'Isn't that the way people are supposed to be?'
'Yeah, but it never happens that way. Mostly, they're just trying to find a way to use each other – for their jobs, for sex, for money, or whatever else they're after. Why aren't you like that?'
'Damned if I know. About the only thing I can figure is that I'm just not willing to settle for anything less. I can't change the world, at least not all at once, but I can try to change ME, and maybe even some of the people that I come into contact with. Maybe not a lot, but a little; and with a little luck and enough time, maybe it will be enough to make a bigger change.'
'What are you, some kind of saint, or something?'
'Not likely. When I was your age, I got into enough trouble for any 3 people. Then I went into the Navy to get away from home, and they helped me start getting my head on straight. Nothing like working on airplanes, where people's lives are literally in your hands to give you a sense of perspective – and doing it RIGHT to give you confidence and self-respect. Traveling around in Asia, I got the chance to see what other countries and people and cultures are like, and that got me interested in the how and why of it – and that got me interested in learning what I could about, of all things, philosophy.'
'I thought philosophy was just people talking about stuff that didn't matter to anybody.'
'Sadly, that's true in a lot of cases. But if you take the time to learn
'You mean like religion?'
'No, religion is a special case. Religion is kind of like fill-in-the-blanks philosophy: rather than helping you find answers for yourself, religion offers you an answer – whether it's really right, or not.'
'How do you mean?'
'Well, you know about the Ten Commandments, right? Well, they are a specific religious application of the philosophic fields of ethics and morals. Except that the religious versions are usually geared toward keeping some kind of control over people – usually by the religious leaders – than finding ways for people to solve THEIR problems.'
'For instance?'
'For instance, whichever commandment it is that says to honor thy father and thy mother. They tell you to do it, but without saying WHY; and if you don't do it, they try to make you feel guilty about something, and control you through your guilt – whether or not that guilt is actually deserved.'
'Like how?'
'Well, take you, for example. From what you've told me, your parents don't pay much attention to you, and don't much seem to care what happens to you. So exactly why should you honor them? Respect them, sure, but HONOR them? For what? Why should you honor somebody that doesn't appear to give a happy damn what happens to you, good or bad?
Why should you be punished or feel guilty about not honoring someone like that?'
'It sounds like you're saying that they have to earn my honor, somehow.'
'Don't they? Would you give your money to anybody on the street that walked up and asked you for it? No? Then why should you give something far more personal and intimate to the emotional equivalent of a stranger, even if they are related to you?'
'What about love?'
'What about it?'
'You say that you love me. Why?'
'Simple. Because you have value to me.'
'What, I'm something you can buy or sell?'
'No, I didn't say that. I said that you have value to me, not that you were valuable to me.'
'What's the difference?'
'If you were valuable to me, that would me that I could use you for some gain of my own, either financial or sexual or whatever, at no cost to myself. But to have value TO me, it means that there are things about you that, if lost, would cost me something, as a person.'
'Such as?'
'Such as your intelligence. To see a mind as good as yours is a pleasure to me, because I see so few of them, and it sometimes gets tiring not being able to speak as freely as I can with you. Such as your self-respect, because it's so rare. Such as your independence, because that's even rarer. You are of value to me – I love you – because of the best that is inside you, pretty much the same as you love me – I am of value to you – because of the best that's within me.'
'So love is a kind of trading?'
'At its most basic and fundamental level, it IS trading. The trading of one's best values for the best values of another, freely, as equals, value for value. That's why Susan wasn't willing to stay Phil's girlfriend: there wasn't love involved. She offered her best, and Phil offered his best, and because the values involved weren't equal, she felt cheated after a fashion, and withdrew her love. The value he offered her – the content of his mind and character – his love – was worth far less than the love – her character and values – she was offering. To continue such an unequal trade is to commit suicide, either emotionally or spiritually or mentally; Susan simply has too much self- respect – self-value – to do that.'
After a bit, she asked me 'Then how does sex fit into it? Jan told me that you said having sex and making love were different.'
'As far as I'm concerned, they are. 'Making love' is the physical equivalent of the spiritual love I just described. Having sex is the physical act, but without emotional attachment involved in making love.
Last night, when we were kissing, that was 'making love' on a small scale, because we truly cared for each other. Kissing, without that bond, is only having sex, on an equally small scale. Get it?'
With that, I saw a light come on in her eyes – that sensation almost everyone has when something that's been bothering them suddenly becomes clear, and they really, truly understand it, fully and completely.
'Then I want you to teach me how to make love. Completely. To all of me.' she told me, confidently, with an absolute radiance.
Yeah, she got it.
I began by leaning down to kiss her, softly, on her forehead, then the bridge of her nose. Both eyes were next, then her cheeks, and finally – gently – her lips. Her return kiss was equally gentle, and she patiently accepted it when I moved on to kiss more of her face before returning to her lips. This time, my kisses were firmer, as were hers. Gradually, in an ever-increasing cycle, we became more and more insistent, and more and more involved with each other – at times, I didn't know where I ended and she began.
As our bonding started, so did our explorations: reaching out, my hand landed on her breast, gently as a butterfly, then began stroking it from base to tip the same way. Firm as her breasts were, I could feel them tighten even more at my touch, her nipple first hardening, then erecting to press into the palm of my hand.
Her hand took a less direct route – first touching my face, she softly and slowly trailed it down my chest, then my belly, until she reached my manhood, full of blood but not yet erect. Her gentle stroking soon corrected that deficiency, and she continued on by cupping my testicles in her hand, and stroking the sack, and even rolling them in her hand before trailing her fingers back up, and along the length of me.
Following her example, I traced my way down her body, fingertips barely touching her, pausing here and there to create little designs on her skin, before reaching her pubis, and finally, her womanly treasure. I was not surprised to find that her clitoris had raised its head in greeting, nor that her inner recess had opened for my explorations. I softly traced the outline of her pubic hair, and make several trips across and through its lushness, marveling at its softness. However, I was continuously drawn back to the damp, hot opening between her legs, and began exploring it with my finger – tracing the outline of the lips guarding it; drawing my fingertip between her inner lips, feeling them almost clutching at me, as though inviting me in. Ultimately, I did as they bid, and carefully pressed a fingertip in toward her very core -and was made welcome by the hunching of her hips, inviting me in even farther.
I went carefully, though – pressing in slightly, and then withdrawing, to make sure that her slippery juices were well distributed before pressing further inward. I met the resistance of her maidenhead, but found my way past it without hurting her, until, finally, I had an entire digit in her. Her moans into my mouth encouraged me to further
