iBoy

He shrugged and carried on staring at the TV screen. I sat there in silence for a while, trying to ignore the fragments of online TV listings in my head that I'm sure could have told me what he was watching, if I'd really wanted to know. But I didn't want to know.

'I'll tell you what,' I said quietly to Ben. 'If you tell me what you did to piss off the Crows, I won't tell anyone about the iPhone.'

'What?' he snapped, suddenly tearing his eyes from the TV.

'You heard me.'

'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Yeah, you do,' I said. 'All I want to know is why the Crows came round here to beat the shit out of you.' I stared at him. 'You tell me that, and I'll keep quiet about you nicking the iPhone.'

Just then, his mum called out from the kitchen. 'Is everything all right in there, Ben?'

'Yeah, Mum,' he called back. 'I'm just talking to Tom. Everything's OK.' He turned back to me, lowering his voice. 'How do you know about the iPhone?'

Because there are hits of it stuck in my brain, I wanted to tell him, that's how. And somehow — in some kind of unreal, unthinkable, unbelievable way — those bits of iPhone are interacting with my brain, giving me access to everything that an iPhone has access to, and more, and that's a whole lot of stuff. And somewhere within all that stuff is a series of codes, or keys — some kind of security data — which in its raw state means absolutely nothing to me, but somehow (again) it's all been filtered/2translated into something that makes sense to me, so I know that the iPhone was never sold, never registered, barely used. I also have access to a crime report and a statement given by the manager of the Carphone Warehouse in the High Street giving details of the theft of an iPhone on 2 March. The description of the thief in the statement is a description of you, Ben. That's how I know that you stole the iPhone, OK?

But, of course, I didn't tell him any of that. Instead, I said, 'It doesn't matter how I know. I just do. And if you want your mum to know too, and the police —'

'My mum?' he sneered. 'You can tell her what you like. I couldn't give a shit.'

'No?' I said. 'So how come you're whispering?'

He glared at me for a moment, trying to look hard and scornful, but I knew it was just a show. All the gang kids round here are scared of their mums. They'll never admit to it, of course, but no matter how old they are, no matter how vicious or streetwise or emotionally dead...they're all just mummy's boys at heart. And Ben was no different.

'So,' I said to him. 'Are you going to tell me what happened? Or do you want me to go and have a word with your mum?'

He shook his head. 'I'm not giving you any names —'

'I didn't ask for any names. I just want to know what happened.'

'All right,' he hissed. 'Just keep your voice down, OK?'

I stared at him. 'I'm still waiting ...'

'Look,' he whispered, 'it wasn't anything to do with the phone, all right? Well, not really ... I mean, I was with some of the FGH when I nicked it, but —'

'The FGH? What were you doing with them?'

'Nothing. Just hanging around, you know ...'

'I thought you were hanging around with the Crows?'

'Well, yeah ... but it started getting a bit heavy with them, you know ...'

'What do you mean?'

He hesitated.

I said, 'What do you mean, Ben?'

He sighed. 'They wanted me to stick this guy, you know, stab him ... I don't know why. He wasn't FGH or anything, he was just some kid ... I think he'd dissed one of the Crows, a guy called ...' He hesitated again. 'Yeah, no ... I can't remember who it was. But anyway, they gave me a knife and told me I had to stab this guy. Not badly or anything, just give him a little dig in the leg, you know... '

'And you refused?'

'Yeah ... I mean, I didn't want to stab anyone, for Christ's sake.' He looked at me, and all at once he wasn't the cold hard streetwise kid he pretended to be any more, he was just the kid he used to be. He sniffed, wiped his nose. 'I told them I wouldn't do it,' he said.

'Is that why they came round here?' I asked him. 'Because you told them you wouldn't do it?'

He nodded.

I could see tears in his eyes now. 'So they came round after school, and you opened the door ...?'

'Yeah,' he mumbled, wiping his eyes. 'I didn't know ... I mean, I didn't have time to think. One of them whacked me in the head as soon as I opened the door, and then they were all just beating on me, kicking the shit out of me ... there were loads of them. I couldn't do anything ... I was just lying on the floor, getting my fucking head kicked in ... I can't even remember most of it. I must have passed out. I didn't even know what they did to Lucy until later ...' He shook his head. 'I didn't know, Tom ... I couldn't do anything to stop them.'

'Yeah,' I said. 'Yeah, I know ... it's not your fault.'

He snorted dismissively.

'You didn't do it, Ben,' I assured him. 'They did. They're the only ones to blame.'

'Yeah, but if it wasn't for me ...'

'You can't think like that.'

'I can't help it.'

'What about the iPhone?' I asked him.

He sniffed hard again, sniffing up snot and tears. 'I don't know ... I think one of them took it out of my pocket after they'd beaten me up ... I can't really remember.' He shrugged. 'I suppose they just chucked it out of the window for a laugh, you know ..He looked at my head wound for the first time. 'I don't know who threw it, Tom.'

'Would you tell me if you did?'

'Probably not. I mean, you know what it's like ...'

'Yeah.'

'It won't do any good.'

'What won't?'

'Trying to find out who did it. It won't make any difference.'

'So I keep hearing.'

'Yeah, well ... it won't.'

I looked at him, my emotions torn between pity and something close to contempt. Despite his stupidity in getting involved with the Crows and the FGH in the first place, it really wasn't his fault that he'd been beaten up and his sister raped. And I could understand perfectly why he didn't want to name names, why he wouldn't even consider seeking punishment for his and Lucy's attackers, but he was wrong about it not making any difference. It might not make any difference in terms of undoing what had happened to him and Lucy, but catching and punish­ing their attackers might just mean that someone else might be saved from the same suffering.

But then, I asked myself, if you feel something close to contempt for Ben because of his refusal to name names, how can you not feel the same about Lucy?

I didn't have an answer.

I said to Ben, 'Are you getting any more trouble from the Crows?'

He shook his head. 'Not really ... just warnings, you know. Keep your mouth shut or else ... that kind of thing.'

'What about the FGH?'

'What about them?'