beautiful, precious woman, had considered ending her life.
She rubbed absently at the headache that throbbed dead-center in her forehead. 'But you're too intelligent, too well programmed, to tolerate that kind of waste. It frightens you a little to realize you could actually do it, so you decide—being a practical person—to study human behavior, psychiatry, instead. A much more productive outlet, all in all.'
'How old were you?' he managed, but had to take a steadying breath before he could go on. 'How old were you when you...'
'Researched suicide?' she said calmly. 'Twelve. A dangerous age, all those hormones to deal with. A shock to the regimented system. You have to remind yourself that life, however miserable, is all you've got, and go on with it. It's easier to go on with it if you just close up, close off, lock yourself behind books and theories, credentials and degrees. Until you realize that's just a different kind of suicide.'
She took a long, shuddering breath. 'I'm tired,' she murmured, rubbing her hands over her face. 'They make me so tired.'
Ulcers, a breakdown. Dear God, suicide. What the hell had they done to her? He wanted to tear them apart. All of them. Any of them who had ignored her heart to get to her mind. He wanted, desperately, to go back in time and find that young girl, to give her everything she'd needed and deserved.
But he could only reach out to the woman.
'Come on.' He went to her, held her, close and gentle, despite the storm raging inside him. She needed his calm, not his fury. 'Just lean on me awhile.'
'I'm all right.'
'No, you're not. But you will be.' He damn well would see to it. 'Hold on to me, baby.'
So she did, and it was so easy. 'She didn't do anything wrong, not really. We haven't seen each other in more than a year. I doubt she or my father would recognize me if we passed on the street. The change would surprise them.'
He rubbed his cheek over her hair. She felt so fragile. Why hadn't he seen that before? Where hadn't he looked to see this hurt, vulnerable side of her?
'It doesn't matter what they think, only what you want.'
'You can't always have everything you want. Once I wanted them to love me. I'd have done anything if they'd just said they loved me. You know the problem with a memory like mine? You can't forget things—even when you want to. I remember when they first sent me to boarding school. I was so frightened, so lonely and unhappy. They put me on a plane, didn't even go with me. I was six years old.'
'Oh, baby, I'm so sorry.'
'They could see I had an adult mind, but they never considered the child's heart. Well, I'm grownup now. I should handle it better.'
'You're handling it fine.'
'Not fine, but better.' She eased back a little. 'I'm sorry. If you'd come in an hour later, I'd have been over it.'
'I want you to tell me what you feel.' Very gently, he lowered his head and touched his lips to hers. 'I want to know who you are, and how you got there. I haven't been able to figure you out, Rebecca. All those different pieces of you that never quite seem to fit. Now they're starting to. Do me a favor?'
'What?'
'Don't call her back. Let her stew.'
She smiled a little. 'That's rude.'
'Yeah. So?'
'She'll just call again. My father will call. They—' To prove her point, the phone rang. 'There you are.'
He tightened his grip before she could move. Nothing was going to put that shattered look back on her face while he was here to protect her. 'I don't hear anything.'
'The phone.'
'We don't have a phone.' Thinking only to give her peace, he kissed her again. And brought himself some, as well. 'And we're not here, anyway.'
'Where are we?'
He scooped his arm under her knees, picked her up. 'Anywhere you want to go.' As the phone continued to shrill, he carried her out of the room. 'As long as it takes a real long time to get there.'
When he reached the bedroom, he set her on her feet. The phone had stopped ringing, and he took it off the hook, then set the receiver in a drawer to muffle the buzz.
'That ought to do it.'
'You don't even have an answering machine. It'll drive them crazy.'
'Good.' He'd have liked an opportunity to speak to either of her parents himself. But that could wait. At the moment, he had only one priority, and that was erasing the troubled look in Rebecca's eyes. 'So, where do you want to go?'
She shook her head, her smile puzzled. 'I thought we were there.'
'This is just the starting-off point.' He ran a finger down the vest she wore over a mannish shirt. 'A tropical island? A—what do you call it?—mountain chalet? We could be snowed in. A castle, maybe.' He brushed his lips over her brow. 'Let's pretend.'
'Fantasizing is often a—'
His lips slid down to hers. 'Let's pretend. A long, empty beach, white sand, palm trees. Smell the flowers.' Gently he kissed her eyes closed. 'Hear the surf. Let's go there. I love the way your skin looks in the moonlight.' He nibbled at her lips as he slipped the vest aside and slowly, so slowly, undid the buttons of her shirt. 'There's moonlight on the water, on you. Pretty Rebecca.' Lightly he cupped her breasts. 'Come away with me.'
'Anywhere,' she murmured, and let him take her.
'There's no one but us.' He drew off his shirt, always keeping contact with his mouth, on her lips, her cheek, the curve of her ear. 'And nothing to do but make love. I want to make love with you, Rebecca. Only you, Rebecca. Day and night.'
The words were seducing her. Words were powerful, she knew, and his were captivating her. His skin was under her hands now, wonderfully smooth and warm. His heart beat slow and thick against hers. She would have sworn she heard the waves hiss and rise on the sand.
'In the surf,' she said dreamily as those wonderful hands glided over her. 'With the water flowing up, then away.'
'That's right. Your skin's wet and cool. Slick,' he said as he continued to undress them both. 'And it tastes of salt.' Still murmuring, he lowered her to the bed. 'There's starlight in your eyes.' He could see it, though the last rays of the sun slanted through the windows. 'Silver sparkling in the gold. We can stay as long as you like. As long as you want.'
His mouth slid over hers, coaxing, giving, taking just a little more when her lips softened on a sigh. Beneath his, her body was soft, yielding, surrendering. She was with him now, he knew. Pulse to pulse. He wanted to show her what it was to be cherished.
So his hands were gentle, his lips tender, and each move, each shift, was fluid and patient. Loving. He lingered where he knew it pleased her most, going quietly, easily, sinking a little deeper with each stroke of his hands into the fantasy he'd created for her.
She was floating. It could have been water sliding over her, so sensitive were his hands. And the gift he brought to her was a liquid yearning as much of the soul as of the body.
She dreamed there was sand beneath them, wet and smooth. And the wind at the windows was the musical murmur of surf. The dim light seemed to be rich and silver with the full, rising moon. The exotic perfume of island flowers, the midnight sea that stretched forever, the romantic song of tropical birds.
And her lover was there, holding her.
'Where are you, Rebecca?'
'With you.'
'Stay with me.'
She wrapped her arms around him.
He loved her endlessly, building the pace, letting the current take her up, over. When she tumbled down, he
