or you are going to be a mess by the time we get to trial.”
Stafford was breathing heavily, and David could see the rapid beating of a pulse near his temple. Suddenly, he sagged and his breathing quieted.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should know enough about the courts to know that nothing is going to happen right away. There’s no reason it should be any different because I’m the one in trouble.”
“Good. I’m glad you understand that. I’ll see you soon, Larry.”
MONICA WAS STANDINGin the hall near the elevators.
“What was that all about?” David asked.
“Our office is opposed to your client’s release on bail.”
“You made that quite obvious in there,” he said, pointing over his shoulder. “I want to know why. Stafford’s no junkie who’s going to split the minute the jail door opens. He’s married, with a job-”
“I know all that. It makes no difference.”
“Why? What have you got on him?”
“You’ll get all your discovery in the normal course when he’s arraigned in circuit court,” Monica said abruptly. Something was upsetting her.
“I know all about discovery procedures, Monica. I’m asking you now, as a colleague who’s-”
“Look, David, I’m putting you on notice. This one is different. No breaks and nothing that isn’t procedure according to the books.”
“Whoa. Slow down. I’ve always been square with you, haven’t I?”
“Yes. And this has nothing to do with you or me. This one is different, and I mean it. There is more to this case than you know.”
“Like what?”
The elevator door opened and Monica stepped inside.
“I can’t discuss it and I won’t. I’m sorry.”
David watched the door close and turned back toward the courtroom. Monica had never acted this way before, and it troubled him. When they had a case together, they discussed it. They tried to be as honest with each other as the rules of the game allowed. David’s initial impression of Larry Stafford had been favorable, but Monica had said that there was more to the case than he knew. Did that mean that she had conclusive evidence of Stafford’s guilt? Had Stafford lied when he’d said he was innocent?
The courtroom door opened and someone called his name. He looked up and saw Charlie Holt approaching. He had not noticed him in the packed courtroom.
“What was this about no bail?” Charlie asked.
David did not answer. He was staring at the beautiful woman who was following Charlie.
“Oh, sorry,” Charlie said. “Dave, this is Jennifer Stafford.”
Only it wasn’t. It was Valerie Dodge.
“I’M SORRY, DAVID. I didn’t want to lie to you, but…” Her voice trailed off and she looked at her hands, clasped tightly in her lap. David sat across from her. They had both managed to carry on a normal conversation on the way to his office. Charlie was too distracted to notice the tension between them. David asked Charlie to stay in the waiting room, and they both walked to his office in silence. When David closed the door, Jennifer had taken a chair without looking at him.
“I don’t know if I should stay on this case,” he said.
She looked up, startled.
“Oh, you must. Please, David. Larry needs you.”
“I’m not sure that I’m the best person to represent your husband.”
“Why? Because we slept together? Please, David. I don’t know why I…We’d quarreled and…” She shook her head. “I never did anything like that before. You have to believe me.”
“I do believe you. That doesn’t matter. A lawyer is supposed to be objective, uninvolved. How am I going to do that?”
She looked down at her hands again, and David leaned back in his chair, trying to maintain control. The shock of meeting her in the courthouse was wearing off, and a deep depression was setting in.
“When Charlie suggested your name…at first I was going to say no, but I couldn’t. Larry has to have the best lawyer. I can’t let him…”
She stopped. David turned his chair slightly so she would not be in his line of vision.
“Do you love him?”
She looked up but didn’t say anything.
“I asked you if you love your husband.”
He didn’t really want to know. He had asked the question to hurt her. He felt confused and betrayed.
“Please don’t,” she said. Her voice was almost a whisper, and he was afraid that she would cry.
“Do you love your husband?” David repeated forcefully.
“Does it matter? Do you ask that of every wife who comes to you for help? Isn’t it enough that I’m asking you for help?”
He still could not face her. She was right and he saw that. He was being a fool. A child. And she was asking for help. But to give her that help, he would have to build a barrier between them that might never come down. He swiveled the chair back toward her. She was sitting erect and watching him.
“I could give you the names of several other attorneys. All very competent.”
“No, I want you. I believe in you. I know you can clear Larry.”
“Who is Valerie Dodge?” he asked. She blushed and smiled.
“Dodge is my maiden name. The other one…Valerie…There’s a TV show I watch. I didn’t know what to say and that was the first name I thought of.”
David laughed. She hesitated a second to make sure that his laughter was real; then she laughed. A nervous laugh. Grateful that the tension had been broken.
“I tried very hard to find you. Called Senator Bauer’s campaign committee, scoured the phone books.”
“I thought about you, too. There were times I wanted to…But I couldn’t. Larry and I…we’ve had problems. He works very hard and…What happened that night. It just happened. But you can’t let that interfere with Larry’s case. Whatever I feel for him, if it’s love or…he is my husband and…”
She stopped and they looked at each other. Now it was his turn to avert his eyes. He felt very tired.
“I want to think, Jennifer. I’m mixed up now and I want some time to clear my head.”
“All right.”
“I’ll call you in the morning and let you know what I decide.”
He stood up and she followed. He held open the door and she started to leave. They were close. Within inches of each other. His hand poised on the doorknob, the scent of her all around him. He wanted to hold her. She sensed it and pretended not to notice. The moment passed and he opened the door. When she was gone, he sat at his desk without moving for a long time.
3
David had not slept well. There had been clear skies and a bright slice of moon, and he had watched the stars from the darkness of his living room when he found he could not sleep. What was there to it? A woman he had slept with one time. Why should she matter, when none of the others he had taken to bed had mattered? He knew he would not find the answer with logic, the lawyer’s tool.
What should he do? The answer was obvious. Get out. Obvious on paper, that is. But not in his heart, where the decision was being made. And it was not all that obvious, anyway, because one factor muddied everything over. What if Larry Stafford was innocent? Charlie Holt had told him that Jennifer said she had been with her husband the night Darlene Hersch was murdered, and Jennifer had told him when they were walking to his office from the court-house that Larry was innocent. Stafford had said it too, and David believed him. On the other hand, was the
