Blood Trail

“But without hard evidence we can’t arrest or convict,” Joe said.

Nate shrugged. “It’s not about the how—it’s about the why. And until you can figure out the why, the how doesn’t matter. But when you determine the why, the how evidence you’ve gathered will support it and prop it up.”

Joe shook his head, confused.

Nate turned toward Alisha and arched his eyebrows.

She said, “Shenandoah was—is—my best friend. We’re not blood, but we’re closer than that. We were in cribs next to each other in the nursery at Fremont County General, and we grew up together. She is closer to me than my sisters. Since she’s been back we’ve had some long, intimate talks. What you’re asking me to do now is betray her.”

“I’m not asking that,” Joe said.

“If I talk to you, that’s what I’d be doing,” she said sadly.

Joe looked from Nate to Marybeth and back to Alisha. She looked both beautiful and sad.

“My friend Shenandoah is finally happy in her life,” Alisha said, almost whispering. “She’s a mother and at long last she’s happy and grounded. She loves her family but she has a blind spot when it comes to her husband. Many of us do when it comes to the men we love.” As she said it, she gestured toward Nate, who smiled a tiny smile. She continued, “This may destroy her family. I’m her best friend, and I could destroy her when she’s finally happy. Do you understand? Do you understand what you’re asking me to do?”

Joe grimaced, not sure what to say.

“I’ve only ever seen her this happy when we were playing basketball,” Alisha said, looking at Joe but not really seeing him. “She was so willful and determined. She was so good, and it was not as natural to her as many people thought. She made herself what she was. I was in awe of her. She’d practice by herself on the hoop above her grandfather’s garage until her hands bled from handling the ball. She’d shoot at night, in the snow and wind. She’d even practice when her grandfather and her uncle went hunting and hung antelope and deer from the hoop—she’d dribble around them and pretend the animal carcasses were opposing players. She gave herself confidence and it became grace, and I loved her for that because I learned from her. That’s one thing I fault many of my people on; we don’t give our children confidence. That’s why I’m back, to try to do that for them and help them see. But it was Shenandoah—she showed me how it was done.”

Alisha paused to angrily wipe a tear away, then continued.

“I’m sure you heard that she could have gone anywhere on scholarship, and she could have. And it wasn’t that she was scared like so many people think. It’s that her grandmother really was sick. Her grandmother raised her because Shannon’s mother was a violent alcoholic and her father could have been any one of seven men. Shannon owed her grandmother everything, so she stayed to take care of her because no one else would. I thought it was stupid and wasteful at the time because I didn’t have the right perspective. We all laugh about Indian time, but it can be a noble attribute in a circumstance like that. Shenandoah had only one grandmother and that grandmother had lung cancer. Shenandoah could go to college and leave her sick grandmother to die or she could stay and nurse her. She made the choice to stay because her grandmother had only a couple of years left but Shenandoah had many. Shenandoah put off her own reward to take care of the only woman who’d ever really loved her and encouraged her. What she did was noble, not stupid. How many high-school-age girls can make a sacrifice like that?”

Joe and Marybeth looked at each other. Their girls were upstairs sleeping in their beds. Would Sheridan or Lucy give up their dreams to stay home and take care of a parent? Joe hoped not. But in his heart of hearts, he also hoped so.

“So she stayed,” Alisha said.

“That’s what I’m curious about,” Joe said gently. “How did we go from there to here? When did she meet Klamath Moore?”

Alisha nodded. “I lost track of her for a while. I have to admit that for five or six years after I graduated high school and went to college and then on to my career, I really didn’t want to see her. I was ashamed of her. I heard she got fat and started bouncing from job to job, from man to man after her grandmother died. I am ashamed now that I felt so ashamed then. You know, this is tough for me,” she said, her voice cracking.

Joe heard Marybeth sniff back her own tears.

Nate rose to cross the room to comfort Alisha, but she shook her head at him.

“I’m fine,” she said. “Just let me get through this.”

She turned back to Joe. “Shannon got a little wild for a while there. It happens very easily here, and I hate to say it but there are many people on and off the res who enable and encourage a fall from grace for American Indians. Bigots expect it and it suits the worldview of many liberals. Too many people, both Indians and whites, are more comfortable with an Indian girl who gets fat and fails than one who breaks out and does well. Shannon let herself fall, and she got mixed up with the wrong people for a while. I wasn’t here to help her like I should have been. I was only too happy to use her as an example of victimhood because that served me at the time with my professors. It was only later that I realized the only person I knew who truly thought for herself and did the right thing was Shenandoah. She wasn’t a victim, she was a warrior who did what was right. She used to call me and write me, and I was so wrapped up in myself I let myself lose touch with her. When I abandoned her, she took it hard.”

Alisha paused to fight back another round of tears. Then:

“But she got right again, from what she told me recently. She decided to go to college on her own, even though no one was offering her any scholarships anymore. To make some money to pay tuition she started up a little business where she guided and cooked for hunting parties. She always liked being outdoors. She was really popular with hunters, and she made a lot of money. Guiding and outfitting is really hard work. I know because my father was an outfitter and I used to go with him. But something happened while she was working once, and it knocked her right off the wagon. She said she drifted and did drugs and drank for two years after that before finally getting right again and enrolling at CU in Boulder.”

“Where she met Klamath Moore,” Marybeth said.

Alisha nodded. “Klamath fell hard for her and she fell hard for him. Since they got married, she’s lost a lot of weight and become the Shenandoah I used to know. Especially since she had her baby.”