Make No Bones

objets d'art. What was the market value on a bunch of burned or otherwise mutilated human bones? What was the estimated replacement cost? And if you could arrive at one, just how would you go about replacing them?

'I'll tell you what's really worrying me,” Miranda said. “What's the museum board going to say? And what about Jasper's family, for God's sake?'

'Ah,” Leland said, “the estimable Casper Jasper, et al.'

'As long as you're worrying,” Callie said, “don't forget about Nellie Hobert. He'll have kittens when he hears.'

'Gadzooks,” Miranda said. “I hadn't even thought about Nellie. Here he keeps the bones safe for ten years, gives them to us, and we lose them in exactly one day.'

'Nellie Hobert's a good guy. He's not going to make a fuss,” Les said, an assessment with which Gideon agreed. “And he's not going to blame you, Miranda.” He wiped his fingers on a paper napkin and tossed it on the low table. “Look, why don't we do this: announce to everyone that a joke's a joke, but the bones have to come back. Tell them they have, say, two days to get them back to the museum, with no questions asked. If they're not back by then, the cops get called in.'

After a few minutes’ discussion this sensible recommendation was agreed to by everyone; somewhat reluctantly in Leland's case.

'All right,” Miranda said, “at the ten-thirty break I'll make a general announcement about the theft and about what we've agreed to here. I just hope it all works out.'

'I was thinking,” Callie said, picking a shred of tobacco from the tip of her tongue. “It might help if I set up some voluntary encounter sessions this afternoon—give them an opportunity for some venting and catharsis. I'll facilitate,” she added unnecessarily.

'Oh, do,” Leland said. “If that doesn't do the trick, nothing will.'

'Drop dead, Leland,” Callie said.

* * * *

John Lau arrived late that afternoon, delighted with the sunshine and glad to be out of Seattle. ('You want to guess what it was doing when I left?') He had dinner in the lodge dining room with Julie, Gideon, and the founding members, where the talk was mostly about the missing bones. John listened with the look of a man who didn't quite believe what he was hearing but was willing to be a sport and go along with it.

'Bone-napping,” he mused gravely over apple cobbler. “I'd really like to help out, folks, but I don't think it's a federal crime. Unless,” he added, as a smile finally broke through, “they cart the stuff across state lines.'

Les laughed. “Hey, Callie, how'd the encounter group go? Anybody ‘fess up?'

Callie had just lit up. She exhaled noisily, lower lip extended to blow the smoke upward, and shook her head. “How many showed up?'

'Well, there wasn't much lead time, and people had already made other plans—'

'How many? Three? Four? Anybody?'

'Three,” Callie muttered.

'Plenty of venting and catharsis, though, I bet.'

'No,” she said defensively, “as a matter of fact there wasn't. You can't expect miracles at a first session. We're talking about counterintuitive risk-taking behavior here, and you can't build a conducive climate for that in a couple of hours. It takes time to establish new interactive norms.'

Leland regarded her with open distaste. “I hate to change the subject,” he said, “but need I remind anyone that the evening is slipping away? Are we going to play poker, or are we not? There are traditions to be upheld here.'

John turned to Gideon, surprised. “You people play poker?'

Gideon laughed. “Do birds eat worms?'

John surveyed the table of academics with undisguised avidity. “For money?'

Miranda, on John's other side, waggled her eyebrows at him. “Care to join us, young man?'

'I wouldn't want to horn in.'

'The more the merrier. You too, Julie.'

'Well—sure,” she said, then whispered to Gideon: “Will you make me one of those charts?'

'What charts?'

'You know, that shows which hand beats which hand.” “Why do I foresee disaster here?” Gideon said. “Harlow, we'll use your cottage,” Leland announced. Harlow hesitated. “I don't know, Leland. I think I'll sit this one out.'

'Nonsense,” Leland told him. “We don't want to keep other people up all night, and you have the most out-of- the-way cottage. Besides, I lust after your money.” Leland had had a few glasses of wine by this time.

Harlow smiled wanly. “Couldn't I just give you ten dollars right now?'

'That,” said Leland, “wouldn't be sporting.'

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