abilities in order to collect data on and analyze entities like the JAM. She probably thinks that human sympathy would lead to projecting human qualities onto the JAM, and we’d end up coming to the wrong conclusions.”
“Assuming the JAM actually exist and are a real threat.”
“That’s true. There’s a definite possibility that they don’t really exist,” Rei said.
“What did you just say? You mean you really believe that? I’m amazed. I just said they might not exist to see how shocked you’d be.”
“You may see the JAM as illusory, but that’s not how I see them. They may not have physical existence, but I can sense them,” Rei said. “Their existence is more real to me than yours is.”
“Perhaps the FAF successfully repelled the original JAM long ago. What if the JAM we face now is an imaginary enemy created by the SAF to maintain this war environment? It’s easy for people like you to live in an environment like this, so maybe you’ve gotten together as a group to deceive everyone else. What do you think of that possibility?”
“I’m sure there are some people in the world who think that. It’s not that strange to me.”
“In other words, you’ve considered the possibility as well,” Foss said.
“I think that if a person were drowning in front of me, even I would hold my hand out to them. I’d have to help them. It’s not a question of feelings. It’s a reflexive action.”
“So...?”
Captain Foss didn’t question his abrupt change of topic.
“You seem like you’re drowning in your own thoughts,” he said. “I’m able to sense that. But if I were a JAM, I wouldn’t see you. Probably couldn’t see you. If you were drowning, the JAM wouldn’t directly attack you, but they wouldn’t help you either. They would ignore you completely. As far as the JAM are concerned, human beings don’t exist. I just don’t think the human imagination could come up with beings that can’t even perceive us as the antagonists in a story.”
“You shouldn’t underestimate the power of human imagination, or the clout of others. It may just be my own impression that the SAF has both the imagination and clout to create an illusion like that, but your viewpoint that I seem to be drowning just reinforces it,” Captain Foss replied.
“You can see JAM fighter planes with your naked eye, and they attack. But we can’t see what’s flying them. It may be the same for the JAM as far as humans go. They may not be able to recognize us directly, but when they began to sense the threat we posed, I think they started building a human-perception mechanism. One with the same sensory organs as humans to act as a system to perceive the world as we do. In other words, human duplicates.
“The human side of the war had the means to oppose the JAM from the start — combat machine intelligences, of which Yukikaze is a representative. It doesn’t take much imagination to come up with an idea like this. Neither does the idea that the SAF invented the JAM to justify its own existence to others. All people ever do is think up things that are convenient for them to believe.”
“And in that way, you can psychologically draw me in,” said Captain Foss. “Are you conscious of that and able to judge that for yourself?”
“I think you should withdraw your diagnosis that I’m not psychologically fit for combat. The JAM are the enemy, not Yukikaze. I realize that anew even as I say it. That’s thanks to your counseling. You really are a miracle worker,” Rei said. “Here I am, in the middle of a war, having forgotten about the existence of the enemy, and you’ve made me realize who they are: the JAM are the ones I should be out there killing.”
“I think you see me as more of an enemy than you do the JAM. What do you think of that?”
“That’s the heart of why you’re so nervous. You probably think if I fly into battle with Yukikaze, I’ll just spread the idea of the JAM — which you essentially think are imaginary — even more strongly across the world. You think madness is contagious. As far as you’re concerned, the SAF is insane. The thing is, everything in war is insane. You just haven’t been part of that shared delusion up till now. To the SAF fighting a war, you’re the one that’s insane because you think this war is meaningless, that the JAM are phantoms, and that there really is no enemy anywhere.”
“But you sense that as well, don’t you?” Foss asked. “I think you’re just trying to give meaning to what are meaningless battles.”
“I’m not denying the possibility that the JAM are imaginary. But even if they’re phantoms, just virtual monsters produced from my head and the results of the SAF’s data processing, it doesn’t matter. As far as we’re concerned, the JAM are a real threat, an enemy that will kill us if we ignore them. That’s reality for the SAF. So I’m going to fight, no matter what you say. It’s so that I can live. Since I’ll end up being killed by the JAM if I go along with what you say, you have no right to complain.”
“I wonder if Major Booker feels the same.”
“Since I’m not a commander, I can’t speak for the SAF as a whole. However, at the very least, I can tell you how I see it. This isn’t a war. It’s a struggle for survival. Anybody who stands at my side and tells me that struggle is meaningless is an obstacle to my survival. Removing obstacles is only natural, isn’t it?”
“You’re looking to ‘remove’ me?” Foss said.
“I think you occupy a very dangerous position. The problem is on your end.”
“Thanks for the warning, Captain Fukai.”
“Am I dangerous?”
Captain Foss gave a vague nod in answer to his question.
“Yes, very. I’m afraid of you, although it’s mainly because of the attitude you’ve shown me here.”
“I understand your unease. Even if you don’t authorize me to fly combat missions, I’ll do it eventually. And you’re afraid that, even if I’m nominally fighting the JAM, they won’t be the only ones I’ll attack. You’re afraid that I’ll end up attacking anybody I judge to be an obstacle, even those on my own side. You thought that about me before and you still do now.”
“I want to think that I’m wrong,” Foss said.
“You’re not. That’s the mission of the SAF. If necessary, we will attack our own side. That’s an act of combat allowed in war, just another type of tactic.”
“But you just said this isn’t a war. That idea is surely the core of what is becoming a major problem here.”
“It’s true that I’ve started thinking of it that way lately,” Rei said. “If I were fighting humans rather than the JAM, I wouldn’t have come back here. ‘Let other people fight their wars and leave me out of it’ was what I thought. But I can’t leave the war against the JAM to other people. I tried to ignore it and act like it wasn’t my problem, but it felt like there was no place I could go to escape the threat. I’m afraid that this conflict here is even more grueling than a war. There’s no striking a deal or turning traitor here,” Rei said. “The one rule in effect is that the strongest side gets to survive. In a war with humans on both sides, you can get away with the strategy of letting a few die so that the many will live. You can even let your allies kill noncombatants. But fighting the JAM requires even harsher strategies.”
“Such as?”
“Such as adopting a strategy where you’d let the entire human race die if it meant that you alone could survive. That’s what I think. It’s extreme, but you won’t lose as long as you don’t die. That’s the sort of battle this is. I think the JAM operate under that strategy too. If I went back to Earth and treated what goes on here like it’s an illusion, I might be able to live my life. But when I finally notice the JAM threat there, it would be too late. I hate the thought of that. I don’t want to lose. That’s why I came back to Faery. You can’t understand what I sense, so you’re trying your damnedest to throw out all these hypotheses, trying not to drown in them.”
“Like you’re a specialist in theories —”
“You can’t live with normal sensitivities in the FAF, and that goes double for the SAF. If you want to survive, you have to become as nuts as everyone else here. It’s not so bad. You just have to accept that the JAM are real.”
“What exactly do you have in mind?” Captain Foss asked, a worried expression now on her face.
“Write a report saying that I’m fit for combat duty and sign it. In return, I’ll help you perceive the JAM.”
“How?”
“The JAM aren’t phantoms. They exist on the same level as Yukikaze. There’s more to her than what you can see. Similarly, you can monitor my psychological state from my reactions in flight. Surely a military doctor like you