for the police at once. They were apologetic and embarrassed and assured us the city was generally safe, but admitted the chances of recovering any of the stolen goods or the culprit were slim at best.
I was unnerved, more so than my husband, who ushered me back to bed and held me until he fell asleep. I’d been the victim of theft before and knew well how vulnerable the experience would leave me. This was another most unwelcome distraction for a honeymoon. I wanted it all to stop; to have a moment of peace. Feelings of fear and violation kept me awake the remainder of the night, leaving me with nothing to do but pray for respite, repeating my silent words over and over until they were met by the sound of the muezzin singing the morning’s first call to prayer.
Chapter 17
The terse calm of my mother’s letter did nothing to relieve the anxiety that had poured over me after the robbery. If anything, it brought back every fear I’d known since childhood of the subject at hand, and I felt as if I’d been slammed against the steel door of a vault. Inside, of course, unable to unlock it. Colin and I had taken two days of rest—he’d hoped it would calm my nerves. We’d picnicked on the Asian shore, explored the most beautiful mosques in the city, and hired a boat to take us all the way up the Bosphorus to the Black Sea.
My mental condition may have improved, but physically it was becoming more difficult to ignore that something was changing in my body. Dizziness had become my frequent companion, and I’d begun to notice other symptoms as well. All of my maladies might just as easily be explained as the effects of the stress under which I was operating, and I had no evidence that could give me solid confirmation. It was maddening not to be able to know the cause.
“Are you certain you’re ready to get back to it?” Colin asked. He was to call on Sir Richard—whose state of mind had not improved in the least—after walking me to Yıldız. We’d spent the morning wandering the gardens at Topkapı, then gone to the Blue Mosque, and were now making our way across the Hippodrome, where an ancient Egyptian obelisk rose from the site where Romans had raced their chariots. “I don’t want you to push yourself.”
“It’s time,” I said. “Though I shall mourn the loss of my jewelry forever. I’m only glad they didn’t take my ring.” I fingered the band he’d given me when I’d accepted his proposal. Formed in the shape of a reef knot, it was an ancient piece, from the Minoans on Crete, gold inlaid with lapis lazuli. I treasured it more than all the diamonds and precious gems in both our families.
“The only benefit was getting two days of you all to myself. In the previous week I’d spent more time with Margaret than you.”
“Should I be jealous?” I sneaked a sideways glance at him, warming at the sight of his smile.
“Exceedingly. She has proposed that we all run away together and live as nomads. Convinced me that I’d look rather well in the robes of a Bedouin. And, if I recall correctly, you’ve something of a propensity for men in such attire.” It was almost a year ago that an exceedingly charming thief dressed in such an outfit had drugged me. The incident left me embarrassed but unharmed, the recipient of a hazy sort of illicit kiss whose occurrence I’d never admitted to my husband.
“That you would,” I said, feeling an automatic lightness as we began to flirt. “It’s something we ought to make use of after you swim the Bosphorus for me.”
“I’ll swim the Bosphorus, scale the house, climb through your bedroom window, throw you over my shoulder, and take you away to my camp.”
“You’ll need to stow the robes on the terrace. They wouldn’t achieve the proper effect if they were wet.”
“Excellent point.”
“I’m glad you’ve come to terms with the fact that you’re going to lose our bet,” I said. “It speaks highly of your masculine security.”
“Darling girl, I’m humoring you. You’ll be the one in robes—diaphanous, remember?”
“I don’t see why one ought to exclude the other. Can’t you kidnap me regardless of the outcome of our wager?”
“Look how quickly you back down!” he said. “Just a moment ago you were brimming with certainty at the prospect of victory. Now you’re making contingency plans?”
“Don’t be silly. I’ll win. That goes without saying. But now that I’ve got the image of you as a Bedouin in my head, I’ll do whatever I must to ensure the vision becomes reality.”
“I haven’t seen so real a smile on your face in days,” he said. “I’ve missed it.”
“I propose a second wedding trip when we’ve finished here. Three months, at least, somewhere no one will find us and where there’s no possibility of being embroiled in any sort of intrigue beyond that necessary when searching for Bedouin robes in a Western country.”
“Where would you like to go?”
“Surprise me,” I said, meeting his eyes. “I trust you implicitly.”
It had grown later than I’d expected, so we hired a carriage to take us to the docks. My enterprising husband took advantage of the quiet surroundings, and as the door was closed, he distracted me in a most pleasant fashion, thoroughly improving my state of mind, at least superficially. But on occasion, a superficial boost can carry over into something deeper, and in this case, it gave me the confidence to tackle the remaining tasks at hand. We parted company in Pera, heading for our separate appointments.
Roxelana was waiting for me in a courtyard landscaped in the style of an English garden: Rows of neatly trimmed boxwoods lined gravel paths, bright flowers peeking out at intervals. We sat on a stone bench, side by side, in silence. I’d hoped that by waiting for her to speak, she might be persuaded to divulge some pertinent secret. It might have seemed a reasonable strategy, but it accomplished nothing.
“I’m glad to see you,” I said.
“Have I any hope of being freed from this purgatory?”
“Can we talk candidly?” I asked. I’d hoped to discuss Ceyden before turning to this topic, but there was some merit to be had in addressing her concerns first.
“I hope so. ‘Reason in man is rather like God in the world.’ ”
“Aquinas, I assume?” I asked; she nodded. “You may not like what I have to say. I’ve given this no inconsiderable amount of thought, and your options for leaving are limited. If you’re unwilling to consider marrying someone the sultan deems suitable—”
“I will not consider it,” she said.
“I respect your position. But it leaves us only with incredibly risky alternatives.”
