Jan

hole he's dug himself into.' She grinned at me, and stood up; he tried to bluster that we couldn't leave – I just turned and looked at him, saying 'Unless you're prepared to use force, which I doubt even you are stupid enough to try, you cannot stop us. Make your call – we'll be outside when you're done.'

We went out, and took seats in the anteroom to his office. His secretary looked at us as though we'd declared ourselves to be Wiccans.

A few minutes later, a very pale, very shaken administrator invited us back into his office. We took seats in front of his desk, and he opened the conversation.

'It seems that there's been a mistake made.'

'Yes, and you made it.', I replied.

'Er, ah, yes, well, the schools lawyers have informed me that what you said is correct – and I've found that there is a copy of the appropriate paperwork in Kelly's file.'

'So you were too stupid to even check what she was telling you. Hardly a surprise.' It was fun putting the spurs to this toad.

'Yes, well, with Kelly being responsible for herself, I don't believe that there is any reason for you to inconvenience yourself here any longer, Mr. Marshall.'

'Oh, it's not an inconvenience. Besides, I've been around longer, as you can see, and I already have a reason to stay, whether it was convenient, or not.'

'And what would that be?'

'To ensure that you don't bully her into doing something she doesn't want to do, for starters. And to ensure that she has adequate counsel available to her, for another – if you think I'd leave her alone in this room with you, you're grossly mistaken.'

'Surely, you aren't suggesting that I would have any kind of improper contact with a student of this school!', he said, puffing himself up.

'Not at all – Frankly, I doubt you've got the balls to even think it, much less try it. No, I simply wouldn't trust you not to use your position and ostensible authority to either bully her into something, or deny her a right or privilege – or perhaps even both.'

Realizing that I didn't intimidate worth a damn, he gave up that tack, and demanded 'Then why do you remain?'

'As counsel to Kelly, or if she wishes, to act and speak on her behalf – independent of any legal or civil actions she may elect to pursue regarding your previous efforts to deny her her civil and legal rights.'

'Now, now, there's no need for any legal action; that was just a misunderstanding.'

'No, it was your stupidity and arrogance.', I told him. I don't tolerate bullshit well. 'Now, what is the basis for your demand that she change her speech?'

'I did not find it to be appropriate for our school.' He turned to Kelly, and asked 'Are you sure you don't want to talk to me?'

Kelly just told him 'Not a chance, pipsqueak. Talk to him about the speech, while I decide if I want to sue your ass, or not!'.

He got a very pained expression on his face, and turned back to me.

'So you chose to tell her that her speech was inappropriate because YOU decided you didn't like it?'

'Yes', he said, primly.

'And what is the basis for that decision – that is, what are the guidelines for appropriateness? Where are they written down? When and how are they made available to the student? How long have these guidelines been in effect?'

He sat there, looking at me blankly, for several seconds before admitting 'We, er, don't have written guidelines.'

'I see – you have no written guidelines. Let me guess – you never gave Kelly any guidance or instruction on what you thought was 'appropriate'.'

'Well, er, no, I didn't.'

'So she had no prior idea of what was acceptable to you. With no direction from you, how is it, then, that the students are to know what subjects are allowed, and which aren't?'

'This situation has never come up before.'

'Indeed? That would hardly be something to brag about, sir, if your intentions in running this school were honorable. Clearly, they aren't – otherwise, you would have been teaching these kids to think for themselves, independently; and situations such as this would have come up sooner. None the less, I don't see how or where you feel that you have the power or authority to deny her the right to give the speech she prepared.'

He puffed himself up again, and tried to threaten us, saying 'It is well within my power to remove her as Valedictorian!'

'And if you do, I will make it my personal crusade to not only run you out of this school, but out of the entire field of education – after I sue you, this school, and the diocese. By the time I'm done with you, you won't be able to get a school job as a custodian!'

He paled, and said 'You wouldn't dare – you'd lose in court!'

He went absolutely white when I gave him my best Godzilla-eyeing-Bambi smile, and said 'Fine. Call the Bishop, and lets get him in on this as a conference call. Do it now, or I walk out of here and go straight to my lawyer's office.'

His hands trembled as he picked up the phone, and he had to dial the number twice before getting it right. He told them who he was, and that he needed to talk to the Bishop – now. A few seconds later, he was telling the Bishop that he had a problem, that someone was threatening to sue, and wanted him to listen in. He listened for a moment, and put the phone on speakerphone.

'This is Bishop Ferguson. Who am I speaking to, please?'

'Yes, Bishop, my name is Dan Marshall. There seems to be a problem with the pompous twit you have running this school, and I've decided that it's not worthwhile to put up with his foolish arrogance any longer.'

'What is the problem?'

'It seems that Mr. Jenkins has taken it upon himself to screen Valedictorian speeches before allowing the students to give them.'

'That is his job, sir.'

'And I recognize that duty – but for him to do so entirely without oversight, using only his own opinions as a standard, could hardly be considered proper, I would think. Nor do I consider it appropriate for him to do so without providing any guidelines – either verbal or in writing – to the students involved.'

'Is this correct, Mr. Jenkins?'

'Er, yes, sir, but…'

'That's enough. We'll discuss this later. What else is happening, Mr.

Marshall, that would cause you to threaten legal action?'

'Mr. Jenkins also took it upon himself to try and deal with this matter with a manumitted student of your school – essentially, denying her her legal right, as an adult before the law, to act on her own behalf. I came here only after he insisted that she call – and I quote – a 'responsible adult' to represent her. I believe that such actions would constitute a violation of her civil rights – something that may well leave this school open to civil and criminal action.'

'Indeed, it may. But why would YOU threaten to sue?'

'I have told Mr. Jenkins that since he provided no instruction or direction, I do not see how he has any authority to deny the young lady involved the right to make her speech, as written. His response was to threaten to remove her as Valedictorian. It was at that point that I said that I would sue him, the school, and the diocese, if he did.'

'You understand, of course, Mr. Marshall, that suing us would be a lengthy, costly process.'

'Indeed – one that I would cheerfully devote time and money to, even as I took every opportunity to paint a picture of the Pope, and entire Catholic church, running roughshod over the rights of a single, attractive female student of this premier private school; who was declared Valedictorian, and then had that honor forcibly removed after she wrote a heartfelt speech to her fellow graduates.'

'But neither the Pope, nor the Church, have any interest in the speech of a single student in a single school.'