She put her hand on his flat, hard stomach and circled his navel with her fingertips. He made everything sound so easy.
She couldn't stop touching him. She could almost see the strength radiating from his muscles, but she wasn't the least bit intimidated by him. When she was in his arms, she didn't feel overwhelmed or diminished. On the contrary, he made her feel powerful. It was the most incredible sensation, not worrying about pleasing him, just knowing that whatever she did was all right, being that free, that liberated. Her trust in him was absolute, and she realized what a wonderful gift he'd given her.
'John Paul?'
'Ummm?'
'Are you sleeping?'
'A little.'
'I want…'
'Okay, sweetheart. Just give me a couple of minutes, and I'll be able-'
Her body was still tingling from the last time. She laughed. 'Not that,' she said. 'I want you to tell me something.'
He yawned. 'You were perfect, Avery, but you've got to know-'
She pinched him. 'I'm not asking for a review. I want to know why you walked away.'
Before he could deliberately misinterpret, she said, 'I've told you my secrets, most of them anyway, and now it's your turn.
Why did you retire?'
'It's boring stuff.'
She pinched him again. 'Tell me.'
He opened Jiis eyes and looked at her. The determination he saw told him he wasn't going to be able to finesse his way out of
this one. Besides, he figured he owed her.
'It wasn't any one big assignment that went wrong,' he said. 'Just a lot of little screwups that made me… reevaluate what I wanted out of life. I had a bad problem.'
'What was it?'
'I started thinking too much. I had a lot of time to do that while I waited in hellholes for the next assignment. They were usually generals,' he explained nonchalantly. 'Little prick dictators who surrounded themselves with thugs. I didn't mind killing them, for the greater good,' he added sarcastically. 'And I liked going in after hostages. There was justice in that action, but one night,
while I was freezing my ass off, I noticed I was getting a callus on my finger. My trigger finger,' he added softly. 'That really freaked me out.'
'So what did you do?'
'I finished my assignment, told them I was done, and went home.'
'Was it that easy? Didn't they try to change your mind?'
'Yes and no,' he answered. 'At the time, it was easy because I worked for a good, decent man. He knew I'd had it. I think the way he got around all the red tape was to give me an extended leave.'
'But they're still trying to get you to come back?'
'Every once in a while,' he agreed. 'I won't, though.' He closed his eyes again and said, 'I did some badass things, Avery.'
'I would imagine so,' she whispered. 'And you didn't believe that what you were doing made any difference, did you?'
She'd hit the mark dead center. 'No, I didn't. Dictators are like weeds. You rip one out of the ground and two more pop up overnight.'
He opened his eyes again and watched her as he recounted one of his bloodier assignments. When he was finished, he noticed
she hadn't pulled her hand away. She was still stroking his chest. Her touch was soothing.
'So now you're a carpenter,' she said.
'Yes.'
'Are you any good?'
'Yeah, I am. I'm still using my hands, but now I build things that will last. I don't break necks. It's odd.'
'What is?'
'The urge to kill. I never had that before. I do now.'
Her eyes widened. He'd made the confession so casually. 'Oh? Who do you want to kill?'
'Skarrett.'
She shivered in reaction. 'No,' she said. 'I don't want him to die.'
'You've got to be kidding.'
'I'm serious. I want him to live the rest of his life behind bars.'
'Yeah, well, if I get the opportunity…'
'No,' she said firmly.
'Okay,' he said when he realized she was getting upset.
'I mean it.'
'I said okay,' he said.
'I won't mind if you kill Monk,' she said then. 'But I hope someone brings him in alive. Can you imagine the things he could
tell them?'
He shook his head. 'He won't talk. He's not the kind of man who likes to boast. Maybe, if the interrogators work him, treat him like a professional, he might give them a little insight, but I honestly don't see that happening.' He shrugged and added, 'I think
they ought to squash him like a bug.'
'And Jilly?'
'You call it.'
'She needs to be locked up in an institution for the criminally insane, and she needs to stay there for the rest of her life.'
'You don't want her dead?'
'No, I don't,' she said. 'I don't think she can help being the way she is. I just want to make sure she can't hurt anyone anymore.'
He brushed his thumb across her lips. 'You've got a gentle heart,' he said.
'So do you.'
'The hell I do,' he grumbled. 'But I've got great hands,' he added as he reached for her.
She slapped his hand away. 'I already know you're good with your hands,' she said.
She got an impish gleam in her eyes as she rolled on top of him. He locked his legs around her to keep her from making a
eunuch out of him.
'Now I'm going to show you how good I am,' she cooed.
It wasn't an idle boast. Avery had a vivid imagination, and what she did to him with her hands and her mouth was magical, and probably illegal in some states, but of course he wasn't about to mention that to her.
That night they slept entwined in each other's arms even though both of them knew that the interlude would be over in the morning. They couldn't push reality away any longer.
Avery awakened before John Paul did and quickly showered and dressed in the bathroom so she wouldn't disturb him. Then
she went into the living room, softly closing the bedroom door behind her, and checked the time. There was a digital dock on the wall above the table. She hoped it was accurate. Five forty-five Colorado time, which meant it was seven forty-five in Virginia.
She thought she heard the shower running as she reached for the phone. 'Stay predictable, Margo,' she whispered. 'Don't get spontaneous now.'
She dialed information, got the number she needed, then hung up and waited, her gaze locked on the
