Sirensong

in the leather of his belt showed that he’d had to go down a notch to make it tight enough, and the shirt looked almost baggy on him. I felt my lower lip start to quiver as I thought about how terrible an ordeal he must have been through to lose that much weight in so little time.

Dad pulled me over the threshold and into a hug before I had time to get too maudlin. I hugged him back and tried not to notice that I could feel his ribs.

“I was afraid I’d lost you,” my dad said, his voice all husky like he was about to cry himself. “I was so sure bringing you here was the right thing to do, and I almost got you killed.”

I hated hearing the pain in his voice. I’d have preferred he yell at me, like I’d expected him to. Of course, I was sure the yelling would come eventually. Not that he ever really yelled. Yelling was too undignified. But he could give the softest whisper the same bite as other people could give a full-throttle bellow.

“You had no way of knowing,” I said, surprised that he was still hugging me. Effusive displays of emotion were not his thing.

“I should have known. I should never have risked you.”

“Dad, I’m all right. And you’re smart and all, but I don’t see how you could be expected to know Henry had a Faeriewalker daughter and wanted to eliminate the competition.”

He finally released me from the hug, though he kept his hand on my shoulder as if afraid I’d disappear if he didn’t hold on.

“He told me you’d been caught,” Dad said, his eyes haunted. “He told me they were torturing you for information and there was nothing I could do to save you. I knew he was probably lying, but I couldn’t be sure…”

I assumed “he” was Henry. Somewhere along the line, I’d lost all hint of guilt about killing him. The idea that I’d killed a person still gave me the shivers, but I was glad Henry was dead, and knew that if I had it all to do over again, I’d do the same thing. If there was anyone who needed killing, Henry was it.

“I’m all right, Dad,” I said, though he could see that for himself. “I’m actually more worried about you and Finn. You’ve lost so much weight…” I hadn’t seen Finn yet, although Kimber had assured me he was okay.

Dad sighed, finally letting go of me and moving to a pair of chairs facing an empty fireplace. I followed and sat down, though I watched his face carefully. He’s usually really good at hiding his feelings, but he wasn’t doing such a good job of it today. That told me more than I wanted to know about what he’d been through.

“It was an ordeal,” he admitted, his eyes saying “ordeal” was too mild a term. “I won’t insult you by lying about it.” Was there a hint of reproach in those words? “But I’m not going to give you the details, so don’t ask. We will both recover fully, and that’s all you need to know. You can pester Finn about it tomorrow when we leave, but right now, you have a whole lot of explaining to do.”

And just like that, my dad was back to being himself again, giving me that stern paternal face he had perfected. Usually, I’d either dig in my heels when he looked at me like that, or I’d start feeling guilty, but today I was just glad he was alive and well. And I knew that however mad he might be at me for the chances I had taken, he could never make me genuinely sorry for it.

Epilogue

Thanks to my dad’s skillful use of the standing stones, it took us only three days of easy travel to reach the Avalon border. Titania had offered to send a couple of her Knights with us for security, but my dad had declined the offer. No, I wasn’t what you’d call completely safe. Despite his nasty personality, Henry surely had friends who would hate me forever for killing him, and we had no way of knowing if Mab still wanted me dead or not.

“The extra security would be nice,” my dad told me, “but I suspect the Knights would be there more as spies than protectors, and I’d rather do without.”

When he put it that way, I couldn’t help but agree. Besides, the six of us all by ourselves could travel at a quicker pace than we could if we had another handful of Knights—and their supplies—with us.

That last terrible day in the woods seemed to have changed something between Ethan and Keane. Not that they suddenly liked each other or anything—they still bickered enough to make themselves truly annoying—but I no longer got the feeling they might burst into violence at any moment. Even when Kimber and Keane weren’t as sneaky about stealing kisses as they thought.

When I saw how Keane looked at her when she wasn’t looking, I stopped worrying that he was using her to get to Ethan. Maybe it had started out that way, but it was definitely more than that now.

Everyone was still pretty mad at me for all the secrets I’d kept, particularly Kimber. But I got the feeling it was the kind of mad that would fade away in time. I’d come close to completely destroying our friendship, and I knew it. I couldn’t swear I’d never keep a secret from her again—after all, I was still keeping a secret, enforced by the Erlking’s geis—but I was going to make every effort to be as open with her as humanly possible.

You might think now that I had an arrangement with Titania, my dad would finally ease up on some of the paranoid security measures he’d been taking to keep me protected. Like maybe he would let me live with him in his real, normal house instead of keeping me entombed in my underground safe house. Or that he might decide I no longer needed a bodyguard twenty-four/seven. If you think that, you don’t know my dad.

Sure, I’m in a much safer position than I was before my trip to Faerie. Before going to Faerie, we’d thought both Queens wanted me dead. Maybe Mab still does, but even if Titania might prefer I be dead, she isn’t going to try to arrange it. I pointed out to my dad that everyone now knew how dangerous I was in my own right. At which point my dad pointed out that now that people know about my spell, they’ll be much more able to avoid it. I’ll still always be vulnerable to the surprise attack, or to overwhelming numbers.

Dad has a point, but I can’t help wondering if maybe some of the security stuff is just a way of keeping me from being alone with Ethan. There are times when Dad treats me like he thinks of me as a responsible adult, but as soon as Ethan enters the picture, I become a little girl again. Dad won’t forbid me from seeing Ethan, no matter how little he approves, but he’s going to make damn sure the two of us never have enough privacy for things to go too far. (Dad’s definition of “too far” being anything past first base, as far as I can tell.) Apparently now that I no longer have my agreement with the Erlking forcing me to chastity, my dad is convinced I’ll turn into a sex-crazed teen and let Ethan get away with anything he damn well pleases.

I’d never admit it out loud, but in some ways, I’m glad for my dad’s overprotectiveness. I love Ethan, and I love knowing that I’m no longer under the Erkling’s thumb. I love knowing that when I’m ready, we can go all the way. But I know I’m not ready yet, and as long as my dad doesn’t give us alone time, I don’t have to tell Ethan that.

I’m trying to be more trusting these days, I really am. But it’s not so easy to change who I am at my core. I tell myself that Ethan would be just fine with waiting until I’m ready, and most of the time I actually believe it. But there’s a part of me that fears if I tell him no, he’ll start pushing. Or worse, that he’ll dump me. If this thing between us is ever going to go to the next level, I’m going to have to face that fear eventually. But for the time being, I’m perfectly happy to let my dad’s rules and regulations make it a moot point.

Which brings me to my mom.

I wish I could say I returned home to Avalon to find my mom a changed woman, sober and vowing to stay that way. I wish I could say that our tempestuous parting had finally broken through the walls of denial and shown her that her drinking didn’t only hurt her, it hurt me as well. I wish that fearing she would lose me were enough to give her the will to get her life under control.

Unfortunately, I can’t say any of those things. My mom was living in an apartment my dad had rented for her, seeing as she was too flat broke to afford anything on her own. Dad took me to see her on the very day we made it back from Avalon, but she didn’t answer when we rang the doorbell. Dad wasn’t overly concerned with her right to privacy, so he used his magic to coax the lock open and let us in.

We found my mom on the floor in the bathroom. Taking a shower when you’re too drunk to stand up can be hazardous to your health. My mom had apparently tripped over the edge of the tub trying to get out and had broken her hip. She’d been lying there just over twenty-four hours when my dad and I found her. I shudder to think what might have happened if we’d stayed in Faerie a day or two longer. I don’t think anyone would have found her until