“What’s wrong?” Clarence asked.
They’d come to know each other so well, Millie thought. He could read the slightest shift in her mood. Isn’t that what people in love were able to do? Didn’t they become one person, one soul?
“I… I was going through the transcripts and the police reports to prepare for trial and, well, something is bothering me.”
Clarence reached across the table and took her hands in his. As always, his touch was electric and disorienting.
“Tell me. Let me help you,” he said.
“It’s the pinkies, the ones in the jar, and the bodies in the forest.”
“What about them?” Clarence asked.
“How did Brad Miller know where to find them? Who told him where they were?”
Clarence didn’t flinch. He looked totally at ease. “Have you asked him?”
“I did but he wouldn’t discuss it.”
Clarence frowned. “That’s strange. And there’s nothing in the case file that explains how that evidence was found?”
“No.”
Clarence shook his head. He looked puzzled. “Brad isn’t involved with the murders of those poor girls anymore. If he knew, what reason would he have to keep that information from you?’
Millie felt sick. Her voice broke a little when she spoke. “He might not tell me if the information was given to him by a client.”
Clarence’s brow creased and he seemed confused for a moment. Then his eyes widened.
“You think that I told him? How would I know? I had nothing to do with those girls.”
Millie felt awful. She had broken the trust that bound Clarence to her. Clarence looked up and locked eyes with Millie’s.
“I can’t believe this,” he said, his voice shaking. “I thought you loved me.”
“I do,” Millie pleaded, desperate to heal the breach her ridiculous suspicions had created.
Clarence took a deep breath. “You see what they’ve done?”
“Who?”
“The people who framed me. The prosecutors and detectives. These were horrible crimes. If the police can’t solve them legally, they have to find a scapegoat. And I’m it. Why else would they prosecute me after it became clear beyond any doubt that I was framed for Erickson’s murder? If I’m not convicted, they’ll all look bad.”
Millie reached across the table and covered Clarence’s hands with hers. She squeezed them. Her suspicions were forgotten.
“They won’t convict you. I promise.”
Clarence took Millie’s hands in his and returned the pressure. “I know you mean well-and you’re one hell of a lawyer-but they’ve stacked the deck against us. They’ve even made you suspect me, and you love me. What do you think they’ll do to the jurors? Those people don’t know me the way you do. They’ll want someone to pay, and I’ll be the only one in the room they can blame. If we go to trial, I’m doomed.”
“Don’t give up hope!”
“I hadn’t until now.” Clarence looked so sad. “Admit it, Millie. You’ve had doubts, haven’t you? You really thought I was capable of
… of doing… things to those girls.”
Clarence swallowed. He looked sick. Guilt overwhelmed Millie.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, on the verge of tears.
“It’s what they do to you, and it’s the reason I’ll never get a fair trial.”
Millie didn’t know what to say. Clarence was quiet for a moment. He appeared to be deep in thought.
“There is a way,” he said finally.
“What way?”
He opened his mouth. Then closed it and shook his head. “No, I couldn’t ask you to do it.”
“Do what, Clarence? I’d do anything for you.”
“I can’t put you at risk. If it works, we’ll be together. But if it doesn’t…”
“Tell me.”
Clarence leaned across the table and dropped his voice to a whisper.
“I’ve told you before that I have money stashed away, lots of money, enough for us to live on for the rest of our lives.”
She nodded. It was one of the many confidences he’d bestowed on her.
“Millie, there are countries that don’t have extradition treaties with the United States. If we got to one of those countries, we could get married and live together in peace.”
“But how would we…?” Millie started. Then she got it. “Oh, I couldn’t…”
“It’s the only way, and I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. I’m certain we can pull it off.”
“But we’d be fugitives. We’d never be able to come home.”
“We’d be together, Millie. That’s all that matters to me. Ask yourself what kind of a life you have now. Mine is horrible. It’s day after mind-numbing day in a tiny cell, never seeing the sun, grateful for any change in my routine, even a court appearance. I had nothing until I met you. You’ve given me hope. Without you I would have gone insane. I’d do anything-take any risk-to be with you.”
Millie let go of Clarence’s hands. She sat back. “I’ve got to think.”
“Of course,” he said. “I know this is a lot to spring on you. But listening to the doubt in your voice… It tore me up, Millie. To think you might have lost faith in me… It made me realize how hopeless my case is if we’re depending on a fair result at my trial.”
Millie stood up and rang for the guard.
“Are you okay?” Clarence asked.
“I’m confused, Clarence, and I’m scared.”
“I’m sorry. Forget what I said. We’ll take our chances in court.”
She turned her back so she wouldn’t have to face him.
“I’ll think about what you said,” she told him just as the guard appeared.
“Okay. And, Millie, no matter what you decide, I love you.”
M illie wandered back to her office building in a daze. When she got upstairs, she closed the door to her office and tried to distract herself by working on another case, but she couldn’t concentrate. If she did what Clarence asked her, life as she knew it would be over-but she and Clarence would be together.
“What do I have now?” she asked herself. Until she met Clarence, her life had been dull gray. When she was with Clarence, everything was highlighted in bright colors. True, she was starting to make money and a name for herself, but that could end. One highly publicized loss, and she could be back where she started, a nobody. And even with her professional success, she was still who she was, colorless, boring, and drab. She only felt like a woman when she was with Clarence. He made her feel alive. Could she give up everything for him? If she did what he asked, she would be a fugitive; she would be trapped in the country to which they fled, never able to leave for fear of arrest.
But she would be with Clarence; they would be bound to each other.
Millie tried to imagine what it would be like to wake up every morning in bed with Clarence, sated by a night of lovemaking, warmed by the heat of his body. That life would be so much better than what she had now.
Millie told her secretary that she had a headache, and she left for her apartment. When she was inside, she kept the lights off and sat on her sofa. She looked around. Her apartment was as much a prison as Clarence’s cell. What would she be giving up if she left it and went on the run with Clarence? She would live in fear, but fear was an emotion, love was an emotion. Before she met Clarence, her life had been a wasteland, bare of all emotions except depression. This was her chance, maybe the only chance she would ever have, to experience life. But did she have the courage to take it?
Chapter Fourteen
