'Um, one sorta got a rib broken, and the other just had the wind knocked out of him.'
'*Sorta* got a rib broken. Christ on a crutch, I'm gonna lose everything.'
'I don't think so, Paul.'
'Why not, oh great one?'
'Well, it turns out that Susan's dad is some lawyer, and when he found out what happened and called Saturday, he offered to take care of any legal problems that might come up. Seemed right happy I was there.'
'Uh, huh. Told you over the phone he was a lawyer, and promised you legal defense. Yeah, and I'm the tooth fairy.'
'Better get your tights out, there, bubba. I got a letter from him today, thanking me again, and repeating the offer of legal representation.' That threw him for a minute.
'Who is he again?'
I admitted that I didn't know the last name, so he got it from Jan, who discretely hung around to see what was going on. When he found out Susan's last name, he seemed to relax quite a bit, saying, 'Yeah, I've heard of him. One tough son of a bitch, but honest and fair to a fault.
If he said it, he'll do it. Okay, so maybe I'm not going to lose my ass on this. But dammit, you still should have said something!'
'What for? It was over, what was done was done, and there wasn't a damn thing you could have done anyway. Why bother you with it unless and until there was something that really needed your attention?'
'Asshole. Think you're pretty smart, huh?'
'Well, yeah, mostly. You usually do, too, if I recall correctly.'
That got him laughing a bit, and he said, 'Yeah, dammit, you are, and I do.'
'How did you find out, anyway?'
'Mrs. Johnson next door saw me outside, and came over to talk about it.'
'Ah. You got it from the neighborhood gossip – the same lady you call a 'nosy old biddy that nobody should listen to' every time you mention her name. Nice consistency, there, shipdit.'
That got him laughing even more, and he told me 'Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do as I say, not as I do. Okay, fine, you're forgiven. But you're still an asshole.'
'Hmmmph. Been called worse, by a nicer class of people, so I guess I can live with it.'
'At least I know the answer to one thing, now.'
'What's that?'
'I've always kinda wondered what you would do if someone ever tried hurt one of the kids somehow.'
'Well, now I guess you know the answer.'
'That I do. If you do that for one of Jan's friends, I pity the poor fucker that tries something with one of mine while YOU'RE around.
Cops'll probably have to take him to the station in a sponge.'
'Nah. They'll still be able to use a Baggie. A small one.'
When he looked at me again, I could see that he wasn't mad, any more -in fact, I saw gratefulness and a confidence that I had never seen before.
He said, 'C'mon, asshole, I'll buy you a beer.'
'Sold!' – and with that, we headed to the kitchen.
As it turned out, I was wrong about one thing. Even though Phil's parents never uttered a peep, his buddies' parents got their stupid asses worked up, and started making noises about suing anybody and everybody – the following Monday. Susan's dad heard about it without me even calling him, and made it known that HE would be representing anyone these folks sued, along with pointing out the rather spotty character and history of the two. After that, nothing more was said – or needed to be.
When he got out of the hospital, Phil found himself in a treatment center, and when he cleared that hurdle, was enrolled in a completely different school, far away from Jan and her friends. The other two got back into school, but found themselves under close supervision for a long, long time.
The only bad thing to come out of it was some reporter decided the story needed to be told, and I wound up with my face plastered on TV one night, and in the paper the next day. It was weeks before people I didn't know quit congratulating me, and thanking me.
As Spring continued, Paul didn't have to go out on as many trips, but the ones he went on lasted a bit longer. Sometimes, they even clashed with holidays, as happened in the case of Memorial Day.
Jan had gotten permission from Paul to have Kelly over for the entire weekend, subject to her good behavior and my approval, which I readily granted. Kelly's parents had initially questioned it, but Jan and Kelly had gotten them to call me, and after I talked with them, they agreed, as well. Kelly told me later that what finally convinced them was the realization that she was as safe – if not safer – with me around than anywhere else, after they'd been reminded of the Phil situation.
Paul had left Friday morning for his trip; Kelly was going to come home with Jan and the boys, and stay until Monday morning at the latest. That meant that I had a normal workday, at least until it was time to pick everyone up from school.
Being a Catholic school, there were the obligatory uniforms – Leo and John in dark pants and white shirts, the girls in plaid skirts and white blouses. We got everyone got loaded into my Volvo; Leo and John didn't hesitate about heading for the back seat. Jan and Kelly paused for a bit, talking, before Jan got in the back to sit between Leo and John (apparently to stave off a complaint about one of them not getting a window), which left Kelly to sit in front with me. I was mildly surprised, but didn't think anything of it – until we got on the road, and I noticed Kelly kept looking at me, only to avert her eyes when I looked at HER. Then, while checking the rearview mirror, I noticed that Jan was watching both of us. Alarm bells started going off in my head, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what was going on. So, I just went to a higher mental DefCon, and acted like I didn't notice anything happening.
It was only about 4:00 PM when we got back to Paul's place, and they all headed to the appropriate bedroom to change clothes. Surprisingly, the girls came out first, and joined me in the den, where I was seated on the couch, watching late afternoon TV. They parked themselves on the fireplace hearth, and were whispering back and forth when the boys came roaring in to see if it was okay for them to go to the park and kick a soccer ball around. I okayed it, and they were off.
With them gone, Jan felt it was okay to bring up whatever it was that had been on her mind. Kelly was alternating between studying me, and her knees.
'Uncle Dan?'
'Yes, Jan?'
'I've got a favor to ask.'
Danger! Danger! I instantly went to DefCon-1, and asked, 'What's that?'
'Um, you know how you, uh, helped me, you know, that first time?'
Was that a General Quarters alarm I was hearing?
'Ye-e-e-e-e-s.'
'Well, I was, uh, hoping that you could, um, you know, help Kelly, too.'
Nope, That wasn't a GQ alarm, that was the sound of multiple nuclear detonations. I might as well put my head between my knees now, so I can kiss my ass goodbye.
Jan could see that I really couldn't think of anything to say, so continued with 'I know that I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, and all that, but Kelly' – who was now openly staring at me with obvious fear of rejection in her face – 'is kind of having the same problem I was.
Before I ever told her anything, I made her promise not to tell anyone about it, EVER. I told you before that she's been my best friend since we were like, five years old, and I know that I can trust her – the same way I trust you.' – that last part definitely got my attention – I knew that Jan was trying to tell me that I could trust Kelly as much as I trusted her.
'Jan – and Kelly – you know that you're asking a lot from me.' – Kelly's face fell; I could see in her eyes that she thought I was rejecting her – 'NOT that Kelly isn't pretty – Kelly, I promise, you're definitely pretty! – but because of all the trouble that might happen. And I don't want you to think that I think I'm irresistible or anything, Jan, but what happens if Kelly decides she likes me as much as you do?'