'That's true.'
'Well, Con and I thought maybe you were going to get, like, married.'
A quick arrow shot straight into her heart. 'Oh.'
'I thought it would be kind of cool, you know, because Jared's cool.'
She put the patties aside. To give herself time, she ran water, washed her hands and dried them thoroughly. All the while, all she could think was, what had she done to her little boy?
'Bry, you know that people kiss each other all the time without getting married. You're smart enough to know that adults have relationships, close relationships, without getting married, either.'
'Yeah, but if they're really stuck on each other, they do, right?'
'Sometimes.' She skirted the table to lay a hand on his shoulder. 'But it's not always enough to love someone.'
'How come?'
'Because...' Where was the answer? 'Because people are complicated. Anyway, Jared's mad at me, not at you. You can still be pals.'
'I guess.'
'You'd better go out and make sure those kittens keep out of trouble. I'm going to fire up the grill.'
'Okay.' He dragged his feet a little as he started toward the door. 'I was thinking if you got married, he'd be sort of like...'
'Sort of like what?' she asked.
'Sort of like my father.' Bryan moved his shoulders again, in a gesture so very much like her own when she blocked off hurt, another shaft of pain shot through her. 'I just thought it would be cool.'
Chapter Twelve
Bryan's wistful statement dragged at her mind and spirits all through the evening. To make it up to him for a disappointment she felt unable to control, she made the casual meal into their own private celebration.
All the soda he could drink, french fries made from scratch, wild, involved and ridiculous plans on how they would spent the fortune they would amass from selling her paintings.
Trips to Disney World weren't enough, they decided. They would
Savannah kept up the game until she was reasonably sure both of them had forgotten that what Bryan really wanted was Jared.
Then she spent the night staring at the ceiling, thinking of all the wonderful, hideous ways to pay Jared MacKade back for putting a dent in her boy's heart.
Hers wasn't all that important. She knew how to hammer it out. Time and work and the home she'd continue to make would all help. She didn't need a man to make her whole. Never had. She would see to it that her son never felt the lack of a father. But she would punish Jared for raising Bryan's hopes.
The bastard had made himself part of their lives. Flowers, damn him. Playing catch in the yard, taking Bryan over to the farm, awakening her in bed the way no one, damn him again, no one ever had.
Then looking down at her from his lofty lawyer's height. Questioning her morals and her actions and her motives. Making her feel more, then making her feel less, than she'd ever been. Making her question herself.
He wasn't going to get away with it. Without realizing it, she shifted to the center of the bed, so that it wouldn't feel so empty. He couldn't worm his way into their lives, then start making demands. Who was she, where had she been, what did she want? She didn't owe him any answers, and she was going to prove it.
He'd wormed his way in, all right, she thought, scowling at the ceiling. He'd made her feel foolish and inadequate and, for the first time in ten very long years, vulnerable. Now he thought he could worm his way out again because she wasn't just exactly what he preferred in a...
She sneered at the word. In a
She hated him for that, really hated him for making her start to think, start to hope and even plan along those lines, without her even being aware of it. Until Bryan brought it up, she hadn't realized she was dreaming, just a little, about happy-ever-after.
Like the fairy tales she illustrated, with their strong and passionate princes.
It was embarrassing. It was humiliating. A woman like her, a woman who had managed through sheer will and grit to shrug off the bruises life handed out, to be brought this low by a man.
She'd survived alone. She'd gone hungry, worked until she was dizzy with fatigue, had taken jobs that scraped at her pride. She'd been turned out by her own father when she needed him most.
And none of that, not one of the painful or difficult experiences in her life, had ever left her as low as this.
And none of that, she had made certain, had ever brought Bryan one moment's sadness.
She took a deep breath, then another. She would show Jared MacKade just what kind of woman she was. The kind of woman who didn't need him.
Jared decided brooding on the front porch with a beer on a Saturday afternoon wasn't such a bad thing. He was almost enjoying it. It was a beautiful day, and he was pleasantly fatigued from the morning's work.
His brothers were with him, and it was a good feeling, to have all of them there. Just passing an hour, he mused, at home. Watching the grass grow and the dogs race over it.
Maybe, just maybe, in a little while, he'd stroll on over to the cabin. He figured he'd given her time enough to stew, to calm down and see reason.
He'd given himself almost enough time, as well. He was almost ready, not quite but almost ready, to admit he'd been somewhat heavy-handed. Maybe just the slightest bit unreasonable.
Still, she'd been ridiculous. Accusing him of being threatened by a photograph, of wanting a different kind of woman. Of not being satisfied with her because she didn't read Kafka.
God knew where she'd come up with that.
He didn't appreciate the comparison of her life with his, either. Made him sound like a narrow-minded sexist. Which he certainly was not.
It was different, that was all.
'Talking to himself,' Devin commented as he whittled as a piece of wood.
'Been doing it since he got here yesterday.' Shane yawned and kicked back in his chair. 'You ask me, Savannah kicked his butt out.'
That, and Rafe's snorting laugh, snagged Jared's attention. 'She did not. I left to make a point.'
'Yeah.' Rafe winked at Devin. 'What point was that?'
Eyes narrowed, Jared tipped back his beer. 'That she'd better start seeing things the way they are.'
This statement was greeted by hoots.
'His way,' Rafe pointed out. 'It always has to be his way or no way.'
'Bull.' Unoffended, Jared crossed his ankles. 'It just has to be the right way.'
From his perch on the top step, Devin shifted, leaned his back against the post. 'So, what was she doing wrong?'
'She holds back. I get a call from Howard Beels this morning, thanking me for introducing them. Seems she went over there yesterday and he bought three of her paintings.' Just thinking of it had him simmering again. 'Does she tell me? No. What kind of relationship is that? I don't get anything out of her without a direct question, and then she only answers half the time.'
Amused, Shane stretched his arms. 'And I just bet you've been full of questions, too. What happened then? What did you do? What chain of events led to that? And where were you on the night in question?'
Jared's punch would have been stronger if Shane hadn't been a full arm's length away. 'I don't interrogate her. I ask. I want to know about her. A man has a right to know the woman he's going to marry.'
Rafe choked on a gulp of beer. 'When did that happen?'
'I knew it.' With a heavy sigh, Shane flipped the top of the cooler and got out a beer for himself. 'I just knew it.'
Eyes bland, Devin studied Jared. 'You asked Savannah to marry you?'
