Make No Bones

my 304 midterm. Mr. Vroom came in fifteen minutes late, sat there five minutes, handed in his paper, and left. Do you know what he wrote?'

'No, what did he write, Harlow?” Callie said with a wooden-lipped attempt at a smile. How strange it was, when you came to think of it, that almost everything she said to Harlow Pollard required this granite-willed attitude of indulgence on her part. At fifty-three, he was nine years her senior, and once upon a time he had been her major professor. She had gotten her Ph.D. under him, right here at Nevada State, and started immediately as a temporary lecturer when he was already a fully tenured associate professor.

And now, she thought, idly fingering the buttery brown leather arm of the chair she'd inherited when she'd taken over the department, now here she was a dozen years later, a full professor and department chair to boot. And soon to be dean of faculty, if she didn't screw things up. And poor, plodding, shortsighted Harlow? Harlow was still an associate professor. He would be an associate professor when he retired. (Soon, God willing.)

'Well, here's what he wrote,” Harlow droned on. “'Sorry, prof, not my day.’ This was in big block letters, then he drew one of those, what do you call them, one of those Happy Faces, and wrote ‘Have a nice day.'

He looked up, thick-witted and impenetrable. “Can anyone tell me what to make of that?'

Callie was weary of the conversation, but she leaned forward with what she hoped looked like eagerness. “But can't you see that, looked at in the right way, that's his attempt—faltering, tentative, to be sure—to open up communication? This is our chance to respond, to show him that we care, that we can be nurturing as well as censuring.'

'Nurturing...?” Harlow echoed opaquely. He really, truly didn't get it, didn't even understand the words. The others weren't much better.

'He is twenty-eight years old,” ventured Will Martinez, who couldn't have been more than a couple of years older. “You'd think—'

Callie decided it was time to assert her authority. Enough was enough. “I'm glad you've all shared your thoughts with me,” she said briskly. “I've learned a lot from listening to you, but it's clear to me we have a way to go here. I think we should devote our team-building session Thursday to some hands-on training in nondirective counseling. I'll ask Dr. Mehrabian from human resources development to put us through some problem-solving role play. Does that make sense to everyone? Does anyone see any problem with that? Is there any feedback?'

Aside from the resigned, almost imperceptible slumping of three sets of shoulders, there was no feedback.

* * * *

It hadn't been one of her better faculty meetings, Callie thought with irritation as the door closed behind them. She hadn't elicited enough response, as exasperating as that invariably turned out to be. She hadn't made them feel that the training was their idea. Well, what could she expect? The letter from Miranda had arrived only an hour earlier, and of course it had upset her. She was a high-strung person; she'd never claimed she wasn't.

Harlow must have received his copy in the morning's mail too; that would be more than enough to account for his having looked even more gray-faced and dyspeptic than usual.

She pulled it out of the desk tray and scanned it again. Whitebark Lodge. What a host of wretched memories that name stirred up.

Not that it had started badly, of course. It had been Nellie Hobert's idea in the first place, as she recalled: an informal conference-cum-retirement-party-in-the-woods for Albert Evan Jasper, put on by the celebrated anthropologist's grateful and adoring former students. Never mind that Callie had felt neither grateful nor adoring toward the chauvinistic old bully; never mind that she had left him after two maddening years to come and study with the less demanding Harlow Pollard, himself a browbeaten former student of Jasper's. The facts were that she had learned a lot from Jasper, that she'd been flattered to be invited to the meeting, and that some sort of send-off seemed his due.

Well, the old man had gotten a send-off, all right. Straight out of this life. She couldn't claim to be sorry about that even now, but it had been a miserable experience for her all the same. For a long time she had dragged around a burden of guilt, as if it had been her fault, her personal doing, that had driven him to his death.

Which it hadn't been, of course; hers or anyone else's. The therapeutic-psychodrama group at Esalen had helped her get that unwholesome idea out of her mind, and the marathon encounter weekend with its follow-up week of transformational body-mind work had put things in their true perspective: Albert Evan Jasper had been “driven” to nothing; he had made his own decisions, followed his own course, and marched—decisively and arrogantly as always—to his own violent end.

And now, even in death, even ten years later, even after she'd gotten it out of her system—or so she'd believed—here he was, still blighting her life. And no doubt doing the same to Nellie Hobert, and poor old Harlow, and the rest of them.

Damn him, she thought.

* * * *

In his smaller, dustier office two floors below Callie's, Harlow Pollard stared hollowly at Miranda's letter. He was filled with a sense of impending doom, of a fateful circle coming closed. Whitebark Lodge. When he'd first read those words a few hours ago, his immediate reaction had been an instinctive aversion. He wouldn't go. How could he? How could Callie, how could any of them? But then a sort of desperate, horrible resignation had come over him. Oh, yes, he would go back. A part of him had always known that one day he would, that his long ordeal would be resolved there.

He frowned, probing with his middle finger at the spot below his sternum where the familiar pain was focused, where he was sure he could feel the acid eating through his stomach lining. He took a couple of chewable Pepto- Bismol tablets from the family-sized box in his lower desk drawer and forced them down a dry throat with a gulp of herbal tea that had been on his desk since yesterday.

My God, my God, Whitebark Lodge.

Not that he bore the responsibility for what had happened there. No one could say that. Of all of them, he was probably the least to blame. Whose fault was it, then? Well, that depended on how you looked at it. On the one hand, you might say it was everyone's, in an indirect sort of way, of course. On the other, wasn't it really Jasper himself...

Harlow passed his hand over his eyes. With puffy, unsteady fingers he tore the plastic wrapper from two more