She took his hat and the flowers with a happy coo, as if she'd never seen a vacant lot overgrown with prairie primrose, and led him in to the dining room, where two places had been set at their damask-covered table. She cooed some more when he helped her into her seat. Being the colonel's lady, she was likely surprised by good manners. Then she rang a small brass bell as Longarm was sitting his own self down, and a young corporal in a fresh-pressed blue uniform came out of the kitchen and hit a brace as if he expected her to make him recite all twelve general orders.
She told him serve the first course instead.
This turned out to be cold potato and onion soup that she called a 'vicious wash.' He had to agree that no matter what you called it, it seemed just right for such a warm summer evening.
After the cold soup was cleared away, they had cooled-down roast chicken in a nest of iced salad greens. Then they got down to business with steak and mashed potatoes. Elvira said she hoped he'd forgive her for such a simple meal, but she had this weight problem and the regimental surgeon had suggested she and the colonel cut down.
Longarm gravely replied two servings of spuds seemed enough for one supper, and so she had them served a modest dessert of strawberry shortcake under whipped cream.
After that his hefty hostess suggested they have their demitasses with Napoleon in the drawing room. So that's where they went. Nobody named Napoleon was waiting there to drink with them. They called the fancy brandy that went with the fancy coffee Napoleon.
She told him it was jake with her if he smoked while he was at it. But he allowed the coffee and brandy would do him as he waited for her to get down to brass tacks.
It took her a spell. They had to jaw about her husband and that cavalry column off to the north, and he told her about his conversation with Quanah Parker while the shadows lengthened and nobody came in to light any lamps. He was about to offer to do it when the plump redhead took a deep breath and suddenly blurted out, 'What were you doing over there with Spike Wilson's place, Custis?'
He blinked in surprise, then told her honestly enough, 'I went to Shanty Town to have it out with young Quirt McQueen. That's where they told me I'd find him. I did. But he was more willing to fight with me behind my back than face to face. So I just told him to get off this reservation, and I reckon he has by now.'
Elvira Howard insisted, 'You wound up in Spike's back room with her, for some time.'
Longarm shrugged and explained, 'She was curious about me too. She said she'd been expecting more of the notorious Quirt McQueen. I never asked her who she paid off over here at the fort. So she never told me, if that's what this is all about.'
The plump Elvira paled enough to notice, despite the tricky light, but said, 'I don't know what you're talking about. Are you suggesting those white trash on the far side of Flipper's Ditch pay someone here at this post to look the other way?'
Longarm sighed and said, 'I ain't suggesting nothing, ma'am. I just told you I never asked Miss Spike about purely War Department beeswax. I was sent here to help the B.I.A. and Quanah Parker set up the Indian Police a tad better. Running into those mystery riders your husband is out hunting was extra cheese on my pie plate. I ain't interested in anything else that might be going on in these parts, and as a matter of fact, I'll be on my way before your husband or any other officer Miss Spike might know could possibly get back. I'm only booked into that hostel down the way for one more night, and thanks to you, I'm ahead of the game at the officers' mess. I'll be riding on just after they serve breakfast in the morning.'
She placed a thoughtful hand on his tweed pants and softly asked if he'd like to have breakfast there with her.
Longarm stared at her incredulously in the gathering dusk, gulped, and said, 'it ain't nice to treat animals cruelly, Miss Elvira. You've no idea how tempting that offer sounds, but...'
'Our enlisted help will be leaving for their barracks any minute,' she said, moving her hand up his thigh as she crooned, 'Nobody else need ever know, and we have so much to talk about, Custis.'
He grabbed her soft wrist, wryly aware how it felt when a gal stopped him that way, as he protested, 'I'd know, ma'am, and as fair of face and form as I find you, I don't hold with adulterating married ladies.'
She chuckled and softly sang:
Some folk say I am a knave. Some folk say I can't behave. Now I jack off on her grave, With my old organ- grinder!
Longarm told her flatly, 'I never sang that song to you the other night, Miss Elvira.'
To which she demurely replied, 'I know who you did sing it to. She said you were hung like a horse and energetic but gentle. It's been some time since a man like that rode off on me to get shot off his horse in the hills of Tennessee.'
Longarm could barely see her now as he quietly replied, 'I was at a Tennessee crossroads called Shiloh one time. I'm sorry about your beau getting killed in the war, ma'am. But you did wind up with Colonel Howard, and like I said, I don't mess with married ladies.'
She snapped, 'Who did you think you were with the other night just after the dance at the club, Little Red Riding Hood? She was the wife of the regimental Romeo who got caught with yet another wife just down the hall!'
Longarm had to total the score in his head before he laughed and said, 'You mean that was the poor innocent victim you talked the colonel into posting to Fort Douglas with her rogue of a husband?'
Elvira Howard sniffed, 'My Morgan runs his regiment. I run everything else around here. But Spike told you all this, didn't she?'
Longarm laughed and insisted, 'Honest Injun, she never did. Can't you get it through your pretty head I just don't care about that, ma'am?'
She sniffed, 'I know how pretty my head is. There was a time, before boredom and the sands of time weighed me down a bit. Or might it simply be that you can't afford to be compromised by a woman you may have to testify against in federal court? Our mutual friend on her way west to Fort Douglas said you were hardly this prim with her the other night!'
