I waited for him to say something. A few minutes went by, and he just remained where he was, silent, his eyes looking off into the middle distance. I found my own way out.
Chapter 20
This time I got to St. Paul's before it closed. I stuffed a tenth of what I'd taken from Lundgren into the poor box. I lit a few candles for various dead people who came to mind. I sat for a while and watched people take their turns in the confessional. I decided that I envied them, but not enough to do anything about it.
I went across the street to Armstrong's and had a plate of beans and sausage, then a drink and a cup of coffee. It was over now, it was all over, and I could drink normally again, never getting drunk, never staying entirely sober. I nodded at people now and then, and some of them nodded back to me. It was Saturday, so Trina was off, but Larry did just as good a job of bringing more coffee and bourbon when my cup was empty.
Most of the time I just let my mind wander, but from time to time I would find myself going over the events since Spinner had walked in and given me his envelope. There were probably ways I could have handled things better. If I'd pushed it a little and taken an interest at the beginning, I might even have been able to keep Spinner alive. But it was over and I was done with it, and I even had some of his money left after what I'd paid to Anita and the churches and various bartenders, and I could relax now.
'This seat taken?'
I hadn't even noticed when she came in. I looked up and there she was. She sat down across from me and took a pack of cigarettes from her bag. She shook a cigarette loose and lit it.
I said, 'You're wearing the white pants suit.'
'That's so you'll be able to recognize me. You sure managed to turn my life inside out, Matt.'
'I guess I did. They're not going to press anything, are they?'
'They couldn't press a pants suit, let alone a charge. Johnny never knew Spinner existed. That should be my biggest headache.'
'You've got other headaches?'
'In a manner of speaking, I just got rid of a headache. It cost me a lot to get rid of him, though.'
'Your husband?'
She nodded. 'He decided without too much trouble that I was a luxury he intended to deny himself. He's getting a divorce. And I am not getting any alimony, because if I give him any trouble he's going to give me ten times as much trouble, and I think he'd probably do it. Not that there wasn't enough shit in the papers already, as far as that goes.'
'I haven't been keeping up with the papers.'
'You've missed some nice stuff.' She drew on her cigarette and blew out a cloud of smoke. 'You really do your drinking in all the class joints, don't you? I tried your hotel but you weren't in, so then I tried Polly's Cage, and they said you came here a lot of the time. I can't imagine why.'
'It suits me.'
She cocked her head, studying me. 'You know something? It does. But me a drink?'
'Sure.'
I got Larry's attention, and she ordered a glass of wine. 'It probably won't be terrific,' she said, 'but at least it's hard for the bartender to fuck it up.' When he brought it she raised her glass to me, and I returned the gesture with my cup.
'Happy days,' she said.
'Happy days.'
'I didn't want him to kill you, Matt.'
'Neither did I.'
'I'm serious. All I wanted was time. I would have handled everything on my own, one way or another. I never called Johnny, you know. How would I have known how to reach him? He called me after he got out of jail. He wanted me to send him some money. He would do that now and then, when he was up against it.
I felt guilty about turning state's evidence that time, even though it had been his idea. But when I had him on the phone I couldn't keep myself from telling him I was in trouble, and that was a mistake. He was more trouble than I was ever in.'
'What was the hold he had on you?'
'I don't know. But he always had it.'
'You fingered me for him. That night at Polly's.'
'He wanted to get a look at you.'
'He got it. Then I set up a meeting with you Wednesday. The cute thing about that was I wanted to tell you you were clear. I thought I already had the killer, and I wanted to let you know the blackmail routine was over and done with.
Instead, you put off the meeting for a day and sent him after me.'
'He was going to talk to you. Scare you off, stall for time, something like that.'
'That's not the way he saw it. You must have figured he'd try what he tried.'
She hesitated for a moment, then let her shoulders drop. 'I knew it was possible. He was… he had a wildness
