place one way or another, and our lives are about trying to match our actions to his will. He will do whatever it takes to get us where he wants us to be. Self-pity has no part in the plan, nor does selfishness or arrogance; all those things are the result of not understanding where we fit in the plan.
Wendy had a sense from very early on in this story that God was going to use this experience to grow our faith. She thought certainly, that it would grow her faith, mine, and our family’s but God didn’t stop there. For example, Patton had set up a web site to post updates on my condition and allow others to leave comments. By visiting that site, other people were being brought back into a desire to pray and to reconnect with God. God used the situation to witness to people across the world who we didn’t even know. Seeing God work in such a direct and dramatic way has taught us that, essentially, our lives are to bring glory to God, not to ourselves.
Lord, use my life to bring you glory.
“Everyone who is called by my name… I created for my glory.” (Isaiah 43:7)
May 27
THIS IS MY CALLING
I wanted my seventeen-year-old son, William, to enroll in college not the military. But he had other plans.
When I began getting phone calls from military recruiters, I was furious. They needed me to come to the recruiting office and sign a consent form, they said, because he wasn’t eighteen yet.
“I don’t want to discuss it,” I told one recruiter on the phone, “and if you call me again I’ll call my Congressman and report you!”
Months passed, and soon it was Christmas vacation. When William suggested we go for a drive together one day, I happily went.
Two and a half miles later, we were at the front door of the U.S. Marine Corps recruiting office. I was speechless. There was such silence between us you could cut it with a knife.
When we entered the office, the staff sergeant stood up and introduced himself to me. “Is there anything I can get you?” he asked me.
“A stiff drink would be nice.” I was only half-joking.
The staff sergeant explained they needed my signature so William could be in a delayed entry program and put on the schedule so when he finished high school he would go to boot camp. I looked at my son, still so young.
“This is what I want to do; this is my calling,” William said.
“You know if I sign you into the Marines, you are probably going to go to war.”
“I know Mom, but I want to serve my country. This is what I want to do.”
I signed him in. “But you’re going into intelligence, not infantry,” I said.
He signed up for infantry.
William graduated from boot camp as expert rifleman and was at the top of class. I was so proud of him. When you go to their graduation ceremony, it’s indescribable the admiration you have for these young men. This time I cried tears of joy, knowing my son was achieving something very special in order to serve our country.
Lord, help me train and prepare myself for the situations that lie ahead of me.
“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground.” (Ephesians 6:13a)
May 28
MOTHER’S DAY GIFT
No sooner did my son graduate from boot camp than we were notified he would be deployed to Iraq. I knew this moment was coming, but I still wasn’t ready for it.
In early March, all the military moms and wives in our area got phone calls from our men.
“Pray for us,” said William. “I don’t know when we’ll talk again.”
About a week later, the war officially began. I’ll never forget it the war started on William’s nineteenth birthday. Then it was four months 112 days without any communication. I searched for every broadcast there might be, looking for a glimpse of my son or information about his unit. For long stretches of time I was just glued to the TV because I didn’t want to miss something. It was so unbelievably difficult.
When the first casualties list came out on April 7, 2003, it was devastating. You grieve for the families who have lost their sons or daughters and plead with God you won’t be next. It takes your breath away. You are literally gripped to see any pictures on TV, to get any news reports. You’re starved for some assurance. You don’t want to leave home because you don’t want to come back and see a black sedan waiting for you. Every time there’s a knock on the door, your stomach drops to the floor.
Then Mother’s Day came. And while I obviously would have preferred to have my son with me on that day, I did receive a very powerful gift. I was watching the right news broadcast at the right time.
“I just talked to a Marine who just had his nineteenth birthday the day the war started,” the reporter said. My heart skipped a beat. “Just last year around this time he was going to his senior prom.” While he didn’t say his name and I never saw him on that television screen, it was enough. I knew that was William, and now I knew he was alive. My son was still okay.
Lord, help me not base my confidence on my own understanding when I should be trusting you instead.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)
May 29
FINDING SUPPORT
There was no local support group in place, so some other women and I started one for Marine moms. They came from all over to meet together. Everyone brought pictures of their sons and we made buttons with those pictures that we wore every day. We read letters from our sons, said the pledge, hugged, and cried together.
We had lunch at a restaurant situated on a river in Old Sacramento. At the end of lunch, we each took a yellow rose to the river bank as a way of remembering our sons in a special way.
“Corporal William Johns, Fallujah, Iraq: God bless you. I love you. Come home safe,” I said, and threw the rose into the river. Each mother did the same thing, saying her son’s name, where he was deployed, and said a
