spreading Cistercian principles. Abelard, for his part, refused to look forwards. He insisted on dwelling in the present as if he had no past and no future. Bernard let him be. There was no profit in insisting on candour from this pitiful soul.
One morning, some distance from the abbey on a favourite high outlook over the river, they stopped to take in the view. Both men sat on rocks and fell silent. The first warmth of spring and the first petals of the season combined to make heady fragrance. Abelard suddenly said, ‘You know of my past, do you not, Bernard?’
‘I know of it.’
‘Then you know of Heloise.’
‘I know of her.’
‘I would like you to know her better, for if you know her, you will know me better.’
Bernard gave him a look of non-comprehension.
Abelard reached into his habit and pulled out a folded parchment. ‘A letter from her. You would honour me to read it and give me your thoughts. She would not object.’
Bernard began to study it, hardly believing it was the product of an eighteen-year-old woman. It was a love letter, not low in any way, but lofty and pure. He was moved by the melody of her words and the passion in her heart. He had to stop after some minutes to clear a tear from his eye.
‘Tell me what passage is that?’ Abelard asked.
Bernard read it aloud. ‘These cloisters owe nothing to public charities; our walls were not raised by the usuries of publicans, nor their foundations laid in base extortion. The God whom we serve sees nothing but innocent riches and harmless votaries whom you have placed here. Whatever this young vineyard is, is owing only to you, and it is your part to employ your whole care to cultivate and improve it; this ought to be one of the principal affairs of your life. Though our holy renunciation, our vows and our manner of life seem to secure us from all temptation.’
Abelard nodded sadly. ‘Yes, please finish it.’
When he was done, Bernard folded it and returned the letter. ‘She is a remarkable woman.’
‘Thank you. Though we are married, she can no longer be my wife. I am dead inside, the joy for ever gone. Nevertheless, I aim to dedicate the remainder of my life to her and to God. I will live as a simple monk. She will live as a simple nun. We will be as brother and sister in Christ. Though I will live with the perpetual misery of my fate, through our love of God we will be able to love each other.’
Bernard touched the man’s knee. ‘Come, brother. It’s a fine day. Let’s walk further.’
They wandered downstream, the river far below. The summer had seen heavy rains and run-off from the banks turned the river muddy-brown and turbulent, but on their wide ledge the ground was dry and firm. Their sandals snapped against their heels with each step. They approached the furthest point along the cliffs they had ever travelled but the weather was perfect and both of them had the energy to carry on. There was no need for talk; competing with the sounds of the wind rustling through the foliage would have been a shame. High on the cliffs they felt privileged to be in the realm of the hawk, the realm of God.
In time, Bernard said. ‘Look! Let’s rest here.’
On a wide ledge with a marvellous view over the valley, there was a gnarled old juniper tree seemingly growing out of the rocks. Its twisted branches provided a zone of cool shade. They sat, resting their backs against the rough trunk and continued to revel in silence.
‘Shall we go back?’ Abelard asked after a spell.
Bernard stood up and surveyed the path forward, shielding his eyes from the sun, searching the top of the cliffs. ‘I have a notion that it may be possible to return to the abbey by continuing on, finding a gentle climb to the top and walking through the meadows to the north of the church. Are you feeling fit enough?’
Abelard smiled. ‘Not as fit as you, brother, but adequate for the enterprise.’
The path forward was somewhat more difficult and their sweaty feet started slipping on the soles of their sandals. Just as Bernard was doubting the wisdom of proceeding, they heard a wonderful splashing sound. Around the next bend was a small waterfall, the sunlight making it sparkle like a ribbon of gemstones. The water lashed the ledge and cascaded over the cliffs.
They thirstily cupped handfuls of pure cold water into their mouths and decided it was perhaps a sign the way forward was propitious.
The going was slow and the ledge a bit treacherous but they were committed to finding their shortcut and both were silently glad their bodies were up for the task. Months earlier, they had been so feeble they could hardly rise from their beds. They were thankful and trudged on.
A second waterfall graced their path allowing them to drink their fill again. Bernard wiped his hands dry on his habit and craned his neck. ‘Just there,’ he pointed. ‘If we go a little further I believe that is a place we can safely climb to the top.’
At the chosen spot, Bernard put hands to his hips and asked Abelard if he was prepared for the ascent.
‘I am ready, though it does seem a long way up.’
‘Don’t worry. God will keep us attached to the firmament,’ Bernard said cheerfully.
‘If one of us is to fly, pray it be me, not you,’ Abelard replied.
Bernard led the way, searching for a route that best approximated a stairway. Sweating heavily, his chest heaving from exertion, he pulled himself up to the next level and stopped dead in his tracks. ‘Abelard!’ he cried. ‘Take care on that loose rock there but come! There is something marvellous!’
There was a gaping hole in the cliff face, as wide as a man’s bed, as tall as a child.
Bernard extended a hand to help the older man up. ‘A cave!’ Abelard exclaimed, gulping air.
‘Let us have a look at it,’ Bernard said excitedly. ‘At least it will cool us down.’
Without fire, they had to rely on sunshine to see anything within the vault. A yellow glow extended only a few feet before tapering into blackness. After crawling inside they found they were able to stand easily. Bernard took a few tentative steps forward and saw something at the edge of the light. ‘My God, Abelard! See there? There are frescoes!’
Running horses.
Charging bison.
The head of a huge black bull overhead.
The creatures disappeared into the darkness.
‘A painter has been here,’ Abelard sputtered.
‘A genius,’ Bernard agreed. ‘But who?’
‘Do you think it is from antiquity?’ Abelard asked.
‘Perhaps but I cannot say.’
‘The Romans were here in Gaul.’
‘Yes, but these do not appear as any Roman statue or mosaic I have ever seen,’ Bernard said. He looked out over the valley. ‘Whatever its age, it is a spot of majesty. The artist could not have found a better tablet to paint upon. We must return with illumination to see what lies deeper.’ He clapped his hands on Abelard’s shoulders. ‘Come my friend. What a marvellous day this has been. Let us get back to the abbey for mass.’
Bernard encouraged Barthomieu to return to the cave with he and Abelard, and in turn, Barthomieu recruited Brother Jean who was learned about and fascinated by the natural world. The four men set off from the abbey in the morning after the Terce service. They aimed to return by the Sext service at noon. They would have to hurry, but if they missed Sext, they would do penance. The world would not end. If Bernard had been the abbot at Ruac, attitudes would not be so lax, but that bright day he felt more explorer than cleric.
The men arrived at the cave by mid-morning, with the giddiness of boys on a lark. Barthomieu was buoyed by his brother’s improved vigour and good cheer. Jean, a tubby, good-natured healer, the oldest of the group by a few years, was eager to see these frescoes for himself. Bernard and Abelard for their part, happily nurtured their growing bond.
They brought good torches with them, lengths of larch with ends wrapped in fatted rags. On the ledge below the cave, Jean knelt down, not to pray but to open his pouch of fire-making materials: a flint, an iron cylinder which was the broken shaft of an old abbey key and some powdery linen char cloth, prepared and dried in his own special way.
He worked fast, sparking the iron on the flint and had the kindling going in moments. After his torch was lit, the others set theirs blazing too. Soon, four men were standing in the mouth of the cave, hoisting burning torches,
