Jan

is different than what Kelly feels for him. To me, he's like a part of my family – he's always been there when I've needed someone or something. But I know that he isn't someone that I can spend the rest of my life with – even if I wanted to.

He knows how I feel, and loves me anyway. I've known Kelly almost as long, and I know what her family life was like. Uncle Dan is the kind of person that Kelly deserves, and Kelly is the kind of person that Uncle Dan deserves. I'm happy to see them together; I think they're perfect for each other. So it doesn't bother me that Kelly gets to have him more than I do. That's because I know that he still loves ME, too, as much as he does Kelly, but in a different way. And I love Kelly, just like I love Uncle Dan, but in a different way. Because I love her, and love Uncle Dan, I don't mind them being together and making love – because I know they love me, too, in their way.'

Kelly added 'I do love Jan, in a different way than I love Dan. I know that Dan isn't going to stop loving me the way he does just because Jan shares his bed sometimes. And because Dan makes me so happy, and I love Jan, I want her to feel the happiness she gets from Dan, just like she wants me to feel the happiness*I* get from him. All three of us love each other. It's in different ways, but it's still LOVE. And because we love each other, we're willing to share that love – and our time and our patience and our affection. Jan doesn't ask for him that much, so it's no problem for me for them to be together sometimes. But even if she wanted to move in here and spend ALL her time with us, it would be okay – because I love them, and trust them, and respect them.'

Here, too, I felt I had something to contribute.

'They're both right – I do love them, equally, but each in their own way. Please understand that love – from the heart and mind – isn't something that you only have a little bit of. It's something that you always have enough of for the people that you care about. Think about the people that you love most: do you love them in exactly the same way, or do you love them even a little bit differently? Do you love one more than the other, or equally? Do you think that the love you have for them is all the loving you can do, or do you think you could love another person In addition to them? That's the kind of love I feel for Kelly and Jan – but with the additional aspect that our love isn't just emotional, but physical and intellectual, as well.'

Kelly followed me by telling them 'As for what happens when both of us want him, we share him. Yes, I mean that both of us make love with him at the same time. Jan and I love and care for each other, and trust each other, so we're not afraid or ashamed to be with him together. And because he does love both of us, equally, he's able to make both of us happy, emotionally and physically.'

Seeing the looks on their faces, Jan felt obliged to inform them 'Understand this: Uncle Dan has shown us that love is patience and understanding and caring. When the three of us make love together, it doesn't matter who has more orgasms, or who does what with whom, as long as all three of us are HAPPY. Kelly and I know that Uncle Dan loves us, equally, so there's no reason for us to compete for orgasms or to see which one of us can make him happy – we both know that we DO make him happy, and that's all that matters. If Dan and Kelly are happy, then I'm happy; if Dan and I are happy, then Kelly is happy; and if Kelly and I are happy, then Dan is happy. If one of us is unhappy for some reason, then the other two join together to make that person feel good again, because we all love each other. Understand?'

Robyn, with a puzzled look on her face, asked us 'I'm not sure if I really understand what the three of you mean by 'love'. Can you explain it to me?'

Jan and Kelly looked at each other, then me, indicating that they wanted me to explain first.

'What the three of us consider love to be is so simple, that it can only be explained in a complicated way, really.' Turning to Susan, I asked her 'Susan, would you say that you love me?'

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'Yes, I guess I do, a little bit.'

'Why?' I asked.

It shook her up a bit, and she had to think about it before she could say 'Because you helped me with Phil. Because you've always been nice to me, and don't talk to me like I'm a little kid. Because you've made my friends Jan and Kelly happy. Because you help me feel good about myself.', she answered.

'Would you be surprised to know that I love you, too, a little?'

Again, she thought a moment before answering'No, not really.'

'Why?'

'Because of all the things that you do that make me feel good.'

'Did you love Phil?'

'Yes, at first; but not at the end.'

'Why?'

'At first, he seemed so strong and acted like he cared about me,'

'Do you think Phil loved you?'

'No.'

'Why?'

'He never seemed to want to do anything with me; he just wanted what he wanted.'

'So you started by loving Phil because you thought you saw things in him that you liked, and when you found out that they weren't really there, didn't love him any more?'

'Yeah, I guess so.'

'And you figured out that Phil didn't love you because he didn't respect the things in your heart and mind that made you love him?'

'Yeah, I suppose.'

'So you started loving Phil because of the good things – the values – that you saw in him. And you didn't love him as much when you found out those good things – those values – weren't there?'

'Yeah.'

'And you stopped loving him when he didn't respect the good things – the values – that you knew you had inside yourself?'

'Uh-huh.'

'You started loving me when you saw the good things – the values – that I have inside?'

'Yeah.'

'And you know that I recognize and respect the good things – the values – that you have inside, and respond to them with my love?'

'Sure!'

'You started out loving Phil, then me. You stopped loving Phil, but still love me. Correct?'

'Yeah…' – she wasn't sure where this was going.

'What is the difference between me and Phil? Think about the questions I just asked, and what your answers were.'

She did think about it for a bit before her face sort of lit up, and she said, 'I gave Phil good, and he never gave it back. You do.'

When she said that, the other 3 started to get it, too. Jan and Kelly were already beaming.

'So when you tried to trade your good values with Phil, he kept what you had to offer, but gave nothing in return. When you offer to trade your good values with ME, I give you mine. I trade good values with you, and Phil didn't.'

'Yeah! That's it!', she responded – and again, Robyn, Sandra, and Candice brightened a bit with the revelation.

'The other difference is that I don't demand anything from you, the way Phil did, do I? I accept what you offer me, and offer you an equal value from me, correct?'

'That's right.'

'But you only love me a little bit, right? Just as you know I love you a little bit?'

'That's true.'

'But you haven't offered me everything that is inside you, either, have you? You haven't offered me the best that you know is inside you.'

'No, I haven't', she said.

'And you know that I haven't offered YOU the best that is inside of ME.'

'Yeah, I know that.'

'So, what we feel for each other is a little bit of love – let's call it affection – because we have exchanged some