focused, and stable. She wanted to throw everything to the wind, get in the car and drive to North Carolina, help search for him. God, if something had happened to him…
Baldwin was quiet, and she felt the agony begin to build, her heart racing as adrenaline showered her system, the very real sense that her blood pressure had spiked, the pit of her stomach gone to water. She heard her heartbeat in her ears, felt it in the back of her throat. She swallowed, hard.
“No. Please, no. Tell me they didn’t find his body.” Her voice sounded far away, not her own.
“I’m so sorry I can’t be there with you right now, Taylor. I know this is hell for you. They didn’t find his body, honey. But they did find something. It’s relatively recent, within the past week. An RV, left unattended in a campground up near Asheville. They’re tracking the rental records right now.”
She spoke between clenched teeth. “What did they find, Baldwin? Tell me.”
“They found a note. Addressed to you. It said, ‘Ayin tahat ayin.’ ”
“What’s that mean?”
“It’s Hebrew. It means an eye for an eye.”
“An eye for an eye? Do you think it was from the Pretender?”
“He signed it that way, yes.”
“What the hell kind of game is he playing? An eye for an eye?”
“I don’t know.” He stopped talking again. Taylor heard him swallow, followed suit herself, trying to contract the muscles of her throat to force the gorge down.
She felt a calm steal over her, that sense of disbelief, the out-of-body feeling she got when she was about to receive bad news. “What is it, Baldwin? I can tell you’re leaving something out. What else did they find in that RV?”
“Honey, it’s… They found an eye, Taylor. They found what they think is Fitz’s eye.”
Thirty-Three
O nce she calmed down, she’d forced Baldwin to call his friend at the NCSBI back so she could talk to him directly, gleaned every tiny detail she could from the man. They were changing the scope of the investigation, were on a search-and-rescue mission now, tracking the man they only knew as the Pretender. Hoping they could get Fitz back in one piece, instead of twenty.
We have a strong team in place, ma’am. We promise, we’ll find him, ma’am. We’re sorry we went in the wrong direction for a while there, ma’am.
She had to believe them. Baldwin assured her his friend was one of the best.
The thought of Fitz in pain, being tortured, made her want to scream, to tear her hair out. But that wasn’t going to solve anything. It wouldn’t bring him home.
Baldwin was quiet on the other end of the phone, letting her work through her thoughts without interruption.
“Tell me the quote from Exodus again,” she said.
He shifted toward her. “Exodus chapter twenty-one, verse twenty-three through twenty-seven- ‘If any harm follows, then you shall give life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.’ ”
She moaned softly. “He’s going to kill him.”
“I don’t know, Taylor. The verse goes on. ‘When the slave owner strikes the eye of a male or female slave, destroying it, the owner shall then let the slave go, a free person, to compensate for the eye.’ ”
“What are you saying? You think he’s been set free? Then where is he? Why hasn’t he been in contact?”
“I don’t know what to think, Taylor. The Pretender is still hell-bent on you, that’s for sure. He’s doing things he knows will hurt you directly.”
“I have to focus on these murders in Nashville. But as soon as I’m done, I’m going to go join the hunt.”
“Do you think that’s wise, Taylor? These men and women know what they’re doing.”
“It’s not like I’m going to get in the way. I’m a law enforcement officer, too. I know the protocols. I can help.”
Baldwin sighed deeply. “Taylor, that’s what he wants. That’s what the Pretender is counting on. He knows you, too damn well for comfort. He knows that if he leaves you a bit of bait, you’re going to run headlong toward it.”
Her chest tightened, frustration making her stomach clench. She knew she was responsible for this. She knew she’d gotten Fitz hurt. It was her fault. She didn’t need to be reminded.
“Low blow, Baldwin.”
“I don’t mean it as one. If it were you out there, and the police were finding pieces of your body, you don’t think I’d do the very same thing? I would hunt him down, tear the bastard limb from limb. But you can’t do that. You’re his target. You are what he wants. We need to keep you in Nashville. On your own turf, with your force to back you up. If you ever go out on your own, you’re vulnerable.”
“I’m not that vulnerable, Baldwin. I have a gun. I know how to fight.”
He raised his voice. “You knew how to fight on our wedding day too, and where did that get you? Tied to a bloody chair in a warehouse in New York.” She could practically hear him gritting his teeth, biting back the caustic words he’d never be able to take back. Her own temper rose unbidden.
“Don’t you dare yell at me. I wasn’t on my guard then. Who would have been? I was in a fucking wedding dress, on my way to marry you. ” She was feeling hot, furious and uncomfortable. They’d never had this argument before; she didn’t know he considered her weak for being captured.
“I know, Taylor. Jesus God above, I know. If it weren’t for me, none of that would have ever happened.”
“Oh, don’t be stupid. You weren’t the cause, any more than I was. It was a situation, and I mishandled it. Believe me, I’ll never make that mistake again.”
The moment the words were out, she regretted it. “That’s not what I mean,” she said, softer now. “I mean I’ll always be on my guard. I’ll always be watching for him.”
“So you do still want to marry me?”
She tried to calm her breathing.
“Of course I do. I’m wearing your ring, aren’t I?”
His voice was bleak. “When all I bring you is danger? You’re a hard woman to keep safe, Taylor. What I do, the people I have to associate with, all of it brings you into harm’s way. Look at Aiden. If the Pretender hadn’t killed him, where would we be?”
“I don’t know. We’d-”
“Be running from the bastard, that’s where!”
She modulated her voice carefully. This could easily spill out of control, and she didn’t want that, not now. Not over the phone, where the smallest turn of phrase could be misconstrued.
“Stop shouting at me, Baldwin. You have no idea where that might have led. Stop imagining the worst and let me do my job.”
“Your job is to stay in Nashville, or have you forgotten that? Your caseload, your team. You have responsibilities there, Taylor. You can’t just run off willy-nilly on a wild-goose chase.”
He huffed to a stop, biting back the words.
Taylor had learned the hard way that fighting with someone you love has rules of engagement. She’d learned never to say the first thing that popped into her mind. Or the second. Or even the third, for that matter.
Finally, she took a breath, calmed herself, then said, “You think Fitz is dead, don’t you?”
“I don’t know. But I do know that if you fall for this, if you run off after him, you might be. And I can’t lose you, Taylor. Not like that. Not to someone like him.”
“So are you going to forbid me to go? Put your foot down, assert your rights over me?”
“No. I’d never do that. But I can ask, can’t I? I can ask you, beg you, to stay away from this case. To stay in Nashville where I can breathe easier, knowing you’re surrounded by people I trust to help keep you safe. All I can do is ask that you’ll keep me in mind before you do something reckless. Will you, Taylor? Will you please, please think about what you’re doing before you do it?”
