I cut my eyes to him. 'Are you telling me I'm here just for the sex?'
Morelli was concentrating on getting me undressed and not paying attention to the tone of my voice. 'Yeah, the sex has been great.'
'What about the companionship, the friendship, the relationship part of this?'
Morelli paused in his effort to release the clasp on my bra. 'Uh oh, did I just say something stupid?'
'Yes. You said I was just here for the sex.'
'I didn't mean that.'
'Yes, you did! It's all you think about with me.'
'Cut me some slack,' Morelli said. 'I have a broken leg. I sit here all day, eating jelly beans and thinking about you naked. It's what guys do when they have a broken leg.'
'You did that before you broke your leg.'
'Oh man,' Morelli said. 'This isn't going to turn into one of those issue discussions, is it? I hate those discussions.'
'Suppose for some reason we couldn't have sex. Would you still love me?'
'Yeah, but not as much.'
'What kind of an answer is that? That's not the right answer.'
Okay, so I knew his answer wasn't serious, and I didn't really think my relationship with Morelli was entirely sexual, but I couldn't seem to stop myself from getting crazy. I was on my feet, flapping my arms and yelling. This was usually Morelli's role, and here I was, working myself into a frenzy, going down a one-way street to nowhere. And I suspected it was Lula's jelly doughnut. The doughnut was bursting with jelly, and the jelly was squishing out in all the wrong places. And if that wasn't frightening enough, I was turning myself on. All the while I was yelling about Morelli wanting nothing but sex, the truth is, I could think of nothing else.
'Can we finish this upstairs?' Morelli asked. 'My leg wants to go to bed.'
'Sure,' I said. 'There are parts of me that want to go to bed, too.'
I was showered and dressed and ready to go to work. I'd had two mugs of coffee and an English muffin. It was 8:00 A.M., and Morelli was still in bed.
'Hey,' I said. 'What's up with you? You're always the early riser.'
'Mmmmph,' Morelli said, pillow over his face. 'Tired.'
'How could you be tired? It's eight o'clock. It's time to get up! I'm leaving. Don't you want to kiss me goodbye?'
Nothing. No answer. I whipped the sheet off him and left him lying there in all his glorious nakedness. Morelli still didn't move.
I sat on the bed next to him. 'Joe?'
'I thought you were going to work.'
'You're looking very sexy . . . except for Mr. Happy, who seems to be sleepy.'
'He's not sleepy, Steph. He's in a coma. You woke him up every two hours and now he's dead.'
'He's dead?'
'Okay, not dead, but he's not going to be up and dancing anytime soon. You might as well go to work. Did you walk Bob?'
'I walked Bob. I fed Bob. I cleaned the living room and the kitchen.'
'Love you,' Morelli said from under the pillow.
'I 1-1-1-like you, too.' Shit.
I went downstairs and stood at the front door, looking out at Big Blue. Probably perfectly safe, but I didn't feel comfortable taking the chance.
Bob came to stand next to me. 'I have no way to get to work,' I said to Bob.
'I could call Ranger, but lately it feels like I'm on a date when I'm in a car with Ranger, and it would be tacky to have a date pick me up here. Lula probably isn't up yet.' I went to the kitchen and dialed my parents' number.
'I need a ride to work,' I told my mom. 'Can you or Dad take me?'
'Your father can pick you up,' my mom said. 'He's driving the cab today, anyway. Are you still off dessert?'
'Yes. How about you?'
'It's amazing. I don't even have the slightest need to tipple now that the wedding is behind us and Valerie's in Disney World.'
Great. My mother doesn't need to tipple, and I'm so strung out with doughnut cravings I put Mr. Happy into a coma.
My dad showed up ten minutes later. 'What's wrong with the Buick?' he said.
'Broken.'
