for business not related to books. I have another account for investments: my accountant talked me into doing that last year. I seem to take in more money than I can decently spend now; I can’t even give it away fast enough. I make money while I’m lying in bed. Would you like to know how much I made last night while you were, ah, following your nose? I can calculate it, give or take a little. I’m making money this minute, for Christ’s sake. I don’t ever have to lift another finger. What work I do, I do because I’ve got to do something or go out of my mind. I was never made to be gracefully rich; I’m too restless to be idle. I don’t want any more money, don’t even want what I’ve got. So please tell me why I would lie and steal and kill for more stupid money.”
I shrugged sadly. Maybe for kicks, I thought: maybe for love. Who can ever know what people will do, or why?
“I’ve got one other account,” she said. “You could call it my fuck you account.”
I knew what she meant. I know all about fuck you money, mainly because I’ve never had any.
In that same flat voice, she said, “You are the most exciting man. All I have to do is think of you and I just tingle. Even that first night. I walked out of your bookstore and it was so powerful I had to stop and lean against something. I thought, there’s my guy. It was absolutely terrifying, the most thrilling moment of my life. Couldn’t wait to see you again. But you’ve got no faith, and that’s the most important thing. You’ve got no faith, Janeway. I don’t think we’re going to make it.”
“I need to know. You’ve got to understand that.”
“You need to believe. I know it’s not quite fair. A just God wouldn’t try us like this, before we even know each other. I’m not blaming you, but don’t blame me either. This is what I am. At this particular point in my life, I need faith more than love. An equal amount of each would be nice.”
“I guess 1 was a cop too long.”
She sighed. “And there isn’t any God, and life’s not fair.”
The road snaked away to the left, a narrow blacktop five miles south of Longmont. Houses were sprinkled on both sides. The pavement ended with a bump and the houses fell away and we clattered along a dusty washboard road. Trees appeared on the rolling edge of the prairie.
There was a rutted side road, just where Ruby’s map showed it: then the house, peeping through the seams of a wooded arroyo. I turned in and stopped. My odometer showed that we had come twenty-six miles from downtown Denver.
“Looks like nobody’s home,” Rita said.
“We’ll see.”
I left her there with the motor running and walked the hundred yards to the house. It was an old country house, American gothic. The windows were dark and in the mid-morning light it looked deserted. A rambling front porch flitted in and out of view through a blowing hedge. The wind was strong, whipping down the front range. Some of the windows had been boarded up: the front railing was down in places and the steps looked rickety and dangerous. On the east end some scaffolding had been erected and there was evidence of recent work. There were no cars in the yard. I watched for a while but saw nothing that mattered.
I moved to the edge of the house, then around to the front. The place was like a crypt: not even a bird to break the monotony, only that steady beating wind. I eased up the steps to the porch, flattened myself beside the door and listened.
Nothing.
How many times have I done this, I thought: how many times when I was a cop did I jack up my courage and walk into trouble with this same gun pointing the way? It never loses its charm: the prospect of sudden death, maybe your own, always comes with a clutching at the throat and a rush of adrenaline. I tried the door. It creaked open and I looked in at a picture of frontier America. Broken old furniture. Antique pictures. Farm relics from another time. A kerosene lamp stood on a table, its glass charred black. An old wooden yoke had been thrown in a corner.
I took one step inside. The floor creaked and in the silence it sounded like a gunshot. I flattened against the door and caught my breath. I waited, listening. I waited so long a mouse scurried across the room.
It didn’t look promising. The dust in the parlor was half an inch deep. No one had been through here in at least six months.
Doesn’t seem to be Janeway’s year for hunches.
If it didn’t pan out I was back to zero. Square one. Lookin‘ for a turtle-faced man and a whole new gambit.
I left deep black prints in the dust. I crossed the scurry marks left by the mouse. It’s going to be a wash, I thought, another dead end. I had reached a long dark hallway and still nothing had happened. A thick ribbon of dust, undisturbed since time began, stretched out toward the back of the house.
I lowered the gun. My forces were still on alert, but the condition was downgraded from red to yellow.
There were two rooms on each side of the hall. At the end was another hall that went into the east wing. There was a door, which was closed.
