Booked to die

She turned and looked at me directly. “What a silly question.”

“What’s your silly answer?”

She took a long time answering, of course…a long, endearing moment.

“I think I do,” she said. “Yeah.”

She blushed.

“I am so tired of being alone,” she said.

“Don’t be, then.”

“Damn you,” she said. “Damn you, damn you, Janeway. Of all the things I didn’t need in my life, the list begins and ends with you.”

“I bet you’ve been thinking about me constantly.”

“You’re a thug. My God, a policeman! Me with a cop.”

“I’m a refined, wizened dealer in rare books.”

“You wouldn’t know a rare book if it fell on your head.”

“But I learn fast. I soak up knowledge like mere mortals eat soup. I’m witty, I’m bright; I’m a bundle of goddamn laughs in case you hadn’t noticed.” I stopped, realizing suddenly, sadly, that 1 had lifted the pitch somewhere. It was almost the same half-joking plea that Miss Pride had used the night she’d come begging for a job.

Rita was looking at me intently.

“Here’s the best part,” I said. “I don’t mind taking orders from a woman.”

“How kind of you. How generous.”

“Can’t you just see it, lighting up the night sky? Janeway and McKinley. What a wow, huh?”

“Six days ago I’d never heard of you. I was five thousand miles away, lying in the sun. Now you’re not only taking me over, you’re getting top billing.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. It’s like in vaudeville: the straight man always gets top billing.”

“Shut up,” she said, coming close. She took off her coat and threw it somewhere. The air seemed electric between us: the fine hair was standing up on her arms and neck. I knew if we touched, the static would fry us both.

She threw her arms around me and kissed me hard. The world went pop.

“This is insane,” she breathed into my neck.

I kissed her too. Her hand was on my gun. I could feel her heart; I could hear it, like a distant drumbeat.

“You never cared about books,” she said. “It’s all just a ruse to get in my pants.”

“I can’t keep anything from you.”

“Well,” she said. “I guess it worked.”

46

I remembered something Ruby had said: It’s the most hypnotic business a man can do. He was talking about the book business, equating it to making love. I still had the gun in my hand: I don’t even remember now how that happened, but somehow the three of us wound up in bed together. I clutched the gun and held on for dear life. That piece of cold blue steel was my last link with sanity. I shuddered my way inside her and she jerked, pulling me all the way down. I held on to the gun and went all the way. This was so right. I closed my eyes and lost it. Oh, I lost it all. Anyone could’ve come through the front door and killed us both: I wouldn’t‘ve known, much less cared. They could’ve come through with a battering ram and six regiments of cavalry. I think maybe they did. They ripped the door out of the frame and stormed through on the way to the Little Bighorn, and the last man through picked up the door, gave it a paint job, hung it back, closed and locked it good as new. Brushed himself off, saluted, and called me sir: then left us there, before I knew they had come.

“Janeway,” she said.

“Mmmm.”

“Tell me that isn’t your gun mashed against my head.”

I took the gun in my other hand and propped myself up.

She began to laugh. “Now that’s one for the books. I’ve just been screwed by a man with a gun and it wasn’t even rape.”

“That’s what you think,” I said. “I never had a chance.”

47

It was two o’clock in the morning and we were just getting around to the steaks. “This is my day for decadence,” Rita said. “Lose my virginity. Go back on meat. I seem to be a wanton, savage creature at heart.”

“Jeez, were you a virgin too?” I said.