'I promise,' I said.
'At the end of the play, as Jack is chopping down the beanstalk, I only have to lift this bar--he's spring-loaded, you see, and--'
As he touched one end of it, a little metal bar flew up like a railway signal, and Galligantus tumbled forward, crashing down in front of the cottage, nearly filling the opening of the stage.
'Never fails to get a gasp from out front,' Rupert said. 'Always makes me laugh to hear it. I have to take care, though, that Jack and his poor old mother don't get in his way. Can't have them being smashed by a falling giant.'
Reaching down and seizing Galligantus by the hair, Rupert pulled him upright and locked him back into position.
What bubbled up inexplicably from the bottom of my memory at that moment was a sermon the vicar had preached at the beginning of the year. Part of his text, taken from Genesis, was the phrase
'I'd better be getting back,' I said. 'Thank you for showing me Galligantus.'
Nialla was nowhere in sight, and I had no time to look for her.
'Dear, dear,' the vicar had said. 'I don't know what to tell you to do. Just make yourself generally useful, I expect.'
And so I did. For the next hour, I looked at tickets and ushered people (mostly children) to their seats. I glared at Bobby Broxton and motioned for him to take his feet off the rungs of the chair in front of him.
'It's reserved for me,' I hissed menacingly.
I clambered up onto the kitchen counter and found the second teapot, which had somehow been shoved to the very back of the top shelf, and helped Mrs. Delaney place empty cups and saucers on a tea tray. I even ran up the high street to the post office to swap a ten-pound note for loose change.
'If the vicar needs coins,' said Miss Cool, the postmistress, 'why doesn't he break into those paper collection boxes from the Sunday school? I know the money's for missions, but he could always stuff in banknotes to replace what he's taken. Save him from imposing on His Majesty for pennies, wouldn't it? But then, vicars are not always as practical as you might think, are they, dear?'
By two o'clock, I was completely fagged out.
As I took my seat at last--front row, center--the eager buzz of the audience rose to a climax. We had a full house.
Somewhere backstage, the vicar switched off the house lights, and for a few moments we were left sitting in utter darkness.
I settled back in my chair--and the music began.
* ELEVEN *
IT WAS A LITTLE thing by Mozart: one of those melodies that make you think you've heard it before, even if you haven't.
I could imagine the reels of Rupert's tape machine winding away backstage, the strains of music being summoned up, by magnetism, from the subatomic world of iron oxide. As it had likely been nearly two hundred years since Mozart first heard them in his head, it seemed somehow appropriate that the sounds of the symphony orchestra should be stored in nothing more than particles of rust.
As the curtains opened, I was taken by surprise: Rather than the cottage and the idyllic hills I had been expecting, the stage was now totally black. Rupert had obviously masked the country setting with a dark throw- cloth.
A spotlight faded up, and in the very center of the stage there stood a miniature harpsichord, the ivories of its two keyboards starkly white against the surrounding blackness.
The music faded down, and an expectant hush fell upon the audience. We were all of us leaning forward, anticipating....
A stir at one side of the stage caught our attention, and then a figure strode confidently out towards the harpsichord--it was Mozart!
Dressed in a suit of green silk, with lace at his throat, white knee-stockings, and buckled shoes, he looked as if he had stepped straight through a window from the eighteenth century and into our own. His perfectly powdered white wig framed a pink and insolent face, and he put a hand up to shade his eyes, peering out into the darkness to see who it was that had the audacity to be giggling.
Shaking his head, he went to his instrument, pulled a match from his pocket, and lit the candles: one at each end of the harpsichord's keyboards.
It was an astonishing performance! The audience erupted in applause. Every one of us knew, I think, that we were witnessing the work of a master showman.
The little Mozart seated himself on the spindled chair that stood before the keyboard, raised his hands, as if to begin--then loudly cracked his knuckles.
A great gust of laughter went up from the audience. Rupert must have recorded the close-up sound of a wooden nutcracker cracking walnuts, I thought: It sounded as if the little puppet had crushed every bone in his hands.
And then he began to play, his hands flitting easily over the keys like the shuttles in a loom. The music was the Turkish March: a lilting, driving, lively tune that made me grin.
There's no need to describe it all: From the collapsing chair to the twin keyboards that snapped at the puppet's
