so. Celia, after all, enjoyed herself, and women frequently wish their struggle to be overcome. I know I did when less than half her age.
A letter arrived, addressed to me, from Deirdre. She is enjoying her newfound freedom and asks after Sylvia, of course, but not Phillip. Last night I made him do 'Mouth Number One'. Having filled myself with wine, and while Jane kept Sylvia occupied, I led him to the bathroom nearest to his room and made him strip and lie down in the bath upon his back.
He begins by being silent always, but then whines. He asked me what I meant to do.
'Mouth Number One', I said. He has the list and should have learned it all by now.
'Oh no!', he gasped and tried to rise, but I put one leg over the side of the bath and pinned him down.
'Down, cur! Have you not learned obedience yet?', I asked. And yet withal I felt a certain tenderness for him and bent and frigged his prick up to a fine good stand that mollified him, for he groaned a groan or two-no more. I spoke to him of Celia's bottom while I did. He grimaced, yet I sensed the pleasure he had had from it. He was a 'good boy' then and must be now, I said. My belly swilled with wine. I had to grit my teeth to hold myself, stripped as I was to just a petticoat. He likes to look up in-between my legs more now. My straddled legs allowed him a perfect view. He gazed up at me blindly and licked his lips. The bath was cold beneath his back, he said, but I ignored that silly plea.
I worked my fingers up and down his prick and couched his balls in my free hand. I swear they are now heavier from being exercised more than in the past, and told him so. I said-just to help bring him on-that he would have to give it soon to Sylvia.
'Do not speak so!', he begged.
'She will make you come a lot, you know', I teased. His eyes held dreams, his buttocks squirmed.
'You would not, Muriel-could not!'
“Then be a good boy and give me all, and I will give you something in return. Her cunny will be warm and tight, will suck you deeply in and…'
'Aaaargh!', he gurgled. Few men can resist erotic words when they are being frigged. Phillip is no exception now, though he once thought himself to be. His cock throbbed mightily-out shot the creamy jets. Descending on my hand, they splashed my wrist.-'Moo-moo-moo-Muriel!', he moaned and frothed the more, and then was limply done. I let it bubble on a bit, then wiped my fingers on a towel.
He who gives must receive, I said, and got into the bath, raised up my petticoat and lowered my waiting quim over his mouth. He kept his lips together at the first, but then I took his weakening cock and again twisted it.
'Phillip, don't be naughty', so I scolded him. I have the measure of him now. He adores to be spoken to like that, though might deny it in the light of day. I twisted more and caused his mouth to open wide, his lips on either side of my lovelips.-This is called water games', I said, though never had I done such a thing before.
I held back for a moment, then I gushed. O golden rain descending forcefully into his mouth! He spluttered, gargled, choked. I held him still by force of my bottom's weight. His heels drummed on the bottom of the bath. I had not finished yet.
'Is it not good wine?', I laughed, and afforded him another flow-though lifting slightly, let it gush around his face, the golden spray and droplets sparkling on his skin, and more choked, anguished sounds from him.
I rose and clambered out and left him spluttering and very wet. My wicked deed was done. A strange and perverse thrill it gave me, too. I threw a towel upon his limp, soaked form, told him to bathe and go to bed. It is better always to end curtly on such things. This I have learned with Phillip, at the least, and do not doubt that other men are so who come beneath a woman's heel.
'I must anoint him, too', says Jane who so often follows what I do.
'I think he will expect it now', I said. I believe that to be true. I believe that Phillip could not express himself successfully before with women, and that without his knowing it he wished to be conquered by them rather than conquer. He is happier in his dismay than he would be had he continued to live in what he thought of as his normal way. Last night I told Sylvia that we were going to play a silly game, and that upon entering her father's study to say goodnight to him, she was to tell him to rise upon her entrance.
As I expected, she was most doubtful of doing this, but was prodded in the right direction by Jane also- indeed we had to physically prod her up the stairs to do it! At his door she hesitated and I waved my hand at her insistently. She knocked and entered and I heard her voice say tightly, 'Papa, please stand up'. A minute later she was out, and with a huge smile on her face like a pauper who has found a ten-pound note.
'He did it!', she whispered in her wonderment.
'Of course. You must continue so to act', I said. I thereupon entered the study in turn and gave some mild praise to Phillip for performing correctly in the presence of a female.
'I was already standing up', he protested, which I knew was not true.
'Just continue to be obedient, Phillip, that is all'.
His knob protruded through his trousercloth. The excitement of submission brings him up as quickly as does anything. I have told Sylvia to rub herself against it next time-briefly, and no more than that. How shocked she looked, and all the questions in her eyes! Dear Jane, though, backed me up in that. How fortunate I am to have her with me all the time!
Sylvia's Day-Book
I do not know what to think sometimes. Things that I always thought were rude are not so, and neither are things that are naughty. These are just 'disguise words', both my aunties said to me. I really listen to them, though, I really do. They have to tell me things the men cannot, they said, and besides I am growing up and must get used to it. They make me say things like 'cock' and 'prick' when they are talking with me now. I think Daisy knows those words as well. I am going to ask her when she comes! I'm sure she'll say she does already know. She tries to be a clever puss sometimes, but I don't mind because I like her all the same.
I know how men put their stiff things in girls now. It can go up in my bottom, too, said Aunty Jane, told me that was why they put their fingers there when we're in bed together. Ooooh! I can't imagine anything so big in such a naughty place, but they said I'm going to have to do it soon. I don't know what to think of that.
I think I will tell Daisy-if I dare. Aunt Muriel thinks that she already knows. I asked her how she knew that but she wouldn't say.
Deirdre's Day-Book
Three days have passed now since Richard's last visit. He is to go tomorrow again-for the last time, I hope. As to Amy, I knew not what to say to her after Maurice had departed. Finally I could not help myself and asked her if she felt happy. What a foolish thing to ask! She blushed and said she did and turned away. I know all the emotions in her heart as well as I know the springlike stirrings in her slender form.
I approached her and she kept her back to me. Maurice was a nice man I ventured. She but nodded and kept her shoulders tight. Suddenly she spun around and cuddled into me.
'Oh, Mama!', she said in wonderment.
'It is nice', I said. Another foolish thing to say, yet she understood as much from it as I wished her to. I wanted her reply in any case, to feel more settled in myself. It was, she said in a small voice, and to my great relief as well. It was always so, I said, and stroked her hair. I wanted her to feel appeased. Then Richard entered and he stared at us in our embrace and asked what was to do. Amy then burst at him to go away and told him he was stupid-but I understood the flaring of her feelings then. Richard looked sulky and went back upstairs where nowadays he spends much time a-brooding in his room. It is not good for him.
'I am sorry I said that to him', said Amy after he had gone. I told her that I understood. And then, in one of those bursts of false confidence that one sometimes has, I told her that if she enjoyed herself I did not mind. Her 'Yes, Mama' was one of as much relief to her as to me. I told her I would talk to Richard, and she then was pleased- so much so that she knew not how to put her face and whether to look serious or gay. My words have helped her, and that comforts me. She is more fit to deal with men; I realize that now, and Eveline was right.
I resolved to settle things with Richard, too. He sat all doleful on his bed. I told him Amy had apologised. He wanted then to say something, but could not find the words. His eyes settled on my middle part as if he no longer dared to look up or down. It is much better for him so to be. An awkward silence then obtained that I resented in myself and knew my weakness all again that Eveline does not always recognise.
