High Five

'I'm the guy who's gonna sue your ass. That's who I am.'

'Give me a little time, and I could really learn to hate you.'

'Jeez, and just when I was thinking you were my soul mate.'

I gave him my best eat-dirt-and-die look, zipped myself into my rain jacket, and grabbed my shoulder bag. 'How do you like your coffee?'

'Black. Lots of it.'

I sprinted through the rain to the Buick and drove to Giovichinni's. The front of the store was redbrick, sandwiched between other businesses. On either side of Giovichinni's the buildings were single story. Giovichinni's was two stories, but the second floor wasn't used for much. Storage and an office. I drove to the end of the block and took the service alley that ran behind the store. The back side of Giovichinni's was redbrick, just like the front. And the back door opened to a small yard. At the end of the yard was a dirt parking area for delivery trucks. Two doors down was a real estate office. The back wall was stuccoed over and painted beige. And the back door opened to a small asphalt parking lot.

So suppose cheapskate Fred drives his leaves to Giovichinni's in the dark of night. He parks the car and turns off his lights. Doesn't want to get caught. He unloads the leaves and hears a car coming. What would he do? Hide. Then maybe he's there hiding, and he sees someone come along and deposit a garbage bag behind the real estate office.

After that I was lost. I had to think about after that some more.

Next stop was the 7-Eleven and then home with a large coffee for me and a Big Gulp of coffee for Briggs and a box of chocolate-covered doughnuts . . . because if I had to put up with Briggs, I needed doughnuts.

I shucked my wet jacket and settled down at the dining room table with the coffee and doughnuts and a steno pad, doing my best to ignore the fact that I had a man typing away at my coffee table. I listed out all the things I knew about Fred's disappearance. No doubt now that the photographs played a large role. When I ran out of things to write in the steno pad, I locked myself in my bedroom and watched cartoons on television. This took me to lunchtime. I didn't feel like eating lamb leftovers, so I finished off the box of doughnuts.

'Cripes,' Briggs said, 'do you always eat like this? Don't you know about the major food groups? No wonder you have to wear those 'romantic' dresses.'

I retreated to my bedroom, and while I was retreating I took a nap. I was startled awake by the phone ringing.

'Just wanted to make sure you were going to come take me to the Lipinski viewing tonight,' Grandma said.

The Lipinski viewing. Ugh. Trekking out in the rain to see some dead guy wasn't high on my list of desirable things to do. 'How about Harriet Schnable?' I suggested. 'Maybe Harriet could take you.'

'Harriet's car's on the fritz.'

'Effie Reeder?'

'Effie died.'

'Oh! I didn't know that.'

'Almost everybody I know has died,' Grandma said. 'Bunch of wimps.'

'Okay, I'll take you.'

'Good. And your mother says you should come for dinner.'

*    *    *    *    *

 I BUZZED THROUGH the living room, but before I could get to the door Briggs was on his feet.

'Hey, where are you going?' he asked.

'Out.'

'Out where?'

'My parents' house.'

'I bet you're going there for dinner. Man, that's the pits. You're gonna leave me here with nothing to eat, and you're going to your parents' house for dinner.'

'There's some cold lamb in the refrigerator.'

'I ate that for lunch. Hold on, I'll go with you.'

'No! You will not go with me.'

'What, are you ashamed of me?'

'Yes!'

*    *    *    *    *

 'WELL, WHO'S THIS little guy?' Grandma asked when I walked in with Briggs.

'This is my . . . friend, Randy.'

'Aren't you something,' Grandma said. 'I never saw a midget up close.'

'Little person,' Briggs said. 'And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.'

I gave him a smack on the top of his head. 'Behave yourself,' I said.

'What happened to your face?' Grandma wanted to know.