'I'm a rebel,' she whispered.
He smiled. She thought he might think she was jesting. 'I am a rebel,' she said again. 'I don't believe everything the church teaches.'
'Such as?' he asked.
'I don't believe God loves women less than he loves oxen.' Gabriel had never heard of anything so preposterous.
'Who told you…'
She interrupted him. 'Bishop Hallwick liked to list God's hierarchy as a reminder to me of my insignificance. He said that unless I learned true humility and submissiveness, I would never sleep with the angels.'
'This bishop was your confessor?'
'For a time,' she answered. 'Because of Raulf's important position, the bishop was his advisor and his confessor. He dictated many penances.'
Gabriel could all but taste her fear. He leaned forward and put his hand on her shoulder. She flinched in reaction.
'Explain these penances,' he commanded.
She shook her head. She was sorry she'd brought up the topic. 'When will Alex come home?'
He knew she was deliberately changing the subject. He decided to let her have her way. His wife was full of strange worries; and from the way she was gripping her hands together now, he assumed Bishop Hallwick was at the top of her list of concerns.
'Alex will come home when the wall is finished,' he answered. 'You asked me the very same question yesterday. Did you forget my answer?'
'I'll probably ask you again tomorrow.'
'Why?'
'A son should live with his father. Is he content to wait? Is he happy with his mother's family? Do you trust the people looking out for his welfare? A child as young as Alex needs his father's attention,' she ended.
She was actually insulting him by asking such questions. Did she believe he would leave his son in the hands of infidels?
Gabriel didn't believe she was trying to be insolent. The worried look on her face showed how concerned she was about the boy.
'Alex would tell me if he was unhappy or unfairly treated.'
She shook her head vehemently. 'Nay, he might not tell you. He might be suffering in silence.'
'And why would he suffer in silence?'
'Because he would be ashamed, of course. He'd believe he'd done something wrong to merit such cruel treatment. Bring him home, Gabriel. He belongs with us.'
Gabriel hauled her onto his lap and nudged her chin up. He stared down at her a long minute, trying to understand what was going on inside her mind.
'I'll bring him home for a visitation.'
'When?'
'Next week,' he promised. 'I'll ask him then if he's unhappy or mistreated.'
His hand moved to cover her mouth so she wouldn't interrupt him. 'And,' he added in a firmer voice when she dared to shake her head, 'he'll tell me the truth. Now I would like for you to answer a question for me, Johanna.'
He pulled his hand away, waited for her nod, and then asked, 'How long did you suffer in silence?'
'You misunderstand,' she said. 'I had a wonderful childhood. My parents were gentle, loving people. Father died three years ago. I still miss him something fierce.'
'And your mother?'
'She's all alone now. Do you know, I never would have agreed to come here if it weren't for Nicholas's promise to look out for her. He's a devoted son.'
'You probably saw your parents often while you were married to the baron, but the distance from this holding to your mother's home is simply too great to allow more than one visitation a year, wife.'
'You would let me go to my mother?' She looked astonished.
'I would take you,' he answered. 'But only once a year. You can't expect to see your family as often as you did when you were married to the Englishman.'
'But I never saw my mother or father then.'
It was his turn to look astonished. 'Didn't your husband allow visitations?'
She shook her head. 'I didn't want to see them… not then. Shouldn't we go back now? It's getting late, and I've kept you from your important duties long enough.'
He frowned with irritation. Johanna wasn't making any sense at all to him. She'd looked elated when he told her she could return to her mother's home once a year, yet contradicted herself with the mention that she'd chosen not to see her relatives during the years she'd been married to the baron.
Gabriel didn't like half answers. He was going to demand she give him a full explanation now.
'Johanna,' he began, his voice a low growl. 'You contradict yourself. I don't like puzzles…'
She unfolded her hands from her lap and reached up to stroke the side of his neck. Her action caught him by surprise, but he refused to be distracted. He took hold of her hand so she wouldn't interrupt him again and continued, 'As I said, I don't like…' She patted the opposite side of his neck with her other hand.
Gabriel was distracted. He let out a sigh over his own lack of discipline, grabbed her other hand, pulled her close, and kissed her.
He thought only to taste her, but her enthusiastic response made him hungry for more. He became more demanding. His mouth slanted over hers, and his tongue warred with hers in mock loveplay.
She wanted more. She pulled her hands away from his grasp and wrapped them around his neck. Her fingers threaded through his hair, and she moved restlessly against him, trying to get closer.
Her sweet response to his touch made him want to forget himself. It took extreme strength of will to pull back. He closed his eyes so he wouldn't be tempted by her sexy mouth and let out a loud growl of frustration.
'Now is not the time, wife.' His voice was hard.
'No, of course not.' Her voice was whisper soft.
'The dangers here…'
'Yes, the dangers…'
'I have duties.'
'You must think me shameless to try to pull you away from your important responsibilities.'
'Aye, you are,' he agreed with a grin.
The man was driving her to distraction. His hand was caressing the side of her thigh as he listed all the reasons why they should immediately return to the holding.
She was having difficulty paying attention to what he was saying to her. Little things kept getting in the way. His clean male scent for one. Gabriel smelled like the outdoors. It was most appealing.
So was his voice. It was deep and vibrant. She wasn't intimidated by the gruffness in his tone. 'Twas the truth she found it arousing.
'Gabriel?'
His hand moved up higher on her thigh. 'What is it?'
'I wanted to talk to you about important decisions I'd made.'
'You may tell me later, Johanna.'
She nodded. 'Are there wolves here?' she asked.
'Sometimes,' he replied.
'You don't seem concerned.'
'The horses will give us sufficient warning. Your skin feels like silk.'
She leaned back just a little so she could kiss his chin. His hand moved to the junction of her thighs. She instinctively parted them. He cupped her softness and began to stroke her while his kiss turned wet and hot.
Disrobing was awkward and frustrating as well because it took so long, and the ties holding her skirts together knotted when she tugged on them. Gabriel took over the task. He was just as inept, but stronger. He tore the satin slip apart.
