She was tired tonight, and surely that was why her burdens and worries
seemed so overwhelming to her now. There had been so many changes in
her life over the past two years, and lately there were moments when
she felt like an old woman.
This was one of those moments. She wasn't feeling sorry for
herselftthere simply wasn't time in her busy day for such a silly
self-indulgencetand as weary as she was, she was still able to thank
God for the blessing he had bestowed on her by giving her little
Caleb.
She couldn't imagine life without him, as chaotic as it sometimes
seemed.
Forcing herself to get back to the task at hand, she picked up a wet
cloth and began to wash one of Tilly's prize Redbird china plates.
Water splashed her skirt. She looked down and noticed for the first
time how old and faded the dress was. It didn't quite fit anymore,
the bodice was uncomfortably tight across her chest, but all she had to
do was move the buttons, if and when she found the time, and then the
dress would be almost as good as new. She certainly wasn't about to
throw it away as Tilly had suggested, because that would be a waste,
and she couldn't afford to waste anything these days. Besides, the
dress was serviceable and she was quite fond of the color. Age, wear,
and countless washings had turned the bright lavender material a much
paler shade. Tilly had told her it looked like an old, used
hand-me-down, and Jessica had shrugged indifference. The dress was
decent, and that was all that mattered.
Lord, how her priorities had changed. She remembered another dress she
had coveted a lifetime ago when such frivolous things actually mattered
to her. She had noticed the dress in a shop window and thought it was
the most glorious creation she had ever seen. The gown was white
brocade with a wide red velvet sash. Jessica smiled as she recalled
how she had vowed to save enough money to one day buy the impractical
dress.
Her dreams were different now, of course. She never thought about
suitors or dances or parties any longer. She had been a foolish,
empty-headed young girl back then. Now she was an adult with
responsibilities. Her only dream was to be the best mother Caleb could
ever have.
Tilly pulled her back to the present with the announcement that the
marshals would like to talk to her.
'They're waiting on the porch for you, ' she said.
