going back to Morelli's house. I don't think I'm in any danger.'
Cal didn't move. Didn't say anything.
I slipped out the emergency room door and called Ranger and filled him in. 'So I thought it didn't make sense for Cal to stay here all night while I'm with Valerie.'
'Hospitals don't screen for killers,' Ranger said. 'Keep Cal with you.'
'He's scaring people.'
'Yeah,' Ranger said. 'He's good at that.'
I disconnected, returned to the emergency room lobby, and went upstairs to look for Valerie. Cal followed close at my heels.
We found Valerie on a gurney, in a hospital gown under a sheet, her stomach a huge swollen mound on top of her. My mother and father were at her head. Albert was holding her hand. Julie was attaching an ID bracelet onto Valerie's wrist.
'Omigod,' Valerie said. 'Unh!' And her water broke.
It was an explosion of water. A tidal wave. We're talking Hoover Dam quantity water. Water everywhere… but mostly on Cal. Cal had been standing at the bottom of the gurney. Cal was totally slimed from the top of his head to his knees. It dripped off the end of his nose and ran in rivulets down his bald head.
Valerie drew her legs up, the sheet fell away, and Cal gaped at the sight in front of him.
Julie stuck her head around for a look. 'Uh-oh,' Julie said, 'there's a foot sticking out. Guess this is going to be a breech baby.'
That was when Cal fainted. CRASH. Cal went over like he was a giant redwood cut down by Paul Bunyan. Windows rattled and the building shook.
Everyone clustered around Cal.
'Hey,' Valerie yelled. 'I'm having a baby here!'
Julie went back to Valerie.
'Is it a girl or a boy?' Valerie wanted to know.
'I don't know,' Julie said, 'but it's got big feet. And it's not a puppy.'
A doctor appeared and took charge of Valerie, wheeling her down the hall. Kloughn and my mom followed after Val and the doctor. My father wandered into a room that had a ball game going. And I watched a couple nurses pop ammonia capsules under Cal's snout.
Cal opened his eyes but it didn't look like anyone was home.
'He hit his head pretty hard when he fell,' one of the nurses said. 'We should get him checked out.'
Good thing it was his head, I thought. Not a big loss there if it's broken.
It took six people to get Cal onto a stretcher and then they rolled him away in the opposite direction they'd gone with Valerie.
One of the nurses asked if I knew him. I said his name was Cal. That was about it. That was what I knew. I wasn't allowed to use my cell phone in that part of the hospital, so I went outside to call Ranger.
'About Cal…' I said. 'He's sort of out of commission.'
'Used to be you destroyed my cars,' Ranger said.
'Yeah, those were the good old days.'
'How bad is it?'
'Valerie's water sort of broke on him and he fainted. Bounced his head on the floor a couple times when he went down. Lucky, he was in the hospital when it happened. He was looking a little dopey, so they took him somewhere for testing.'
'St. Francis?'
'Yep.'
Disconnect.
I WAS MAKING a shambles of the Merry Men. I suspected Tank was somewhere in the hospital, too. I'd stop in to say hello, but I only knew him as Tank. Probably Tank wasn't the name listed on the chart.
Morelli called while I was still outside. 'So?'
'I'm at the hospital with Valerie,' I told him. 'It's been pretty uneventful except for the birth and the concussion.'
'What, no fires or explosions? No shoot-outs?'
'Like I said, it's been quiet, but it's still early.'
'I hate to ruin my tough-guy image, but to tell you the truth, I don't even like to kid about this stuff anymore.'
I didn't know how to tell him… I wasn't kidding. 'I should get back to Valerie,' I said.
'Television sucks tonight. Maybe I'll come over to the hospital.'
'That would be nice.'
