'Get out,' Lula said.
'That's just the way it came through the mail,' Grandma said. 'Sliced off like a chicken neck and stuck with a hatpin. Reminded me of my husband.'
Lula leaned forward so she could whisper. 'You talking about size? Was your man's part that big?'
'Heck no,' Grandma said. 'His part was that dead.' Vinnie stuck his head out of his office door, and swallowed hard when he saw Grandma.
'Oh jeez,' he said.
'I just picked Grandma up at the beauty parlor,' I told him 'And now we're going shopping. Thought I'd stop by to see what you wanted, since I was just down the street.' Vinnie's five-foot-nine frame hunched. His thinning black hair was slicked back and had the same level of shine as his pointy-toed black shoes. 'I want to know what's happening with Mancuso. This was supposed to be a simple pickup, and now I'm hanging out for a lot of money.'
'I'm closing in,' I said. 'Sometimes these things take time.'
'Time is money,' Vinnie said. 'My money.'
Connie rolled her eyes.
And Lula said, 'Say what?'
We all knew Vinnie's bond business was financed by an insurance company. Vinnie balanced on his toes, hands loose at his sides. City boy. Slack-jointed. Tight-assed.
'This case is out of your league. I'm giving it over to Mo Barnes.'
'I don't know Mo Barnes from Adam's donkey,' Grandma said to Vinnie. 'But I know he can't hold a candle to my granddaughter. She's the best there is when it comes to bounty huntering, and you'd be a darn fool to take her off this Mancuso case. Especially now that I'm working with her. We're about to crack his case wide open.'
'No offense,' Vinnie said, 'but you and your granddaughter couldn't crack a walnut with both hands, much less bring Mancuso in.'
Grandma pulled herself up and edged her chin out a half inch.
'Uh-oh,' Lula said.
'Bad things happen to people who take away from family,' Grandma told Vinnie.
'What kinds of bad things?' Vinnie asked. 'What's my hair gonna fall out? My teeth gonna rot in my head?'
'Maybe,' Grandma said. 'Maybe I'l put the evil eye on you. Or maybe I'll talk to your grandma Bella. Maybe I'l tell your grandma Bella how you talk fresh to an old woman.' Vinnie swayed foot to foot like a caged cat. He knew better than to displease Grandma Bella. Grandma Bella was even scarier than Grandma Mazur. Grandma Bella had on more than one occasion taken a grown man by the ear and brought him to his knees. Vinnie made a low sound behind clenched teeth and narrowed his eyes. He muttered something through tight lips, tipped backward into his office, and slammed his door shut.
'Well,' Grandma said. 'That's the Plum side of the family for you.' It was late afternoon when we finished shopping. My mother opened the door for us with a grim set to her mouth.
'I had nothing to do with the hair,' I told her. 'Grandma did that all by herself.'
'This is my cross to bear,' my mother said. She looked down at Grandma's shoes and genuflected.
Grandma Mazur was wearing Doc Martens. She was also wearing a new hiplength, downfilled ski jacket, jeans that she'd rolled and pegged, and a flannel shirt to match mine. We looked like
'I'm going to take a nap before dinner,' Grandma said. 'Shopping wore me out.'
'I could use help in the kitchen,' my mother said to me. This was bad news. My mother never needed help in the kitchen. The only time my mother requested help was when she had something on her mind and intended to browbeat some unfortunate soul into submission. Or when she wanted information. 'Have some chocolate pudding, she'd say to me. By the way, Mrs. Herrel saw you going into the Morellis' garage with Joseph Morelli. And why are your panties on inside out?' I dragged after her, into her lair, where potatoes boiled on the stove, steaming the air and fogging the window over the sink. My mother opened the oven door to check on the roast, and the smell of leg of lamb washed over me. I felt my eyes glaze and my mouth fall open in a stupor of expectation.
