Black Cathedral

during the past fifty years. The map that showed the straight lines from Kulsay, all the way to Rome, and the Vatican City.

‘And you still won’t join the investigation?’ Jane opened her hands to him in a helpless gesture.

‘I don’t have a choice now, do I?’

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Jane’s mother, Brenda, sat simmering in an armchair, ostensibly reading the Sunday newspaper, but taking in very few of the words. Every time the paper rustled Jane glanced across, ready for the next caustic comment that would surely follow.

Jane was ironing Gemma’s school uniform, attempting normality despite the strained atmosphere. The girls were playing in the garden, seemingly unconcerned that their grandmother had been looking after them for the past few days, and they hadn’t seen their daddy. He had telephoned though; awkward ‘What have you been doing?’ conversations usually associated with occasionally seen aunts.

‘Cup of coffee?’ Jane asked her mother.

The newspaper was immediately lowered. ‘I’ll get it.’

Jane had switched off the iron. David should be here quite soon. ‘No, you’re fine. Read your paper.’

Brenda put the paper on the small table that held her small glass of sherry. ‘I can’t take any of it in. Some government scandal about peerages, rising crime rates; the whole country is fading fast.’

Oh God, Jane thought. Not the ‘like was it in my day’ rant. Not today. It was difficult enough shepherding her feelings about seeing her husband again, without her mother giving her a hard time. Harder time she should say, because since she’d arrived Brenda had wasted no opportunity to let her know what she had done wrong, must have done wrong to let a good man go.

In the kitchen Jane was cut off from conversation, unless her mother chose to follow her, which this time she didn’t. Waiting for the kettle to boil she watched the girls in the garden. Their innocence was so precious and yet she knew that in a few short years they would begin to be embroiled in the responsibilities and pressures that affected everyone.

Stop it, Jane. She remonstrated with herself. Let the children have their special few years of bliss, let them be children for as long as they can. She smiled as she heard their laughter, sweet and high and boundless.

Telling the girls that David was going away for a few days seemed dishonest but was possibly all that was happening. Both Jane and David had spent time away on business so absence wasn’t unusual. What she would say if the days became weeks, became months, became permanent, she didn’t care to think.

It wouldn’t come to that, she told herself. I’ll get this Scottish trip out of the way and then I’ll take some time off; I’m owed some leave. We can all go away, David and the girls, perhaps Spain, somewhere hot where we can relax and rebuild what we had. Once I get back from Kulsay everything will be all right again.

The doorbell rang. Before she had a chance to get more than halfway into the hall the front door was opened and Brenda was welcoming David with luxurious warmth. ‘David, it is good to see you. How have you been?’

David looked well. Jane couldn’t see straightaway what it was but he seemed different. He looked over Brenda’s shoulder as she hugged him and raised his eyes in greeting to Jane. She smiled back and waited for her mother to release him.

Gradually he wrestled his way out of her grip and walked uncertainly to Jane. ‘Hello, Jane.’ He kissed her cheek and she felt as if her heart had been ripped from her chest. The kiss of strangers, affectionate but lacking any passion.

Then she saw what was different about him. New clothes. Smart gray trousers with front pleat, pink shirt, a color that under no circumstances would he wear for her, and casual laceless shoes. He’s got someone else, she thought, and it seemed so obvious that tears welled in her eyes.

David misread the emotion and stepped away from her.

‘You’ve bought some new things,’ Jane said quietly.

David made a deprecating gesture. ‘Most of my stuff is still here. I’ll have to take it soon.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘Not today though.’

Brenda bustled into the kitchen. ‘I’ll pour the coffee.’

‘The girls are in the garden,’ Jane said. ‘We’ve got half an hour yet before church. I’ll bring the coffee outside.’

David went out to see his daughters, and Jane heard the excited squeals and shouts when they saw him. What ever happened between Jane and David, he would always be their father. Jane determined to make that her main priority. Despite that pledge her mind was racing; someone else, someone else…

The day was bright and clear with that warning tint to the sky, that hint that this is a day to savor before the storms come running after you.

Jane took the tray with the coffee cups out into the garden and placed it on the round green trestle table she and David had picked last summer, when things were good. Before the storms came running. Brenda stayed inside, believing the two needed to sort themselves out without her interference. Not that she didn’t believe she couldn’t bring them back together; a few stern words, especially with her daughter, wouldn’t do any harm at all in her opinion.

David looked across at Jane, said a few words to the girls and sat down at the table, leaning forward to lift up his cup. It was then Jane noticed the other thing about him that had changed. He had taken off his wedding ring.

‘Girls,’ she called. ‘Gemma, Amy. Run inside and wash your hands, please. We have to go to church in five minutes.’ She held up her hand with the fingers spread so they could count them and make the association.

‘Is Daddy coming?’ Amy asked.

Jane nodded and David smiled.

The two girls ran into the house hooraying and cheering.

Jane ignored her coffee. ‘Bit soon to remove the ring, isn’t it?’

David began to feign ignorance but realized it was pointless. ‘We’ll need to talk.’

A shiver ran through her that she tried to suppress. This was the end, she knew that now. She stood from her chair and walked back into the house.

Once they were in David’s car the girls carried on a nonstop chatter that under other circumstances Jane would have enjoyed. Her thoughts were a turmoil of anger, sadness and fear.

The car park at the back of St Joseph’s Roman Catholic Church was always full at least twenty minutes before Mass began, so everyone knew to arrive early. David managed to get the last but one space and reversed into it.

Jane had been brought up in the Catholic faith by her mother and had continued it into adulthood, though she didn’t believe she was quite as fanatical as her mother. She said hello to a few people as the family made their way along the aisle to an empty pew. She genuflected to the altar, showed the girls what to do and they all sat, David on the other side of the two girls. He wasn’t a Catholic but had no difficulty with helping Gemma and Amy be brought up in the religion.

As people settled themselves, waiting for the priest to enter, Jane kneeled and said a silent prayer to her God. She prayed for the girls to survive her marriage split, for David to find happiness and for her to have the courage to see it through.

She sat back on her seat and the priest entered, walking along the aisle, Bible in hand, accompanied by the lay preacher, and two young altar servers. One of them was swinging the incense, waves of which filled the air, anointing the congregation, pungent and cloying.

Once on the altar the priest raised his hands in the air. He made the sign of the cross and the congregation