'I...' He was still angry. She had expected that, was prepared for it. 'I have some things to say to you.'
'All right. Go ahead.'
'I know I hurt you, and that you're furious with me. You don't want me to apologize. You get mad when I do, so I won't.'
'Fine. Aren't you going to make me coffee?'
'Oh, I—' She'd already turned to the pot before she caught herself. She drew a breath, turned back and faced him. He had a brow lifted. 'No.'
'Well, that's something.'
'I'm used to waiting on people.' Now she was irritated, a not entirely unpleasant sensation, even if an unfamiliar one. 'If it annoys you, I can't help it. Maybe I like waiting on people. Maybe it makes me feel useful.'
'I don't want you to wait on me.' He could see the irritation clearly enough. It added a snap to her eyes that fascinated him. 'I don't want you to feel obliged tome.'
'Well, I do feel obliged. And I can't help that, either. And the fact that I do feel obliged and do feel grateful— Don't shout at me, Devin.'
Impressed with her no-nonsense tone, he closed his mouth, then added, 'I might yet.'
'At least wait until I've finished.' It wasn't so hard, she realized. It was like dealing with the children, really. You just had to be fair and firm, and not allow yourself to be sidetracked. 'I have good reasons to feel obliged to you, and grateful to you, but that doesn't meant that beyond that, or besides that... It doesn't mean I don't have other feelings, too.'
'Such as?'
'I don't know, exactly. I haven't had real feelings for a man in—maybe never,' she decided. 'But I don't want to lose your friendship and... affection. Next to the children, there's no one I care for more than you, Devin. Being with you...' She was going to fumble now, and she hated herself for it. 'The way we were today, this afternoon, before you got mad, was so nice, it was so special.'
She was cutting right through his temper, slicing it to ribbons, the way she was standing there, twisting her purse strap and struggling to find a way to put things right between them.
'Okay, Cassie, why don't we—'
'I came here to go to bed with you.'
His jaw dropped. He was sure he heard it hit the edge of the desk. Before he could pick it up again, the door burst open and Shane strolled in.
'Hey, Dev. Hey there, Cassie. Thought you might want to go down to Duff's and shoot a couple games. Why don't you come along, Cassie? It's about time you learned how to shoot pool.'
'Go away, Shane,' Devin muttered, without taking his eyes off Cassie's face.
'Come on, Dev, you've got nothing to do around here except read another book and drink stale coffee.' Experimentally he picked up the pot and sniffed. 'This stuff''ll kill you.'
'Get lost now, or die.'
'What's the problem? We'll just—' All innocence, Shane turned back. The tension in the air struck him like a fist, the way his brother was staring at Cassie. The way she was staring back. 'Oh. Oh,' he repeated, drawing out the word on a milewide grin. 'Well, son of a gun. Who'd have thought?'
'You've got ten seconds to get out the door before I shoot you.'
'Well, hell, I'm going. How was I supposed to know you and Cassie were—'
'Tomorrow,' Devin said evenly, and finally managed to get his feet off the desk and onto the floor, 'I'm going to break you into very small pieces.'
'Yeah, right. I guess you two don't want to play pool, so I'll be going. Ah, want me to lock this?' he said, winking as Devin snarled at him. But he was obliging enough to flip the latch and shut the door snugly behind him.
'You're not really going to fight with him?' Cassie began quickly. 'He didn't mean anything, and...' Tongue-tied, she let her words trail off as Devin walked slowly around the desk.
'What did you say to me before my idiot brother came in?'
'That I came here to go to bed with you.'
'That's what I thought you said. Is this your way of mending fences and keeping my friendship? Some new way of apologizing?'
'No.' Oh, she was making a mess of it. He didn't look amorous, just curious. 'Yes, maybe. I'm not sure. I know, at least, I thought you wanted to. Don't you?'
'I'm asking what you want.'
'I'm telling you.' Lord, hadn't she just said it, out loud, in plain words? 'I came here, didn't I? I called Ed, and she's staying with the kids, and I'm here.' She shut her eyes briefly. 'It isn't easy for me, Devin.'
'I can see that. Cassie, I want you, but what I don't want is for you to think this is necessary to make things up with me.'
She did what she had done once before. It had worked then. Cupping her hand on his cheek, she leaned up and kissed him.
'Now you're waiting for me to jump you,' Devin murmured.
'Oh, I'm no good at this.' In disgust, she tossed her purse into a chair. 'I never have been.'
'At sex?'
'Of course at sex. What else are we talking about?'
'I wonder,' he said quietly, but she was off and running in a way he'd never seen or heard before.
'I don't know what you want, or how to give it. If you'd just do whatever you usually do, it would be all right. It's not that I won't like it, I will. I'm sure I will. It's not your fault that I'm clumsy or stiff, or that I don't have orgasms.'
She broke off in horror, and saw that he was gaping at her.
'Excuse me?'
Someone else had said that, she thought frantically, looking everywhere but at him. Surely someone else had said that. All she could do to cover the overwhelming tide of horrid embarrassment was to rush on.
'What I mean is, I want to go to bed with you. I know it'll be nice, because it's nice when you kiss me, so I'm sure the rest will be, too. And if you'd just
What the hell was he supposed to do? He knew very well the woman standing there was the mother of two, had been married for a decade. And he'd just realized she was as close to a virgin as anyone he'd ever touched.
It scared the living hell out of him.
He started to tell her that they would take a step back, take it slow. Then he knew that was the wrong way to go. It was painfully obvious that so much of her had been crushed already. What he would know was patience, she would see as rejection.
'I should do what I want with you?'
Enormously relieved, she smiled. 'Yes.'
It was an offer that had the juices flowing hot. He knew if he wanted this to work he had to clamp down on needs—and on nerves. 'And I'll tell you what to do, and you'll do it.'
'Yes.' Oh, it was really so simple. 'If you just don't expect too much, and you—'
'Why don't we start this way?' He put his hands on her shoulders and lowered his mouth gently to hers. 'There's something I want very much, Cassie.'
'All right.'
'I want you to say you're not afraid of me, that you know I won't hurt you.'
'I'm not. I know you won't.'
'And I want you to promise something.' He skimmed his lips up her jaw, felt her shoulders relax under his hands.
'All right.'
'That you'll say stop if you mean stop, if I do something you don't like.'
'You won't.'
