Agatha H. and the Airship City

her. A wreath of white hair encircled the monster’s brow, and a fearsome set of tusks protruded from its mouth. The lower set had been elegantly capped in gold. The rest of the creature was dressed in an elaborate red military uniform, encrusted with medals and festooned with gold lace and buttons. The sharp-toothed mouth gaped wide. “Iz hyu hokay dere, sveethot?”

Agatha blinked. The dialect was unmistakable. This was a Jagermonster, but unlike any she had ever seen or heard of. “I…

I think so,” she said.

“Goot!” He turned to Gil, who clambered out from behind the remains of the steering wheel. “Howzabout hyu, kiddo?”

Gil tried to stand, and wound up sitting instead. He looked at the enormous creature sitting calmly before him, and looked at the front of the little flyer. The image of a gigantic clawed hand was deeply imprinted in the machine’s nose. “General Khrizhan! Are you all right?”

The Jagergeneral snorted in amusement. “Ho! Uv caurze, a leedle machine like dot? Pliz!”

At this point Agatha realized that the monster soldier had not put her down. “Excuse me?” she ventured. The general looked at her with surprise, and with evident reluctance, gently set her to her feet.

He looked at the damage to his room, and seemed to find it genuinely amusing. He turned to Gil. “If hyu vaz tryin kto zuprize hyu poppa, hyu vaz a leedle off. He iz not due for hour meetink for anodder—” he twisted his head to look at the face of an ornate clock that was smashed onto its side “—fife meenutes.”

Gil went pale. “My father? My father is coming here?”

“Ho yez.”

Gil clutched at his head. “Was I just thinking that this day couldn’t get any worse?”

Agatha spoke up from next to the mangled flyer. “I think the engine is still salvageable. We could—”

The change that came over Gilgamesh was astonishing. Instantly he became the grim, efficient creature that Agatha had seen in Dr. Beetle’s lab. He pointed towards the door. “GO!” he barked.

Agatha looked stunned. “What?”

“Go! I’ve got to deal with my father and I do not want him to—” He seemed at a loss. “Just go!”

General Khrizhan broke in. “Ho dun be like dat. Hyu poppa vould understend. Vy the tings hive dun to impress a pretty gorl make dis luke like nodding! Some tea end—”

Gil forcibly picked Agatha up, carried her to the door and thrust her outside. “Zoing!” he yelled.

The little creature scuttled out from under the general’s chair clutching a tea biscuit. “Take her back to the dorm level. Now!” And with that he slammed the door behind them.

The general shrugged and raised a hand to his face to hide a grin, and totally failed to do so. “A peety.” He rumbled, “She seemed verra—” He stopped suddenly. He sniffed at his hand deeply. He paused. “Master Wulfenbach,” he asked casually, “who vas dot gorl?”

Gil kicked a flyer part off of the remains of the carpet. “She’s just a lab assistant.” He looked closely at the Jagergeneral. “Why?”

Khrizhan grinned toothily. “She smells… verra nize.”

Embarrassed, Gil turned away. “Oh, please, what is it with you people? She does not smell ‘nice’!”

Unfortunately, this last statement was delivered with enough force that it was clearly audible to the people standing outside the door. In addition to Agatha and Zoing, there was a crowd of Jagermonsters as well as a growing number of airship personnel, many of them obviously prepared to deal with fire or some other disaster.

As Gil’s pronouncement rang through the air, everyone turned to Agatha, who reddened, and radiating fury, stalked off with Zoing scrabbling to keep up. One of the Jagermonsters called out to her. “He dun know vat hees talkink about, sveethot! Hyu schmell vunderful!”

At this point it was hard to tell where Agatha’s skin began, and the red coverall ended, but she managed to turn the corner with her head held high. Her attitude was evident enough that the onrushing crowd parted around her, until the familiar figure of Ardsley Wooster rushed up. “Miss Clay,” he cried. “Where is Master Gilgamesh?”

Agatha glared at him icily. “Your swinish employer is in with a General Khrizhan. He’s better than he deserves to be.”

Ardsley blinked, but wisely realized that these were waters best avoided. “Ah—thank you,” he said, and dashed off.

Agatha watched him go. She looked down at Zoing. “Are you okay?”

Zoing bobbled affirmatively and offered her a nibbled tea biscuit.

Agatha suddenly realized that she was starving. Enough so that she seriously considered the offered biscuit. “No thank you. Let’s go.”

Almost half an hour later, the enormity of Castle Wulfenbach had been firmly established, and Agatha was feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Eventually they reached a set of doors labeled “Student Dormitory,” which were guarded by a pair of bored- looking soldiers. They asked Agatha her name, checked her off against a list, and waved her through. Once they stepped over the sill, Zoing stopped, tipped his hat and skittered back the way they’d come. Agatha sighed and pushed open the inner door and found herself in the long common room. Cries erupted from the apparently ever- present swarm of children.

“There she is!”

“Master Gilgamesh really took you on a flying machine?”

“We saw you out the windows!”

“You were flyin’!”

“Were you in your underwear?”

“Did you really crash into the Castle?”

“We all felt it!”

Sleipnir pushed through the crowd of chattering children. Agatha was surprised at how happy she was to see a friendly face, and impulsively hugged the redhead, who smiled, and hugged her tightly in return.

“Are you okay?” Sleipnir asked. “You were really flying with Gil?”

Agatha nodded. “I’m okay. No one was hurt, but it was a real mess.”

One of the little boys piped up in a singsong voice, “Your boyfriend is gonna be jealous.”

A hissing voice filled the room, freezing all the children into immobility. “No, he won’t—”

Agatha started to turn, but a sudden blur turned into a black claw that grabbed the front of her outfit and swung her around as it hoisted her into the air. Agatha found herself staring into the face of a furious woman, her blonde hair pulled back into a painfully tight bun, a ruby-red monocle was screwed into her left eye and her mouth was filled with sharp, pointy teeth. Her tight black leather outfit was fastened with a variety of buckles and straps that creaked and clinked whenever she moved, which she did with an inhuman quickness. Effortlessly she brought Agatha up to her face with one hand and snarled, “He will be in mourning!”

CHAPTER 5

Monsters and machines blotting out the sun

Fighting in a war that never can be won.

The men in the castles are having lots of fun

And all we can do is run, run, run.