Gilded Latten Bones

'You've been telling lots of people to back off. You won't say why. Has even one of them listened? I don't think so. Some maybe try to be less obvious but they're keeping on keeping on. I'll keep on myself till I get my hands on whoever tried to kill my friend.'

Strafa made a hissing sound, trying to caution me.

Rupert reddened till I feared he might have a stroke. He was not accustomed to hearing straight talk.

I said, 'It isn't about you. Or your brother, which is where this must be coming from. None of the people working on rooting out the thread men. . Why did you call them that?'

'Because they're sewn together.'

'Oh. Clever. They aren't so much of a problem. It's the people doing the sewing that we want.'

'It is necessary that those people be left to their peers.'

'The villains who run the Hill? I saw their thugs out there masquerading as Palace Guards. Makes you wonder who's in charge.'

Prince Rupert's eyes bugged. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

Strafa asked, 'You didn't know? You didn't see them?'

I said, 'They blend in like gorillas in skirts.'

'That isn't possible.'

'Talk to your commander. Talk to your top kick. They had to know.'

The Prince got a grip. 'Be that as it may, I have my orders. I will execute them.'

'Even if they're illegal? You're the great champion of the rule of law.'

'The Crown is the law, Mr. Garrett.'

'I don't think so.'

Strafa said, 'Garrett!'

'Even an ignorant peasant like me knows divine right don't click anymore. If your brother starts thinking he can make up laws as he goes along he won't get to make very many. Add up how many kings we've had in our lifetimes. You might have to take off a shoe to count them all.'

Strafa said, 'Garrett, that's enough.'

Prince Rupert was furious. I, being tired and twisted, was reverting to contrary Garrett. I saw me doing it but could not engage the governor on my jaw.

Singe arrived with the tea that Dollar Dan had gone to get. There were some yesterday biscuits and hard- boiled eggs. 'Please pardon Mr. Garrett, Your Grace. He suffers from a congenital defect that makes him say stupid things when he is awake.' She deposited the tray on a folding table beside Prince Rupert, then faced me. 'You. Come with me.' Over her shoulder, 'If you will excuse us for a moment, Your Grace?'

We crossed the hallway to the Dead Man's room. I spotted the Bird snoring on the floor in a corner. I had thought he had left a long time ago.

'What the hell is the matter with you? That's the godsdamned Crown Prince of Karenta in there. You're acting like he is. . Like he is another Bird.' She waved a paw. 'Don't you have the sense the gods gave a drunken goose? Are you bucking for a career in swamp drainage?'

'If I could get a word. .'

'You don't need to get a word in. It will be some godsdamned absurd excuse. I have heard you state that excuses are like assholes. Everyone has one, and they all stink.'

'I. .'

'Grow up, Garrett.'

'But. .'

'Ten years ago. . Five years ago you could indulge in all this obnoxious, stupid shit you wanted. It did not matter. No one but you got pounded over the head. You do not have that luxury anymore. Making yourself feel big by being a dick toward people in authority is no longer an option.'

Wow! Singe was well and thoroughly pissed off. And she was just getting warmed up.

'Go back in there. Go on being a jerk. But before you start, tell me what will come of it after you get your moment of strutting around congratulating yourself on how you showed somebody?'

'All right, Singe. I get it. I'll jump in there and kiss his ass and lick his boots and beg him to use a little lard when he bends me over.'

She slapped me.

That stunned me silent.

Her arms were not long enough to let her get a good windup but the impact stung plenty anyway.

My little girl was seriously upset. I might want to invest a few seconds in trying to work out why.

I had told Prince Rupert that things were not all about him. I suppose Singe wanted me to recognize that they were not all about me, either.

That unhappy man across the hall had the power to make me and everyone I ever met extremely unhappy. And he was just one breath away from having the power to make that unhappiness eternal.

Rupert might be a fool but he was not just some passing moron that I could sneer at and disdain to his face.

'I get what you want me to see, Singe.' But I couldn't surrender completely. 'I'll go kiss the idiot and make it better.'

The way Singe moved then, I feared she might be looking for a club big enough to pound me into a shape she found acceptable.

95

'I want to apologize for my antagonistic attitude, Your Grace. I have been under a great deal of stress. I shall do my best to defer to your wisdom henceforth-except in the matter of going to work for you, which you should not view as any reflection upon yourself.'

Singe showed me her teeth. That was not good enough, apparently.

Other than being renown for having promulgated his First Law, Morley might be most famous for having observed that the world would be a better place if we just had sense enough to kill the right people.

I don't disagree-so long as I get to make the list.

Prince Rupert was determined to become a featured name.

He said, 'I expect some social gaps are too broad to bridge even with the best intentions.'

I started to open my mouth. Singe lifted a knickknack off her desk and wound up.

I said, 'That's true. Before you leave, couldn't you indulge us with just a hint as to why General Block and Director Relway can't pursue the mission. .'

'Stop. There are times. . There are special circumstances. .'

Perhaps. But he, Block, and Relway had been savagely diligent about crushing that justification. Till now. 'If you want to change the rules suddenly you need to support it with something more than, 'Because I said so.' Because that is total bullshit. Which you have said a hundred times yourself.'

'My brother needs it. He'll die otherwise. I don't want to be King.'

What the hell was that?

Singe had that bookend thing in hand again.

Rupert sputtered some, then said, 'Even more, I don't want my brother Eugene or nephew Kansa to be king. Either would be a disaster. As has been this visit. I must go.'

I escorted him to the door. Before I could shut it behind him, he told me, 'Stay away from this, Garrett.' His tone said he didn't hold out much hope that he would get his way.

I told Singe and Strafa, 'There's a political angle after all.'

Strafa said, 'It's one that turned up, for Rupert, only in the last few days.'

'I'll buy that. We have a little night left. I'm going to go catch a nap. Singe. No luck with the Dead Man?'

'Not yet. That last incident really wasted him.'