Four to Score

I looked to Joe. 'You explain it.'

'Stephanie's apartment got damaged in the fire, and she's renting a room from me until her apartment's repaired.'

'How about sex?' Grandma asked. 'Are you having sex?'

'No.' Not since Saturday.

'If it was me, I'd have sex,' Grandma said.

'Christ,' my father said, at the head of the table.

My mother passed me the potatoes. 'I have forms for you to fill out for the insurance. Ed was over at your apartment and said there was nothing left of it. He said the only thing that was left was the cookie jar. He said the cookie jar was fine.'

I silently dared Morelli to say something about the cookie jar, but Morelli was busy cutting his meat. The phone rang and Grandma went to the kitchen to answer it.

'It's for you, Stephanie,' Grandma yelled.

'I been calling all over, trying to track you down,' Lula said. 'I got some news. Joyce Barnhardt called Vinnie just before we were getting ready to leave, and Connie listened in. Joyce told Vinnie she'd make him bark like a dog if he put her back on the case and guess what?'

'I can guess.'

'Yeah, so then she goes on to tell Vinnie how she's getting her leads on Maxine. And now we know the name of the little jackoff that's helping Joyce.'

'Yes!'

'So I figure maybe you and me should pay him a visit.'

'Now?'

'You got something better to do?'

'No. Now will be fine.'

'I'll pick you up then on account of I'm not riding in that Buick.'

Everyone stopped eating when I returned to the table.

'Well?' Grandma said.

'It was Lula. I'm going to have to eat and run. We have a lead on a case.'

'I could go, too,' Grandma said. 'Like last time.'

'Thanks, but I'd rather you stayed home and entertained Joe.'

Grandma winked at Morelli, and Morelli looked like a snake that just swallowed a cow and got it stuck in his throat.

Ten minutes later, I heard a car pull to the curb outside. Rap music thumped through the house, the music cut off and in moments Lula was at the door.

'We got a lot of pot roast,' Grandma said to Lula. 'You want some?'

My mother was on her feet, setting an extra plate.

'Pot roast,' Lula said. 'Boy, I like pot roast.' She pulled a chair up and shook out her napkin.

'I always wanted to eat with a Negro,' Grandma said.

'Yeah, well, I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman,' Lula said. 'So I guess this works out good.'

Grandma and Lula did some complicated handshake thing.

'Bitchin',' Grandma said.

*    *    *    *    *

IT WAS the first time I'd ridden in the new Firebird, and I was feeling envious.

'How can you afford a car like this working as a file clerk? And how come your insurance came through, and I'm still waiting?'

'First off, I got low overhead where I'm living. And second, I just keep leasing these suckers. You barbecue a car and they give you a new one. No sweat.'

'Maybe I should look into that.'

'Just don't tell them about how your cars keep getting blown up. They might think you're a risk, you know what I'm saying?' Lula had taken High to Hamilton. 'This guy, Bernie, works at the supermarket on Route Thirty-three. When he's not stacking oranges he's selling wacky tobaccy, which is the common link between Barnhardt and Mama Nowicki. Nowicki talks to Bernie, then Bernie talks to Barnhardt.'

'Joyce said it was a retail connection.'

'Ain't that the truth.'

'From what Connie got on the phone it seems he's also visually challenged.'

'Blind?'