Richard's Day-Book
Mama is so furious with me that I have had to stay in my room all day, and told Amy I have a fever. I was only allowed soup. It is all Jeremy's fault. He told me he had done it before and that ladies always treat it as a jape afterwards. I do not know now if Mama wanted to or not. She was very quiet, but that was only because of Amy, I am sure. I have written her a note and said that I deserve to be beaten and have asked her forgiveness. I put it under her door. I know she found it because I listened very carefully and heard her unfolding the paper, but then I heard her turn the key in her lock. I have been afraid that she would go and see Jeremy's parents, but she did not leave the house. If something would happen, I would feel better. I don't care what it is. Mama's silence is awful.
Amy's Day-Book
Richard does not look at all himself and would hardly speak to me, though I only ventured once into his room. Mama says he may have something catching and that I must not stay. Tomorrow Mama and I are going into town.
I hope I see Jeremy. I think he is very handsome, but I do not think Mama thinks much of him.
Lady Celia's Day-Book
A visit from the Mansfield girl and ladies. Mr. Mansfield did not come; it was said that he was busy and extended his apologies. Sylvia is very sweet, but I find the Misses Mansfield rather forward. It is the way of some County folk apparently. They venture to speak of more intimate things than one is accustomed to. Thus, when I was showing them my dresses, both said what a fine figure I had and judged my age to be several years less than it is, about which I did not disabuse them. Muriel remarked that I have a fine bosom and what she described as a most fetching embonpoint, by which Roger later told me she intended my bottom.
That was not a very ladylike thing to say, I told him, whereat he said that to the contrary it was a fine compliment and that my bottom-as he insists on calling it now-is as sleek and firm as a Dutch cheese. He has many times attempted to enter my person there, but I have always desisted. 'It is the country fashion', he said, which I cannot bring myself to believe, nor that Nature intended such. I fear to think how he has come upon such knowledge and tackled him upon that while we were abed and he constantly fingering my aperture there. He said he had overheard such talk being put about in the tap-rooms locally and that it is called corking a female.
I continued to resist his efforts whereupon he spilled against my belly after rubbing furiously and becoming much more excited than I have ever known him do before. I trust that country life is not changing him. I have never known him be this way before. It was proper for him, of course, to accompany the ladies back to their residence, though he was overlong in returning, which I told him would tire Daisy out. She appears to be enjoying the company of Sylvia, though, and that pleases me. It is good for her to have someone of her own age. Girls grow up more quickly nowadays than they were wont to.
Daisy's Day-Book
I am going to ask Mama if I can stay a whole week with Sylvia. We have such a jolly time. Papa is much brightened up now that we have new friends. Mama was a little grumpy that we stayed so long, but Papa wished to talk business with Sylvia's aunties. I believe it was about their stable for they went in there while Sylvia and I stayed away in the garden. Sylvia said we must not play fingers and kisses, as we call it, in sight of her Papa's window again so went into the shrubbery. I like sucking her tongue and she likes sucking mine.
Oh dear, we forgot the passing of time, it was so nice and warm on the grass. We hardly had time to push down our dress before we were found, and Papa looked very flushed for he saw our legs, but Sylvia's aunties said all young ladies like to kiss and that we were not fret to show our jollity. Aunty Muriel is very friendly with Papa for she had her arm around him. Papa did not know what to say, and I myself was confused. She said that if we all kissed one another it would make it the same. Then everybody kissed everybody, and it was very nice. Papa only kissed me on the comer of the mouth and, while he was doing so, Aunty Muriel said she would smooth my dress down, but instead she pulled it up! Sylvia giggled. Papa said it was wrong.
We all had some lemonade and champagne mixed after that. I did not see Mr. Mansfield. He must work very hard. When we came home in the carriage, Papa said I am not to take offence at their jollities for it is the way of people hereabouts.
I did not know what to say, for he spoke to me very directly and I hoped and hoped he had not really seen what Sylvia and I were doing in the garden, so I said I did not mind. Papa said he could not hear me, though, with the noise of the carriage wheels, so I sat on his lap and said it again. He said it meant that I was growing up and that he would kiss me for that, which he did, and while he was doing so he felt my titties! I felt all sticky and warm and the carriage jogged us ever so much so I clung to him and bounced up and down and I could feel my titties swelling. Papa asked did I like it and I said yes, I did not mind, and he said we would do something nicer soon. He sucked my tongue like I do with Sylvia and her aunties! I felt swoony. I am sure now that he did see, so I could not say no. Oh, I did so much kissing today that I feel quite dizzy when I think of it. Aunty Jane said to play with myself when I think of nice things, so I do now.
Phillip's Day-Book
The doom of womanhood is upon me, if womanhood it is still to be called. I am to call both my sisters 'Mistress', I am told, and am to kneel whenever they enter my room. To my profound shame I find myself now doing so, my head first to be buried up under the skirt of one or the other and my ears painfully clenched between their thighs. At all such times now they wear drawers, the crotches of which frequently become moist when I am thus imprisoned.
'Hold your face up and sniff, but do not lick', I am told in the most severe tones. It is useless for me to beg (dear heavens, that I should use that word!) that I do not wish to do either. I am beginning to find a fearful, an utterly incomprehensible, feeling of comfort in having my face so clenched between their fulsome thighs-even, I note, to the use of that very adjective that they have bidden me both to use and to write.
I have not progressed scarce two paragraphs in my new writing, and such as I have miserably penned is scorned. My day-book is henceforth to be read by them. I have no rights of privacy. Thus am I told to write herein that which I hesitate to set down on paper otherwise. I have smelled in their drawers an admixture of urine and muskiness such as evidently comes upon a woman when she is 'on heat'- oh, dreadful phrase, and one that they have put into my mouth as well as have caused to ease forth from my pen.
In my boyhood I several times heard rough fellows use the dreadful word 'fucking'. My sisters have extracted this confession from me. Deirdre frequently used it when she found herself in the throes of passion, and often wished me to repeat it, to say it to her then, but I would not.
It is, I am told now, an unseemly word for me to employ-though I never have save when Muriel and Jane both brought me to utter it after long ear-burning moments in-between their undoubtedly strong legs. I am to speak instead of 'servicing' a female-which is to say to insert my penis in their persons (I shall be punished for not using the word I was told to) and to so modulate my movements as to accord them pleasure.
I am to be 'taught' this, and indeed have already, to my renewed despair, begun. This evening Jane knelt upon the couch in my study and presented her naked person to me in the shape of her posterior, having pushed her drawers down to her knees. Muriel meanwhile manipulated me through my drawers and then commanded me to push down and to mount the couch behind Jane who rested on her palms. By various tickling movements of Muriel's fingers I was then entered into Jane's person, or quim-the crest of my tool to very slowly enter until the whole of my penis was engorged in her 'clinging channel'.
The emotions, the sensations, that come upon me when I am sheathed thus in one or other of them are utterly indescribable and so far beyond the bounds of propriety-of morals such as they are properly known and understood in decent Society-are such as make my head reel. Bending behind me, Muriel felt for and held my testicles lightly while I was made to remain embedded in that spongy nest. (Their words again, not mine, of course.)
I was, I was told, to accord Jane fifty long slow strokes of my unfortunately stiffened penis-no more and no less before expelling my juices in her. My testicles being warning held, as I have said, Muriel then slapped my bare buttocks with her free hand and bid me commence. Ah, what an agony of sinful effort! I was made to remain with my torso upright and gazing ahead-not on the 'divine form' of Jane, as Muriel expressed it.
