The Rogue

His expression became serious. “It is not offered without some conditions, however. You will be required to make the Novices’ Vow again.”

Lilia nodded to show she was willing to do so.

“You will not be allowed to leave the Guild grounds unless given permission by myself, High Lord Balkan, Black Magician Kallen or Black Magician Sonea,” Osen continued. “You will not be allowed to use black magic unless, sometime in the future, the king approves you taking on the position of Black Magician. To identify you as one who knows black magic, your robes will feature a black band on the sleeves.”

Nodding again, Lilia hoped her disappointment didn’t show. Since meeting Anyi and hearing about the threat she and her father were facing from Skellin, Lilia had hoped to find a way to help her. If she was restricted to the Guild grounds, how could she do that?

“Because of the knowledge of black magic that you have, you will not be able to participate in lessons that require the linking of minds. In those situations, Black Magician Kallen or Black Magician Sonea will conduct the lesson.”

She tried not to blanch at the thought of more mental contact with either magician. But having my mind read was very different to the mind to mind lessons I had in the past. Still … I hope Sonea is the one who teaches me. Kallen is so stern and disapproving.

“Kallen has offered to take on your guardianship. We think your having a guardian will reassure people that we have you well in hand.” Osen’s tone was lighter as he said this. “Since we anticipate a protest from parents if you stay in the Novices’ Quarters, you will continue to stay in Black Magician Sonea’s rooms.”

Lilia suppressed a sigh of relief. For a moment she had been worried that she would have to stay with Kallen, but now that she considered it, she knew that it would be considered inappropriate for a young woman to stay in a single man’s rooms, no matter the difference in their ages.

“Do you accept these conditions?” Osen asked.

“I do,” she replied, nodding again.

“Then swear it.”

She paused, realising that he expected her to remember the Novices’ Vow. To her surprise the words came back to her easily.

“I swear that I will never harm another man or woman unless in defence of the Allied Lands,” she said. “I will obey the rules of the Guild. I will obey the order of any magician of the Guild, unless those orders involve breaking a law. I will never use magic unless instructed by a Guild magician.”

Osen smiled approvingly. He turned to nod at Director Jerrik. The man moved back to the chair he had been sitting in and picked something up. Returning, he held it out to Lilia.

It was a bundle of novice’s robes. Gratitude washed over her like a physical wave of warmth. To her embarrassment, she felt tears tickle the corners of her eyes.

“Thank you,” she croaked.

Osen placed a hand on her shoulder briefly. “Welcome back.”

The other magicians murmured the same words. Overcome, Lilia could not speak. She felt Sonea touch her arm.

“That’s it, I think.” She looked at the others, who nodded. “Let’s go back to your room so you can get changed.”

Silently grateful, Lilia let the woman guide her out of the room, and back into a life as a Guild magician. Though knowing black magic means I’ll always be more restricted than most magicians, she thought. That’s a lot better than being locked away. Or dead.

And maybe, somehow, she could still find a way to help Anyi.

As the carriage pulled up outside the hospice side entrance, Sonea pushed aside a nagging reluctance and climbed out. She smiled and nodded at the Healers and helpers who greeted her, answering questions and asking them what she had missed since she’d last been there.

Their friendliness warmed her, and she was grateful all over again that she hadn’t been given the task of executing Naki. She made her way to the treatment-room door, gathered her determination, and knocked.

The door swung inward. Dorrien smiled at her and beckoned. She moved through and sat down.

“Why the serious look?” he asked.

She drew a breath to answer, then her courage faltered. We should chat a little before I deliver the bad news.

“I was wondering how people would react, if I had been chosen to be Naki’s executioner,” she told him.

He gave her a reflective look. “Serious thoughts, indeed.” He looked away as he considered. “I don’t think they would resent you for it.”

“But they would not be able to help thinking about it, when they were around me. They would fear me even more.”

“Fear you? They don’t fear you,” he told her.

She gave him a disbelieving look. He looked back at her, then shook his head.

“They’re intimidated by you, Sonea. That’s different. They’re scared of black magic, but they’re not scared of you. You’ve shown them that it doesn’t make a person into a murderer.”

“I’ve used it to kill,” she pointed out.

He spread his hands. “That’s different, too. It was in the defence of Kyralia. They’d do the same, in the same position.”

She looked away. “I also used Healing to kill. That seems even worse to me.” She looked around the room. “I’m a Healer. I’m supposed to mend people, not kill them. I think that, if I’d had to execute Naki, people would have found it difficult to reconcile the two.”

Dorrien’s jaw hardened. “She learned black magic deliberately, and killed with it for her own benefit.”

Sonea shrugged. “Even so, I think it would have changed the way people thought of me. I never got a chance to choose a discipline. I would have chosen to be a Healer. I work as a Healer, but I can never wear the green robes. I am a Black Magician. While I would not hesitate to defend Kyralia again, that role is not the one I wanted.”

He smiled wryly. “I prefer to think that Healing chose me.”

She nodded. “And I suppose despite everything, it still claimed me, though you were a strong influence behind me wanting it to, too.”

They regarded each other fondly. Perhaps too fondly, in Dorrien’s case. She gathered courage and determination. It’s time I put an end to this.

“Dorrien, I have been thinking a lot about … us.”

“There is no ‘us’, is there?” he said.

She looked at him in surprise. He gave her a wan smile.

“Father came to see me. Gave me the good news. Tylia will join the winter intake of novices. Kallen is probably going to be taking over the search for Skellin. ‘Why don’t you go back to your village?’ he suggested.”

Sonea stared at him. “Kallen is going to be taking over the search for Skellin?”

His eyebrows rose. “You didn’t know? Father didn’t say it was going to happen for certain.”

“No.” She resisted the urge to jump out of her seat and march straight back to Osen’s office. Unless … Rothen may have made this up in order to give Dorrien no excuse to stay in Imardin. But that seems a little extreme. Perhaps … I never told him about Dorrien’s infatuation with me, but has he guessed? She looked back at Dorrien.

He smiled crookedly. “He may be old, but it’s still very difficult to hide secrets from him.”

She shifted in her seat and pushed aside her annoyance. “I only asked him to see if Tylia could join the winter intake.”

“Why?”

She forced herself to meet his eyes. “So you were free to go home, if working with me became unbearable after I told you that … well … there will be no ‘us’.”

He winced. She could tell that he tried not to, but failed. “Why can’t there be?”

“Because you are married. Because while the idea of ‘us’ appeals, it doesn’t appeal enough that I would hurt