Gen. Allardice invited Major Head to take a new position at headquarters and then move to Bagdad. This assignment involved traveling regularly from his office at Phoenix Base in the International Zone to the Victory Base Complex across town. Unable to catch a helicopter one day, Head had to ride in a Rhino, part of a convoy or “carpool” as he told his wife.
For those who’ve never heard of a Rhino, it’s a heavily armored bus that looks like something out of a Mad Max movie. Several times a day a Rhino and several armored Humvees make the twelve mile trip from the safety and security of the IZ through the appropriately named ‘Red Zone’ then through the heart of downtown Baghdad and over to Victory.
It was very hot that day 116 degrees. “While the air conditioner was making noise, I think that was about all it was doing. The ‘sweatbox’ (as Rhinos are affectionately called) was living up to its name. Did I mention that when you ride you have to wear your body armor, helmet, and Nomex gloves (just in case it catches on fire)? Miserably hot as we were, we were at least making progress, that is, until just after we entered the IZ.”
Suddenly the Rhino died. All efforts to restart the vehicle failed. A lieutenant colonel’s loud coaching did more to frustrate the poor driver and flood the Rhino than to get it started again. The second lieutenant in charge of the convoy tried to jumpstart it by pushing it with his Humvee. Failure. Next option? Towing.
“Now these are up-armored Humvees that already have an extra two thousand pounds of armor plating on the doors. A Rhino weighs about thirteen tons. I’m not sure what towing capacity a Humvee has, but I’m pretty sure we were way over it. Did I mention it was hot? When the Rhino died so did the barely functioning air conditioner. My body began to sweat in places I’d never felt sweat before. (Did you ever feel sweat dripping off your shins?)” Head retorted sarcastically.
The crew eventually hooked the Rhino up to a Humvee for an inch-by-inch towing through the IZ. When the ordeal was finally over, Head noted that even the outside’s oven-warm breeze actually felt refreshing. He returned to his room, stripped off his drenched fatigues, and sat in his boxers to enjoy an ice-cold Dr. Pepper that never tasted so good.
But good humored Major Head made the most of the ordeal. He told his wife he loved her “more than all the sweat on all the soldiers in Iraq.”
Thank you God for humor, a gift to wipe away sweat and unpleasantness in life.
“True intelligence is a spring of fresh water, while fools sweat it out the hard way.” (Proverbs 16:22; THE MESSAGE)
April 4
MISSING PIECE
A funny thing happened on a trip back to Taji. First of all, when Major Head got off the helicopter, all his old friends started giving him a hard time saying things like, “Didn’t we use to have a Major Head that worked here?” He related this of the quick return trip he made to Taji after taking a new role at headquarters with General. Allardice in Baghdad.
“I felt kind of like the guy on Survivor who chose to switch to the other tribe in the middle of game. I wasn’t fully accepted as a member of my new tribe yet (it doesn’t help that I worked for the General before and they all know it) but I was definitely not welcomed back with my old tribe,” Head commented.
The ribbing he received was only just the beginning. On the return flight to Baghdad, he carried a backpack and two other large bags transporting his belongings he had left behind in Taji. After landing, they headed over to the General’s vehicle when Head made a startling realization.
“As I loaded my bags in the car I caught my holster and it seemed a little light. That’s when I noticed my 9mm pistol was not there. I quickly scanned the ground and seeing nothing started running back to the helicopter pad. As I rounded the corner, the helicopters took off for their next mission. Not sure if this seems like a big to deal to the civilians out there, but in the Army you can get in some serious trouble for losing your weapon. It’s not like I can deny that it happened, my General and Colonel bosses were both standing there with me when I noticed it was missing,” Head explained.
He also noted it was dark. The helicopter was loud and he wore earplugs, so he couldn’t have heard the pistol drop.
“And I had on body amour and was carrying three heavy bags, so I wouldn’t have felt it drop. I scurried over to the passenger terminal and told them I thought I left my pistol onboard. After they stopped laughing, they got on the phone and called ahead to the helicopter’s destination. Sure enough it was back right where I’d been sitting,” Head relayed with relief.
“The General wants to see you ASAP,” General Allardice’s executive assistant barked at Head the next morning when he arrived at work.
“You obviously need this more than I do. You can give it back when you get your own,” Allardice said as he handed Head a pigtail, which is a lanyard soldiers sometimes use to keep guns attached to their belts in case it falls out of the harness.
“Everyone then had a good laugh at my expense,” Head said.
Major Brad Head has a great sense of humor. He knows when to laugh, especially at himself.
Father thank you for grace for those times in life when I misplace or lose something of value. Give me a clear mind and the ability to laugh at life’s minor foibles.
“Prepare your shields, both large and small, and march out for battle!” (Jeremiah 46:3)
April 5
RANK
“As I walk around and eat in the chow hall, I’m very aware of the fact that I’m now a Major. I easily outrank at least 99 percent of the people I see every day. It’s polar opposite from being a lowly Captain at the Pentagon, where 99 percent of the people I saw everyday outranked me pretty surreal,” Major Brad Head emailed shortly after arriving in Iraq.
Head experienced what officers often face: silence.
“When I sit down at a table in the chow hall, conversation typically comes to an awkwardly abrupt halt. I try to convince the soldiers to carry on. Sometimes they’ll ask me a question about how I think things are going. It’s strange to have young soldiers stop to hear what the major is going to say.”
The questions gave him a reason to live up to his rank.
“I understood, for the first time in my career, the responsibility to give a positive but honest evaluation. I generally assure them that what they are doing is incredibly important. So many sources tell them every day that what they’re doing is wrong and inevitably doomed to failure. These assessments are based on lies so it’s hard to keep them from getting extremely cynical,” Head explained.
Head also discovered some hard realities. He met one soldier who occasionally was tasked with suicide watch. Head immediately thought the soldier meant guarding a post targeted by insurgents. Instead suicide watch was staying awake all night with a fellow soldier who was suicidal to prevent that person from injuring himself.
“When people at home say they support the troops, they just don’t support the war that is garbage. That is
