Any violent death is bad, but this one was worse than bad. I felt like I’d just been mauled by a tiger.
Then, suddenly, they were all gone. The lab boys rolled up their tents and packed away their gear and the crowd outside began to dissolve. Fifteen minutes later the place was empty. A wave of loneliness washed over me, deep and cutting, almost unbearable. How little we know about people, I thought. Can you ever really know anyone? Already I saw Pinky Pride as a one-dimensional figure. I liked her but I knew in years to come I’d have trouble remembering her face. How little time I had actually spent with her. Never mind, Pinky, I’ll spend the time now. I’ll spend it now.
I went from room to room turning off the lights. The bathroom was the worst. The blood was still there and the room was puffed with fingerprint dust and there was still the smell of death, but fading now. I’m not much of a crier: I hate to admit that these days, when
“I can’t believe this,” Ruby said. “God damn, that poor kid. That poor sweet kid.”
Neff looked truly shaken. He sat in his usual spot behind the counter, but his usually busy hands were idle.
“What were you boys doing last night?” I asked.
“We were right here, Dr. J. You called me here, you know where we were.”
“Did you see anything, hear anything, or see anybody unusual?”
I was looking at Neff, who had gone pale. His hands had begun to tremble. “I…I think I…may’ve seen him,” he said.
“We been sittin‘ here waiting for the cops to come down, but they never did,” Ruby said. “We didn’t know what to do.”
“They had to chase down something urgent, but they’ll be back,” I said. “What did you see, Neff?”
But Neff couldn’t speak. He put his hand over his face and sat there shivering.
“Give ‘im a minute,” Ruby said. “This’s been one helluva shock.”
“For all of us, Ruby,” I said. “What were you doing between five and six?”
“Lookin‘ at books.”
“What books?”
“We’d just gotten in some wonderful stuff. I was humped over here at the door, lookin‘ at the books. I didn’t see a thing.”
“That’s what you were doing when I called?”
“Yeah. Em was here with me, sittin‘ right where he is now. He didn’t feel good…”
“I’ve had a touch of stomach flu,” Neff said. “Had the runs all day long. I thought maybe if I got out a while, if I went on a buy, I’d stop thinking about how lousy I felt. I shoulda gone home and went to bed. But I went out and bought these books instead. I’d just gotten back. I had to hit the can so bad I thought I’d bust. You know how we’re set up back there, real cramped, with the toilet right on the alley. I sat down and did my duty, then opened the back door to air the place out. There was a guy… coming up from your way… Christ, I looked right in his face.”
“What’d he look like?”
“Like a man 1 wouldn’t want to run into, in a dark alley at night.”
“Give me some color, Neff. Give me a size, a shape. How old was this dude?”
“I don’t know. Forty… maybe older. I wasn’t paying that much attention then. I know he was white, and big.”
“How big? Two hundred? Six feet? You tell me, Neff, I’m a lousy mind reader.”
“Yeah… big. Two hundred… at least that. Six feet… I don’t know. But heavy through here. God, he saw me watching him.”
“What did he do when he saw you watching him?”
“Turned his head away… like this… then went on by.”
“Did that strike you as suspicious?”
“Why should it? I didn’t know anybody’d been killed. I’m used to seeing weird characters around here; why should I think anything about it. Jesus, the guy looked straight at me. What am I gonna do?”
“Tell the cops what happened, just like you’re telling me.”
“Well, where the hell are they? And what if that guy comes back before they do?”
“I’m not telling you not to worry about it: somebody’s killed three book people in this town and maybe we all better worry a little. If I were you I’d leave the store closed today. Stay together. Go downtown and wait for Hennessey, then tell him what you told me. Could you describe this guy for a police artist?”
“Maybe… I’m not sure. I didn’t stare at him. When he looked away, so did I.”
“How was he dressed?”
