I ’ve seen dead bodies before. I could never get used to that. But what about a coroner or a funeral director? Someone who dealt with dead bodies every day? They must have a cast-iron stomach and nerves of steel. Me? I ended up shaking and thinking I was going to be sick. I suppose I should have put my arm around Sarah and comforted her. Some pretend boyfriend I turned out to be.
So we waited while the police did their investigation. They interviewed each of us separately.
“You broke into the office?”
“Um, the door was open and my friend sort of pushed it.”
“You didn’t notice anything unusual when you entered?”
“Not the first time.”
“You mean you went back a second time?”
“Well, when we saw the feet.”
“The feet?”
“Under the desk.”
I don’t think any of us were really suspects, but they asked us a lot of questions. It wasn’t too bad. We checked with each other afterward and we’d all told the same story. It had happened so fast, we didn’t have time to make one up.
“How bad would things have to be?” James sipped his coffee. The three of us were sitting in the break room, sterile white tiled walls on four sides, and a stainless refrigerator, microwave, and coffee maker.
“Bad.” I couldn’t fathom the feeling. What the hell would cause me to take my own life?
“Ralph was-well, I haven’t been here that long, but he was like the rock. I mean, he loved this place and he loved his job. And I think he had an idea that Sandy might be moving on, so he was in line to take over.” Sarah’s color had come back to her face, and she was on her second cup of high-voltage coffee.
I couldn’t drink the mud brown liquid. My stomach was still churning, and I kept seeing that head covered in blood. “Guys, girls,” Em hated being called a guy, “this man must have had some serious problems.”
“Well, as the song says, suicide is painless.”
I nodded. “Mash. Donald Sutherland, Sally Kellerman, Elliot Gould. Nineteen-”
“Seventy.” James stirred his coffee with his finger. “Before we were born, amigo.”
Sarah looked back and forth at us, trying to figure out where the conversation had gone south. It always did.
A man with graying hair stuck his head in the door. From the shoulders up I could see a loosened tie, a stiff collared shirt, and tanned face with just the slightest hint of a five o’clock shadow. I took a quick guess. Sandler Conroy.
“Sarah. Can I see you for a moment?”
She gave me a quick look, almost like a girlfriend would give her boyfriend before going off with another man. Or maybe it was just my imagination. She stood up and walked out to greet him. We could hear her heels click down the hallway.
We were both quiet for a moment, the only two people in the room. I could hear a very small buzz and traced it to a clock that hung above the sink.
“Skip, we’ve stepped into it before, but-”
“But.”
We didn’t talk for several minutes. James sipped his coffee, and I pretty much stared at the table. I was trying to work out everything that had happened in the last week.
“There’s still a good side to this, my friend.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Look, you’re still making good money. I mean, this shouldn’t shut down the installation. Am I right?”
“You’re right, James.”
“So we’ve got that going for us.”
Us? It was always us. James had been my best friend since grade school and we shared about everything. Even Ginger Stevens in the seventh grade. Of course, I think she pretty much kissed every guy in
7A.
“You think that was her guy?”
“Sandler Conroy? Yeah, I’d bet. He’s got to be a little shook up right now.”
“Yeah. And you?”
“I don’t know what to make of it.”
“Nothing. Don’t make anything of it, pard.”
“This thing with Sarah. I mean, I can get past the part that she’s a high-class hooker, but-”
“No you can’t.”
“You’re right. I can’t. It’s very weird.”
“Very.”
“James, how does a girl, a woman, how does she decide to do that?”
“Skip, let’s say you meet some great looking girl at a bar.”
“I know where this is going.”
“Humor me.”
I humored him too much as it was.
“You buy her a couple of drinks, offer to take her out for a nice dinner, and you end up at your place. Or, her place.”
“It’s still not the same thing, James.”
“It’s a one-night stand, amigo. And you paid for it.”
“But a woman? How does she make the conscious decision to do this for a living?” I just couldn’t picture it.
James cleared his throat and stood up. He walked to the doorway and peered out into the hall. “No one around.” He turned and came back inside, put his hands on the back of his chair and stared intently at me. “This little scenario I cooked up. It was a one-night stand for both of you. She didn’t fall in love with you, you didn’t fall in love with her. It was sex, Skip. Sex.”
“And?”
“And she starts thinking. Maybe there’s more than just a couple of cosmos and a steak dinner in this little game. She gets dollar signs in her eyes, Skip. She thinks, maybe, just maybe, I can fall into a compromising situation and do better than a couple of drinks and dinner.”
“Oh, come on.”
“Come on? That’s the way it happens. You know it does. It’s like the old question, why does a dog lick his privates? Because he can! The woman finally figures out she can make some serious money charging for it. You’re just mad because you can’t do it. Excuse me, compadre, but you are just an ordinary, halfway good-looking guy.” He stepped back from the chair and gave me a hard look. “I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt, amigo. Listen. It ain’t gonna happen for you. But, if you could have one-night stands and get paid five hundred, a thousand dollars, wouldn’t you do it? If you could have sex whenever you wanted and get paid big bucks, you’d do it. We’d all do it. Every man on the planet. What’s the difference, Skip?”
I couldn’t tell him. Because maybe there wasn’t any difference. Except I’d never picked up a girl at a bar, bought her two cosmos, taken her out for an elegant steak dinner, and fallen into bed with her. Nice dream, but it had never happened. Not to me anyway. That never seemed to be the Lord’s or anyone else’s will. But it seemed pretty real to James. Maybe there was something about my friend I didn’t know.
“But this pretend boyfriend stuff. I mean, that’s pretty strange.” It was. I was feeling used, but paid well at the same time. Taking a bonus for being a pretend lover. I had this fleeting thought. Did that make me a male prostitute?
James shook his head and walked to the sink, pouring himself another cup of the bitter brew. “Everything
