SWF Seeks Same

However, other things in Allie’s world were not. Hedra was a comfort when Allie needed her most. Sam was in Chicago, at something called a new-issue seminar, when Allie entered the apartment sobbing without inhibition, seeking shelter and thinking she’d be alone.

But there was Hedra, standing near the door and wearing Allie’s blue coat with the white collar; she was doing temporary office work nearby for an orthopedic surgeon, had come home for lunch, and was about to leave.

When she saw Allie’s agony, the pained look that came over Hedra’s face almost made Allie momentarily forget her own problem and feel sorry for Hedra. Then she realized it was pain reflected—her pain.

Hedra’s hand was on her arm, fingers gently kneading. “So what’s the matter? What’s going on, Allie?” Her voice was throaty, urgent, and weighted with concern.

Allie pulled away from her, from the surprising intensity of her compassion, and was immediately sorry. What the hell was she thinking, drawing back from a friend’s attempt to console her? She paced in front of the window, trying to organize her thoughts, then came back and sat down on the sofa. Listened to the refrigerator droning in the kitchen. Something was vibrating inside it; glass singing on a wire shelf. It was a subtly piercing sound, like an accepted and ignored scream.

“Allie…?”

Allie swiped at a tear on her cheek and said, “Goddamned Mike Mayfair!”

“Mayfair? What happened?”

Allie made an effort to even out her breathing, not look like such a crushed idiot. The universe was still in place, the earth revolving. Talk, she told herself. Talk about this latest kick in the gut and it might not seem so devastating. “He made it clear to me that if my services for Fortune Fashions were to continue, I’d have to supply certain services for him.”

“Huh? Oh, I get it …”

“And Mike Mayfair’s not going to get it. I made a pact with myself when I moved to this shit-hole city. My body, the essential me, wasn’t for sale. I wouldn’t let myself be devoured by what’s outside that window. And, dammit, I still feel that way!”

“Maybe you oughta tell Sam about Mayfair.”

“That’d only cause more trouble, and it wouldn’t really change anything.”

Hedra crossed her arms and studied Allie as if peering through flesh and bone and observing the wheels of her mind, coolly assessing this situation that had broken their lives’ tranquility. It gave Allie an odd feeling, glimpsing this unexpected, calculating side to Hedra. As if the family pet turned out to know how to balance a checkbook. “The company hired you and the job’s not finished,” Hedra said. “So don’t they still need you?”

“Not much. Not at this point. I did too good a job. The systems they need are on line and simple enough so that even Mayfair’s secretary can run and expand the programs. Even Mayfair himself. It’ll take some time, and there’ll be minor fuck-ups, but the truth is they can get along fine without me.”

Hedra bit her lower lip so hard Allie thought blood might appear. Hedra said, “Well, I think it’s … just rotten!”

That made Allie feel better, almost made her smile. Hedra being Hedra again. But it didn’t tell her anything she hadn’t known. Rotten. That was Mayfair, all right.

Hedra stared at the floor and ground her high heel into it, as if trying to bore through wood and plaster to the apartment below. “You were counting on the money from this assignment, weren’t you?”

“Hell, yes. That’s the card Mayfair was trying to play. He was smooth and he made it all seem halfway respectable, but it came down to prostitution and we both knew it. What we were talking about was ass for cash.”

“What’d you tell him?”

“Christ, Hedra!”

“I’m sorry. I meant what’d you say to him?”

“Nothing at all. I simply left.”

“Best thing, maybe.”

“I passed up some solid accounts because the Fortune Fashions job was so lucrative, and now here I sit with empty pockets and empty time.”

“Empty pockets?”

“Well, they’ll be empty soon.”

Hedra gave a careless backhand wave, as if shooing away a mosquito instead of financial devastation. “I can carry us for a while. And Sam’ll help, I’m sure.”

“Yeah, I’m sure, too. If I ask him. But I don’t know if I want that.”

“That isn’t prostitution, Allie. Not with Sam.”

Allie worked her shoes off and let them drop to the floor. One landed on the soft throw rug, the other thunked on wood. “I guess it’s not,” she said. She began massaging her foot. In her anger after leaving Mayfair, she’d walked blocks along Seventh Avenue before hailing a cab; her legs were tired and her feet were sore and felt clumsy and heavy. Her soles tingled as if she’d been marching barefoot on sandpaper. She leaned back and closed her eyes. “God, I really feel shitty, Hedra.”

“Anybody would, after what happened.” There was a hitch in Hedra’s voice; she seemed about to cry. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“I know you don’t,” Allie said, her eyes still closed. “I don’t like it, either.”