disbelief and sought to reach out beyond his own wonder.
When Taran finished, Craddoc seemed about to speak. But he hesitated, then set the crutch under his arm, and rose abruptly, murmuring that he must see to his sheep. As he hobbled out, Gurgi trotted after him to gaze with pleasure at the gentle animals.
The day had grown shadowed. Taran and Fflewddur sat quietly at the table. 'I pity the herdsman as much as I admire him,' Taran said. 'He fought to win one battle only to lose another. His own land is his worst foe now, and little can he do against it.'
'I'm afraid you're right,' agreed the bard. 'If the weeds and brambles press him any closer,' he wryly added, 'he must soon graze his sheep on the turf of his rooftop.'
'I would help him if I could,' Taran replied. 'Alas, he needs more than I can give.'
When the herdsman came back Taran made ready to take his leave. Craddoc, however, urged the companions to stay. Taran hesitated. Though anxious to be gone, he well knew that Fflewddur disliked traveling at night; as for the herdsman, his eyes more than his words bespoke his eagerness, and at last Taran agreed.
Craddoc's provisions being scant, the companions shared out the food from Gurgi's wallet. The herdsman ate silently. When he had done, he cast a few dry, thorny branches on the small fire, watched them flare and crackle, then turned his gaze on Taran.
'A lamb of my flock strayed and was found again,' Craddoc said. 'But another once was lost and never found.' The herdsman spoke slowly and with great effort, as though the words came from his lips at some painful cost. 'Long past, when all had left the valley, my wife urged that we, too, should do the same. She was to bear our child; in this place she saw naught but hardship and desolation, and it was for the sake of our unborn that she pleaded.'
Craddoc bowed his head. 'But this I would not do. As often as she besought me, as often I refused. In time the child was born. Our son. The infant lived; his mother died. My heart broke, for it was as if I myself had slain her.
'Her last wish,' Craddoc said, his voice heavy with grief, 'was that I take the child from here.' His weathered features tightened. 'Even that wish I did not heed. No,' he added, 'to my mind, I had paid in blood, and more than blood, for my freedom. I would not give it up.'
The herdsman was silent a while. Then he said, 'Alone I sought to raise the child. But it was beyond my skill. A sturdy boy he was, yet in less than a year I saw him sicken. Only then did I understand his mother had spoken wisely, and I, like a proud fool, had not listened. At last I was willing to quit this valley.
'Too late was my choice,' Craddoc said. 'I knew the babe could not live out the journey. Nor could he live out another winter here. He was the lamb of my heart, already given to death.
'But on a certain day,' Craddoc went on, 'a wayfarer came by chance to my door. A man of deep knowledge he was and of many secret healing arts. In his hands alone the child could live. This he told me, and I knew he spoke the truth. He pitied the infant and offered to raise him for me. Grateful was I for his kindness as I put the child in his arms.
'He went his way then, and my son with him. No more did I see or hear of either, as the years passed, and often did I fear both had surely perished in the hills. Yet, I still hoped, for the stranger vowed by every oath my son one day would return to me.'
The herdsman looked closely at Taran. 'The name of the wayfarer was Dallben.'
In the fireplace a thorny branch split and crackled. Craddoc said no more, but his eyes never left Taran's face. Fflewddur and Gurgi stared wordlessly. Slowly Taran rose to his feet. He felt himself trembling, for an instant feared his legs would give way under him, and he put a hand to the edge of the trestle table. He could neither think nor speak. He saw only Craddoc silently watching him, and this man he had met as a stranger now seemed a stranger all the more. Taran's lips moved without sound, until at last the words came brokenly and he heard his voice as though it were another's.
'Do you say,' Taran whispered, 'do you say then, you are father to me?'
'The promise has been kept,' Craddoc answered quietly. 'My son has come back.'
Chapter 14
The End of Summer
IT WAS NEAR DAWN. The fire in the hearth had long since burned out. Taran rose silently. He had slept only fitfully, his head crowded with so many thoughts he could not sort one from another: Fflewddur's cry of astonishment, Gurgi's joyful yelps, Craddoc's embrace of welcome to a son he had scarcely seen, and Taran's bewildered embrace to a father he had never known. There had been harp playing and singing. Fflewddur had never been in better voice or spirits, and the herdsman's cottage had surely never rung with so much merriment; yet Taran and Craddoc had been more quiet than gay, as if striving to sense each other's mind and heart. At last, all had slept.
Taran stepped to the door. The sheep were silent in their fold. The mountain air was chill. Dew glistened, a net of cold silver on the sparse pasture, and the stones twinkled like stars fallen to earth. Taran shivered and drew his cloak about him. He stood a while in the dooryard before he sensed he was not alone. Fflewddur moved to join him.
'Couldn't sleep, eh?' Fflewddur said cheerily. 'Neither could I. Too excited. Didn't close my eyes for three winks? ah, yes, well? perhaps a few more than that. Great Belin, but it's been a day and a half! It's not everyone who finds his long-lost father sitting out in the middle of nowhere. Taran, my friend, your search is ended; and ended well. We're spared a journey to the Lake of Llunet? I don't mind telling you I'm just as pleased. Now we must set our plans. I say we should ride north to the Fair Folk realm and get hold of good old Doli; then, on to my kingdom for some feasting and revelry. And I suppose you'll want to sail to Mona and tell Eilonwy the good news. So be it! Now your quest is over, you're free as a bird!'
'Free as the caged eagle that Morda would have made me!' Taran cried. 'This valley will destroy Craddoc if he stays alone even a little longer His burden is too great. I honor him for trying to bear it. Indeed, I honor him for that, and nothing else. His deeds cost my mother her life, and nearly cost me mine. Can any son love such a father? Yet as long as Craddoc lives, I am bound to him by ties of blood? if truly his blood runs in my veins.'
'If?' replied Fflewddur. He frowned and looked closely at Taran. 'You say if, as though you doubted…'
'Craddoc speaks truth when he says he is my father,' Taran answered. 'It is I who do not believe him.'
'How's that again?' asked Fflewddur. 'You know he's your father and doubt it at the same time? Now you really baffle me.'
'Fflewddur, can you not see?' Taran spoke slowly and painfully. 'I don't believe him, because I don't want to believe him. In my heart, secretly, I had always dreamed, even as a child, that? that I might be of noble lineage.'
Fflewddur nodded. 'Yes, I take your meaning.' He sighed. 'Alas, there's no choosing one's kinsmen.'
'Now,' Taran said, 'my dream is no more than a dream, and I must give it up.'
'His tale rings true,' answered the bard. 'But if there's doubt in your heart, what shall you do? Ah, that rascal Kaw! If he were only here we could send him with word to Dallben. But I doubt he'll find us in this dreary wasteland.'
'Wasteland?' said the voice of Craddoc.
The herdsman stood in the doorway. Taran quickly turned, ashamed of his own words and wondering how many of them Craddoc had overheard. But if the man had been there longer than a moment, he gave no sign of it. Instead, his weather-beaten face smiled as he hobbled to the companions. Gurgi followed behind him.
'Wasteland you see it now,' Craddoc said, 'but soon as fair as ever it was.' He set a hand proudly on Taran's shoulder. 'My son and I. We will make it so.'
'I had thought,' Taran began slowly, 'I had hoped you would return with us to Caer Dallben. Coll and Dallben will welcome you. The farm is rich, and can be richer still if you help us with your labor. Here, the land may be worn out past restoring.'
'How then?' Craddoc answered, his features growing stern. 'Leave my land? To be another's servant? Now? When there is hope for us at last?' His eyes filled with pain as he looked at Taran. 'My son,' he said quietly, 'you
