'No, you wouldn't be wrong. Uh, would it be okay if I got in the shower first? And you didn't look while I go? It's bad enough that I'm feeling squishy, but it ran down my leg, too.'
'First, as in you still want me to join you?' – she nodded – 'Sure, you can go first. Or alone, if you want. It's fun taking baths and showers with you, but I can sure understand if you want to take one alone, too.'
'No, I like washing with you, too – I just want a little time to clean up before I clean up.'
'That's fine. And no, I won't watch while you go – at least, not
She made a wry face, and got up while I made a big show of covering my eyes with my fingers – leaving an obvious gap for her to see. She giggled, and headed toward the bathroom. When Mabel came on and asked if she should start the coffee, Jan about jumped out of her skin, causing me to laugh hysterically. Mabel had to repeat the question a couple of times before I was able to tell her to go ahead; by that time, Jan was in the bathroom, and I could hear the shower running. Giving it a couple of minutes, I got up as well, heading in to join her. I made a bit of noise, so that Jan would know I was there, and giving her a chance to warn me off, if necessary. She didn't, and I soon joined her for a happy mutual scrub down.
When we'd finished breakfast, Jan called her friends, and invited them over; they all agreed that they'd be there at 11:00. Jan and I actually sat and watched cartoons in the family room for nearly the entire morning; both of us getting nearly hysterical with some of the adult-level jokes, double-entendrees, and just plain silliness of most of them. Happily, both of us absolutely loathed the politically correct let's-all-be-happy-and-tolerant crud.
Before we knew it, it was approaching 11:00, and sure enough, the doorbell rang. Well, to be more precise, Mabel announced that someone was at the door. Jan told Mabel to display the front door camera on the TV, and it turned out that Kelly was the first to arrive.
Since I wanted to talk with her, I answered the door, and when she came in, gave her a soft kiss on the lips before telling her 'It's been too long, Kelly. Can we talk a minute?'
She seemed hesitant, but agreed, so I led her into the kitchen.
I started off by telling her 'Kelly, you haven't been here for a while, and I've missed you. Is there something wrong?'
She looked down at her feet while she said 'Well, uh, yeah.'
'Is it something I did?'
'No. Something*I* did.'
'What is it? Did you murder your folks in their sleep? Rob a bank? Find yourself a nice guy?'
She looked up at me at the last, and said 'No, the only nice guy I found is you. And that's why I didn't want to come over here for a while.'
'Why is that?'
'Because I did something that I'm ashamed of that I think might hurt you.'
'Am I bleeding?', I asked.
'What? No, you're not bleeding.'
'Then it can't be too serious. Tell me what's going on.'
She hesitated a bit, then sighed, and said 'I told some of our friends -
Jan and mine's – who you were. I mean, that you had, you know, made love to me and made me so happy and everything.' She finished the last part looking at her shoes again.
She went by saying 'I'm sorry, Dan. I really am. I know I wasn't supposed to tell anybody, except Jan of course, but they just kept *after* me about it. And then one day they seemed to know a lot about it, and started surprising me with questions about us. I found out later that they kind of broke Jan down about it, too, but because you and I had more between us, I figured that I needed to keep our secret better.
But I didn't, and now they know, and I'm sorry I let you down.' The last bit was accompanied by some sniffling and some tear tracks down her face.
I took her hands, and said 'Kelly, look at me.'
She started to lift her head, but didn't get far.
'Kelly, come on. Please. Look at me.'
She waited a bit, and finally managed to raise her head enough to look at me. I released her hand long enough to tilt her head up the rest of the way, so that we were looking at each other full on.
'Kelly, you didn't do anything wrong. Maybe the timing was bad, but nothing you did was wrong. You haven't disappointed me or let me down; not even a little bit. What happened was just one of those things that you're just not equipped yet to handle. Maybe in a few more years, you would have been, but right now, no. You told some people about us, and that's okay with me. Remember, we talked about this before? When you were here the first time?'
She paused a moment, thinking, then nodded, so I continued 'I really didn't expect that any of this would stay a secret forever; as a matter of fact, I'm surprised there weren't some questions after the little lingerie show you all put on for me – I'd have thought that sure as hell, somebody would have said something about it that would have gotten back to me. But since it didn't, I suppose that all of you that were there for it are pretty good at keeping secrets.'
She sniffled a bit before telling me 'But*I* didn't keep our secret.'
'Kelly, that's what I'm trying to tell you: all things considered, it doesn't seem to have been that big of a secret to keep. If anything, I'm sorry that you felt that it was so important that you didn't think you could come over here after you told anybody about it.'
'What do you mean?'
'If I hadn't given you the idea that it was so dad-blamed important, you might have been willing to come over here and tell me about it. Then you wouldn't have felt so bad that you had to stay away for what? Two?
Three? weeks, and I wouldn't have missed you so much.'
'You missed me?'
'Yeah. A lot. But I figured I had to give you some space – I could only hope that, with some time, you'd feel that you could say something to me about it, and we could work out whatever the problem was.'
She started sniffling again, and said 'Then I was dumb, too. I ought to know by now that I can trust you, and that you're not going to get upset with me about stuff.'
I sighed, and said 'Dear one, you made a mistake. That's part of being human. Nobody's dead, nobody's bleeding. As long as you learned something from it, then that's all that really matters. Anything else is just nuisance.'
Tears running down her face, she asked 'You forgive me then?'
'Darlin', I don't see that there's anything to forgive; but if it makes you feel better, then yes, I forgive you.'
At that, the waterworks went into full operation, and she rushed into my arms, hugging me as she cried into my shirt. Murmuring reassuring sounds to her, I held her, patting and caressing her back until she finally stopped crying. When she released me, I held onto her just long enough to plant a soft kiss on her forehead before letting go. She smiled up at me, still sniffling a little. I reached over and got her a couple of paper towels. Handing them to her, I said 'Go ahead and use these – they're extra-strength', making her laugh as she took them. After wiping her eyes and face, then blowing her nose, she threw one away while hanging on to the other.
Grinning sheepishly at me, she moved closer and asked 'Um, can I get a real kiss now?'
'Gladly!', I answered, smiling.
When we'd caught our breath again, I grabbed some drinks from the fridge and guided her back into the family room. Jan looked up at her, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Kelly nod her head that things were okay again. Jan smiled, and got up, coming over to give first Kelly, then me, a hug.
Just as they were sitting down, Mabel announced another visitor; the TV showed that Robyn and Kim were both at the door. I asked Jan if she wanted to get the door, and after she and Kelly exchanged a Look, said 'You go ahead, Uncle Dan. Kelly and I need to talk to them, and having you answer the door might shake them up a bit.'
'And after I let them in?'
'Um, I think we'll need some time alone.', she said, indicating she wanted me to get lost, quickly.
'You got it.'
That settled, I opened the door for the new visitors – and was pleased by the surprised/frightened expressions
