Good Luck, Yukikaze

“I beg your pardon?”

“I can’t really put it clearly. It was just a feeling I got when I went back there. I don’t think humans are capable of really sensing the true, actual JAM themselves.” Rei told the major about what he’d seen on his brief leave back to Earth, about his suspicion that the JAM had already invaded Earth’s electronic networks.

“Rei, why didn’t you say anything about that?” the major asked.

“Because I didn’t have any obligation to report it. I went back to Earth as a civilian, and I can’t substantiate what I felt. And even if it’s true, the people on Earth will deal with those JAM. It’s not our problem.”

“Just saying it’s not our problem won’t make the problem go away.”

“Why not?”

“Why not?!” Major Booker shook his head, looking utterly shocked by what Rei had just said. “Rei, why did you come back here?”

“I came here because you wanted a report on how well my rehabilitation program was going. I’m here because of you, Major Booker.”

“I’m asking if you’re telling me that you believe you’re a completely isolated being in this room here, unconnected to the SAF, the FAF, or the entire Earth. You really think that you can just live here as you please, unconcerned with what happens back there?”

“Yeah, I do,” Rei replied. “The FAF may not believe that, but I think they’re wrong.”

“You went to Earth. You saw that it still exists, right?”

“It doesn’t matter if Earth is real or just a dream. That’s no problem as far as my living here on Faery.”

“You’re saying you came back because you think this is the only place where you can live now?”

“Yeah, I guess I am,” Rei said.

“So, Earth’s already been contaminated by the JAM, and you won’t fight on Earth, so that’s why you came back here?”

“Yeah. On Earth, I’d have to fight humans as well as the JAM. I may as well cut down the number of enemies I have to deal with.”

“Fight humans on Earth?”

“Yeah, Jack,” Rei said with a nod. “Life is battle, and there’s nobody there I can depend on. I’m not an Earth human anymore, and neither are you.”

“What do you mean, you’re not an Earth human?”

“We’re Faerians now. We have to fight an enemy that threatens that existence. This battle we’re in isn’t a war. It’s a struggle for existence. It’s not about beating the enemy; it’s about living. Victory for us is not losing. The JAM aren’t the only ones competing against us. Going to Earth showed me that clearly.”

“Rei, I really don’t have time to listen to your great philosophy of life. No matter what you may think, the FAF exists to represent Earth’s interests. That’s reality,” Booker said. “You think we just have to not lose here? If we lose our backup from Earth, you’ll see us lose here pretty damned quickly. You don’t seem to get that. And this stuff about us being ‘Faerians’...Where’d you get an idea like that? Somebody had to have fed you that line, because it doesn’t sound like the sort of thing you’d...” The major paused. “It was Lynn Jackson, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“What, does she expect the FAF to launch a war of independence from Earth? Is that what she’s got you all worked up to do?”

“No. Ms. Jackson just said that I wasn’t a human anymore,” Rei said. “When I asked her what I am, she said I was a Faerian, like that. I thought it was a clear and simple answer, that’s all.”

“That woman is a dyed-in-the-wool journalist. She’s got a toughness to her that keeps her from taking sides with anyone. But you’re not like that. You’re naive, especially now, with your mind and body as unstable as they are. It’s easy to brainwash somebody who’s convalescing, like you are.”

“So you do it, Jack.”

“Me?” the major asked.

“Yeah. It should be simple for you to make me believe that I can have a happy life sacrificing myself for the people of Earth.”

Major Booker took a long, hard look at Captain Rei Fukai. He’s changed, the major thought. There was a subtle change to the style of conversation he was practicing now. But where exactly was the change? He’d been promoted from first lieutenant to captain. Appearance-wise, he was thinner, having lost some muscle mass. But those were just minor changes. The big ones had happened inside. You could tell just by looking at him.

The look in his eyes conveyed a sharper vitality, or from another viewpoint, they were the eyes of a man who now knew fear. They exuded an air of wariness. The old Rei hadn’t been like that. He’d been a man who did nothing but passively glare at the world, with an attitude that said he didn’t like anything and would never like anything. He engaged the JAM as though swatting away flies buzzing in front of him. Anything aside from that, he’d always simply say, “Not my problem.” He was the very image of an advanced weapon who could only see his JAM targets.

But Rei was different now. Now Rei seemed to be observing himself from a higher vantage point. He’d begun to think about the relationship between himself and the world in which he lived. He’d probably realized that there was value to being aware of and thinking about the questions of existence.

In short, Major Booker thought, for the first time in his life, Rei acknowledges that people other than himself exist in the world with him. Even so, the change hadn’t made him more emotional. He was still behaving in an inorganic, mechanical, almost emotionless manner. Rei’s original personality hadn’t changed at all. This man didn’t care what happened to the people of Earth. He’d just come out and said as much only moments ago. But he’d said, “It’s not our problem,” rather than “It’s not my problem.” On the surface, it was just a minor difference, but that difference was conclusive. To put it in terms of weaponry, he was like a missile that had just been switched from passive to active seeking.

But I don’t know for certain that the change is for the better, Major Booker thought coldly. Psychologically, Rei was still very definitely naive. His betrayal by Yukikaze, the one thing he’d trusted, had left a deep wound. That would need rehabilitation along with the wounds to his body. The major had just told Rei that he was in a state that left him open to brainwashing. Rei had just challenged the major to change his mind. Perhaps, somewhere inside, part of Rei doubted whether the changes he’d made had put him on the right course.

Even so, it was clear that this man wanted to put himself on a more precise heading. The major wondered where exactly Rei was flying to.

“This battle we’re in isn’t a war. It’s a struggle for existence,” Major Booker said, trying out Rei’s words for himself. “That’s true for the rank and file of every war. No soldier wants to die in vain. You have to kill the enemy in front of you or be killed yourself. Same goes for the enemy. The struggle for existence. All it means is that you just don’t want to be an enlisted man who gets used up as cannon fodder.”

“I’m not an enlisted man,” Rei replied. “The FAF has never had enlisted men, and I’m a captain now, Major Booker.”

“A figure of speech,” the major said. “You’ve always said that rank didn’t matter to you. Or perhaps you now see the meaning of it and want to rise even higher.”

“I thought you said you didn’t have time to listen to my philosophy of life.”

“Well, it’s already eaten up enough time. So how about it, Rei?”

“Why are you asking?” Rei said.

“I want to make sure the SAF can still use you as a top-class Maeve driver. That’s my job. Now answer me, Captain Fukai.”

“If getting a higher rank badge meant I could guarantee how I die, it might not be a bad thing to aim for. But you can’t say that even a general won’t die stupidly by slipping in the bathroom. The opposite is just as true. If you’re a general, the odds are much higher that you’ll die a ridiculous death like that rather than dying in battle.”

“Die a ridiculous death, huh? It reminds me of the story of Aeschylus.”

“Who’s that?” Rei asked. “Someone famous for dying stupidly?”

“Whether it’s stupid or not depends on your point of view. He was one of the three great tragedians of