humped her standin’ and humped her lyin’… If she’d had wings I’d have humped her flyin’. Come a ti-yi-yippee all the way, all the way, Come a ti-yi-yippee all the way!”
Then he frowned and muttered, “It ain’t funny, you damn fool stud! How in God’s name are you ever gonna face that gal at breakfast, and more important, which of them Stover women was it?”
Breakfast came like death and taxes and there was no way to get out of biting the bullet. So, although he took his time getting dressed, Longarm finally went in to join the others around the plank table, braced for damned near anything.
All but the railroad detective were there ahead of him, of course. One of the Stover women came out of the kitchen and put a tin plate of buckwheat cakes in front of him without comment. Longarm watched her back, saw the gray in her tied-up hair, and decided it couldn’t have been the mother.
The midget, Cedric Hanks, called down the table, “Where’s that dick, working for the railroad? Anybody seen him this morning?”
Longarm broke into the puzzled murmurings to announce, “I sent him to Bitter Creek. Don’t seem likely he’ll be back.”
The Mountie smiled thinly and asked, “So you’ve eliminated one of us? How do you propose to get rid of me, Longarm?”
“Don’t know. Still thinking about it.”
Captain Walthers said, “I warn you, Deputy, you’ll have the War Department to answer to if you try to… whatever you did to that other man!”
“Don’t get spooked, Captain. I didn’t use nothing but sweet reason on him. It ain’t my way to threaten. Ain’t my way to brag, neither. Speaking of which, is there any chance some of your friends at the War Department might be sending in a squadron or so of cavalry? I just counted heads across the street. There’s a good two dozen cowhands and such loafing around the log jail. Don’t know if they’re fixing to lynch the prisoner, run us out of town, or both.”
Sheriff Weed said, “I moseyed over to jaw with that Timberline just now. They seem more cautious than unfriendly. Timberline says since you rode in, some of the vigilance committee’s getting anxious.”
“Could be. Timberline tried to crawfish me, last night.”
“Do tell? What happened?”
“I didn’t crawfish worth mention. He’s likely surprised to meet up with somebody who ain’t afraid of him.”
Weed laughed and agreed, “That’s the trouble with growing as big as a moose. Most fellers leave their brains behind once they top six feet. Get used to having their own way without the effort the rest of us have to put out. You been following that trouble they’ve been having down in New Mexico Territory, Longarm?”
“Lincoln County War? Last I heard, it was over. New governor cleaned out both factions’ friends in high places and appointed new lawmen. What’s Lincoln County to do with hereabouts?”
“Just thinking about a matter of size they got mixed up on down there. You ever hear of Kid Antrim?”
“Billy the Kid? Sure, he’s called Kid Am, Billy Donney, Henry McCarthy and God knows. There’s a federal warrant on him for killing an Indian agent, but other deputies are looking for him. I take it you don’t know where Kid Antrim’s hiding, these days?”
“No, I was talking about his size. Kid An can’t be more’n five foot four, and he’s killed more men than men like Timberline ever even have to punch. You see my point?”
“Saw it long before you took us all over the Southwest Territories to say it. When folks crowd me, I just crowd back. I didn’t have to spin no yarns to Timberline. I suspicion we’ve got it straight, about now.”
The daughter came in from the kitchen with a fresh pot of coffee and placed it on the table, looking neither at Longarm nor at the others as she scooted out again. Weed said, “Ain’t they something? Act like they expected one of us to grab ‘em and run off to the South Seas or a Turkish harem with ‘em.”
“Mountain folks are bashful,” Longarm said, feeling much better.
The storekeeper, Stover, came in to glare down at everyone and ask, “Is everything to your pleasure, gents? Excuse me—lady and gents?”
Mabel Hanks dimpled prettily and said, “My husband and I were just admiring your cutlery. Wherever did you get such a splendid service? It’s so unusual.”
Stover said, “It’s odd stock from a bankrupt mail-order house, mostly, ma’am. I reckon some it’s all right. We don’t stint on guests in Crooked Lance.”
Stover saw there were no complaints forthcoming, so he went back to tend his other enterprises as Captain Walthers smiled at Mabel knowingly. The army man was wrapped about her finger, right enough. But how was a U.S. Deputy to use that? Longarm knew the woman could be bought, but the captain didn’t look like a man who would desert in the middle of a mission.
After breakfast they all met out back to walk by the creek or sit on the veranda, waiting for something, anything, to break the deadlock, as what promised to be another tedious day settled in.
Longarm managed to get the army man aside as the latter was checking out his own big walking horse in the livery. Longarm watched Walthers clean the walker’s frogs with a pointed stick for a time before he cleared his throat and asked, “Would you be willing to take a federal prisoner back to Bitter Creek for me, seeing as we’re both federal officers?”
“You mean Cotton Younger? Of course, but how are we to get him away from those crazy cowboys across the way?”
“Wasn’t talking about him. As I see it, were stuck in this bind with the vigilantes till somebody sends help or they come to their senses. I’d say that could take at least a week. Meanwhile, I’m figuring to make an arrest. I mean, another arrest.”
“Oh? You mean you’ve identified someone here in Crooked Lance as a wanted man?”
