“Will you please stop crying?”
“No.'
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'Then may I point out that you’re being unreasonable.'
'Go to hell.' She walked over to the window and stared out into the darkness. 'Eve.'
She could feel his gaze on her back. 'Go away.”
“Are you going to tell me why you’re so angry with me?' She didn’t answer.
'Tell me.'
She whirled on him, her eyes blazing. 'Oh, yes, you’re too mean to get killed. You’re going to be around for the next fifty years or so. I don’t have to be afraid, do I?'
He went still. 'Oh, shit.'
'You could have died tonight.' The words tumbled over one another. 'You had no right. You upset my life, you barged around and made me feel things I never wanted to feel. You said you’d be around for the next fifty years and then you try to get yourself— Don’t you touch me.'
She backed away from him. 'Charlie Cather and Billy Sung died tonight, and I hardly thought about them. I didn’t care about the photograph. I didn’t care about Dom. Do you know how that makes me feel?”
“I know how it makes me feel.'
'Are you proud of yourself? You lied to me. You lied about—' He was holding her, pressing her face to his shoulder. 'Stop shaking. It’s over.”
“It’s not over. It’s going to go on. Because you’ll never change. You’ll keep on doing stupid, insane things because you have an ego that tells you that you’ll live forever even if you—' Her whole body was trembling. 'I can’t stand it.'
'Neither can I. You’re turning me inside out.'
'You shouldn’t have done it. You shouldn’t have done it.'
He was lifting her and carrying her to the couch. 'Shh, I’ll do anything you say if you’ll just stop shaking.' He cradled her on his lap. 'I thought I was prepared for anything, but I was wrong. I wasn’t ready for this. It was always Bonnie who came first with you. I never thought—'
'Because you can’t see farther than the tip of your nose.' He was silent a moment. 'Are you telling me that you love me?”
“I’m not telling you anything, you bastard.'
'It’s hard to judge because of the verbal abuse, but I think that’s what you’re saying. It…
heartens me.'
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'It doesn’t hearten me.'
'I know. It scares you.' He was rocking her back and forth. 'If you’ll just stop shaking, I promise I’ll try to live forever.'
No one lived forever. His heart pounded strong and steady beneath her ear, but it could have been stilled tonight. Her hands tightened on his shoulders. 'Idiot.'
'Hush.'
'You’ll do it again. I know it. You’re a cop.' He was silent.
She was silent too. Moments passed and she sat there, listening to the beat of his heart. Lover.
Best friend. Center.
She gradually stopped shaking.
He gently pressed his lips to her temple. 'Someday will you tell me you love me?'
“Probably not.' Her arms tightened around him. 'You don’t deserve it.”
“True.' He was silent again. 'I won’t take chances I don’t have to, Eve. I’ve never wanted to live more than I do at this moment. Okay?'
'It has to be okay, doesn’t it? I have to accept it. That’s life.'
'Yes, that’s life. Welcome back.' He brushed her hair away from her face. 'You’re a mess. I’ve gotten grease all over you.'
'It will wash off.' But what had happened that night could never be eradicated. Every one of her protective barriers had been stripped away and she’d been forced to face her true feelings for Joe. But they were too intense, almost unbearable. She pushed him away and slowly stood up. 'We’ve got to leave to go to Professor Dunkeil’s lab. I’ll use the powder room down here.
You go upstairs and change. Those clothes are beyond hope.'
'I’m on my way.'
