were in the carriage and on their way back to his town house.
The silence inside the carriage was a stark contrast to the chaos they'd just left. Colin stretched out his long legs, closed his eyes, and grinned.
He was thinking about the wedding night.
Alesandra sat across from him. Her posture was rigid and her hands were tightly folded together in her lap.
She was also thinking about their wedding night.
Colin opened his eyes and saw her frown. He noticed she was wringing her hands together, too.
'Is something wrong?' he asked, already guessing what that might be.
'Tonight…'
'Yes?'
'Are you going to insist I share your bed?'
'Yes.'
Her shoulders slumped. The color left her face and, damn, she looked forlorn. He almost laughed. He caught himself in time, and he felt like a cad for finding any amusement at all in her distress. She was innocent, obviously frightened of the unknown, and it was his duty to help her get over her fear, not increase it.
He leaned forward and captured her hands in his. 'It's going to be all right,' he told her, his voice a husky whisper.
The look she gave him told him she didn't believe him. 'Then you aren't interested in renegotiating?'
'Renegotiating what?'
'Your benefits.'
He slowly shook his head. She pulled her hands away from him. 'Alesandra, everything will be fine,' he told her again.
'So you say,' she countered in a bare whisper. 'But I don't have any information to prove you're right. Do you happen to have any material on the subject I could read before going to bed?'
He leaned back, propped his leg against the opposite seat, and stared at her. To his credit, he didn't smile. 'What kind of material?'
'I thought you might have a manual… or something,' she explained. She was trying to stop herself from twisting her hands together so he wouldn't notice how nervous she was. 'Just something that would explain what's going to happen,' she added with a deliberate shrug. 'I'm only mildly curious, you understand.'
He understood she was completely terrified. He nodded so she would think he believed her lie, then asked in a casual tone of voice, 'Didn't you say that the mother superior told you everything you needed to know?'
She didn't answer him for a long while. Colin patiently waited. Alesandra turned to look out the window. It was dark outside, but the moon was bright enough for her to recognize the street they were on and to realize they were almost home. She wasn't going to panic, she told herself. She was a fully grown woman and it was ridiculous to get so upset.
'Alesandra, answer me,' Colin ordered.
She tried to hide her embarrassment and sound nonchalant when she finally explained. 'Mother Superior did have a private talk with me, but now I realize she didn't give me sufficient information.'
'Exactly what did she tell you?'
She didn't want to continue with this topic and was sorry she'd ever brought it up. 'Oh, this and that,' she whispered with a shrug.
Colin wouldn't let it go. 'Exactly what this and that?'
The carriage came to a stop in front of his town house. She all but lunged for the latch. Colin grabbed her hand and held it. 'You haven't answered me yet,' he reminded her.
She stared at his hand on top of hers. It was at least twice the size of her own and, dear God, why hadn't she paid attention to his size before? She hadn't thought she'd be sharing his bed, she reminded herself. At least not for years and years, until she'd grown comfortable with the idea… and, Lord, how naive that ignorant belief was. Alesandra suddenly felt like a complete fool.
She really should have insisted on becoming a nun after all, she decided.
'Mother Superior said I wasn't suited for the holy order.' She blurted that thought aloud, then let out a sigh. 'I'm not humble enough. She told me so.'
She was deliberately trying to turn the topic. Colin knew exactly what she was up to, of course. 'And what did she tell you about the marriage bed?'
She turned her gaze back to his hand when she finally answered. 'She said that a woman's body is like a temple. There, I've told it. Now will you let go of me? I wish to get out.'
'Not yet,' he countered. The tenderness in his voice cut through some of her embarrassment.
'You're going to make me tell it all, aren't you?'
He smiled over the disgruntled look on her face. 'Yes,' he agreed. 'I'm going to make you tell it all.'
'Colin, you probably haven't noticed, but this topic embarrasses me.'
'I noticed.'
She heard the thread of amusement in his voice but refused to look up at him, for she knew that if she saw him smiling, she would probably start in screaming.
'Are you embarrassed?' she asked.
'No.'
She tried to pull her hand away from his again. He held tight. Lord, he was stubborn. She knew he wasn't going to let her out of the carriage until she explained.
'Men will want to worship there,' she blurted out.
'Where?' he asked, his confusion obvious.
'At the temple,' she told him in a near shout.
He didn't laugh. He let go of her hand and leaned back. His leg effectively blocked her exit in the event she still wanted to bolt. 'I see,' he replied. He kept his voice as neutral as possible, hoping his casual attitude would ease her distress.
The color had come back into her face with a vengeance. She looked like she was suffering from sunburn now. Colin found her innocence incredibly pleasing.
'What else did she tell you?' he asked.
'I mustn't let them.'
'Worship?'
She nodded. 'I mustn't let anyone touch me until I married. Then Mother Superior assured me it was all right because the result of the union was worthy and noble.'
She glanced up to see how he was reacting to her explanation, noticed his incredulous expression, and thought he didn't quite understand. 'A child is the worthy result.'
'I gathered as much.'
Alesandra sat back and turned her attention to straightening the folds in her gown. A long minute passed in silence before Colin spoke again. 'She left out a few details, didn't she?'
'Yes,' Alesandra whispered. She was relieved Colin finally understood her lack of knowledge. 'If there was a book or a manual I could read…'
'I don't have anything on the topic in my study,' he told her. 'I don't even know if there is such a thing in print.'
'But surely…'
'Oh, there are books around, but not the kind I would ever allow you to read,' he said with a nod. 'They aren't sold on the open market, either.'
Colin reached over, flipped the latch up, and pushed the door open. He kept his gaze on his blushing bride all the while.
'What do you suggest I do?'
She asked her lap that question. He nudged her chin up and forced her to look at him. Her blue eyes were cloudy with worry. 'I suggest you trust me.'
It sounded more like an order than a suggestion to her. She decided she was going to have to trust him, however, for the simple reason that she didn't have any other options available to her. She gave him a quick nod.
