I marched Ziggy to the Shelby and stuffed him into the backseat.
“I still feel a little like a vampire,” Ziggy said.
Lula buckled her seat belt. “Maybe you’re one of them hybrids. Like you’re a vampire only not so much.”
“Yeah, that could be it,” Ziggy said.
I drove to the police station and checked Ziggy in with the docket lieutenant.
“Now that we know you’re not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks,” I said to Ziggy.
“I’ll try,” Ziggy said, “but it’s a hard habit to break.”
THIRTY-THREE
LULA WAS WAITING for me in the car when I left the police station. I got behind the wheel and looked over at her. “Are you sweating? Your arms and your chest are all wet.”
“It’s holy water from the Super Soaker. I thought it would help with my vampire issue.”
“What issue is that?”
“My teeth. I can feel the one growing. I’m surprised you didn’t notice it’s longer than the others.”
Lula pulled her lips back and showed me her teeth. The incisors might have been a tiny bit long, but I couldn’t say if it was recent. I never paid much attention to her teeth.
“It looks like a normal tooth,” I said to Lula.
“It don’t feel normal. And I’m all out of holy water. I need to refill the Super Soaker. You gotta take me back to the church. Saint Joachim is just a couple blocks away.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s Sunday afternoon. There could be a baptism going on. They might need their water.”
“
Jeez Louise. It was like I was in the middle of an epidemic of crazy people. I drove to the church and parked on the street.
“I’m waiting here,” I told Lula, “and if I see you come barreling out of there with a priest chasing you, I’m taking off and you’re on your own.”
“I don’t think I should go in,” Lula said. “I think I might be too far gone. You’re gonna have to get the water for me.”
“Oh no. No, no, no.”
A tear streaked down Lula’s cheek. “I’m turning into a vampire,” she said, sobbing. “My tooth is killing me. It’s growing more by the minute. I don’t want to be a vampire. I don’t even like watching vampires on television. And I’m not reading no more of them vampire books either.”
“For the love of Pete, just give me the stupid Super Soaker.”
I took the water gun and slunk into the church with it. Two women were quietly praying. One was head bowed in a middle pew. The other was more toward the front. I went to the baptismal font and stared down at it. I had no idea how the heck Lula had sucked up the water. The font was too small for the Super Soaker. I made the sign of the cross, asked for forgiveness, and went to the ladies room and filled the Super Soaker from the extra large sink in the handicap stall.
I was about to leave the church when Morelli’s Grandma Bella walked in.
“You!” she said. “What you doing here?”
My knees went weak, and I felt all the air squeeze out of my lungs. “Praying,” I said.
“I never see you here before.”
“I like to come when no one else is here.” Holy Mother, I was fibbing in church.
“Me, too,” Bella said. “I like when God can pay attention. You a good girl to go to church. I take the vordo off you.” She looked at the Super Soaker. “What that?”
“It’s a present for my niece. I wanted it blessed.”
Bella spit on it. “It got my blessing now, too. I give it good luck.”
“Gee, thanks.”
Bella turned and walked down the center aisle toward the altar, and I somehow managed to make my legs take me to my car. I handed the Super Soaker over to Lula, plopped onto the driver’s seat, and rested my forehead on the steering wheel.
“I need a moment,” I said. “And don’t squirt yourself in the car. I don’t want Ranger’s car all wet.”
• • •
I dropped Lula off at the coffee shop, continued on to Morelli’s house, and parked behind his SUV. I went to the door, knocked once, and let myself in. Bob galloped at me, attempted a sliding stop, and crashed into my legs. I ruffled his ears and scratched his back, and Morelli ambled in from the kitchen.
“Long time no see,” Morelli said.
“Almost two days.”
“Seems longer.”
“I ran into your grandmother today, and she took the spell off me.”
