She groaned again.
All things considered, however, she thought she was taking the realization quite well. She wasn't running down the hallways screaming or tearing her hair out.
She wasn't jumping up and down with joy, either. But then why should she? She'd lost her frickin' mind.
She reached for the phone to call Jordan. It was an automatic reaction to want to talk to her best friend and pour her heart out. Then she remembered she couldn't call anyone now and knew she shouldn't anyway because Dylan was Jordan's brother. It just wouldn't be right to scream and carry on.
She would have to suffer in silence. She rolled onto her stomach and buried her face in her pillow, thinking that if a scream escaped, the pillow would muffle the sound.
'Kate, are you trying to suffocate yourself?'
Now that's a plan. She was laughing when she sat up. 'I always put a pillow over my face when I'm thinking.'
He was wearing a pair of khaki shorts that rode low on his hips. They were zipped but not buttoned. His stomach was flat, hard. He didn't bother with a T-shirt. He was sexy, no doubt about it. She refused to look into his eyes, fearing he'd know he was getting to her.
She grabbed the notepad from the bedside table and a pen. 'I'm going to write down the names of the people I think would like to kill me.'
He stretched out on the bed, adjusted the pillows, and stacked his hands behind his head. 'Wouldn't it be quicker to write down the names of the people who don't want to kill you?'
'That's not funny,' she said. 'People enjoy my company. They do,' she insisted when she thought he looked skeptical.
'I sure enjoyed you.'
She wasn't in the mood for teasing. Ignoring him seemed to be the only logical course of action. Kate began to write names, and in no time at all, she'd filled two pages and was working on a third. She suddenly stopped. She was struck by what she was doing, and why. Granted, the notepad was small, but still, two and a half pages? Oh, dear Lord.
'Kate, what's the matter?'
'It just hit me… what I'm doing. If someone a month ago had told me I would be making this kind of a list, I wouldn't have believed him. Good heavens, Dylan,' she cried out, 'look at all these names.'
He rolled to his side to face her. 'You aren't going to panic on me, are you? You're safe now. Right this minute you're safe. Concentrate on that.'
She rolled her eyes. 'I'm not freaking out, so you can stop talking to me in that keep-her-calm-until-we-get- the-straitjacket-on-her voice. It all sort of overwhelmed me for a moment, that's all. Two shocks in one night…'
'What do you mean, two?'
He would have to zoom in on that slip, wouldn't he? Realizing she loved him was a bigger jolt to her system than her long list of suspects. Maybe because the truth had snuck up on her and then… boom.
'Kate?'
'It's work related,' she lied. She rotated her pen between her fingers while she once again concentrated on the list. 'I'm not going to sleep until I've crossed off at least one of these names. I'd feel like I was making some progress,' she explained before he could ask a third time. 'You could help, you know.'
He was on his back again staring at the ceiling. He looked half asleep.
She thought he was ignoring her until he said, 'I guess you could cross off the artist, Oregano.'
'Cinnamon,' she corrected. 'Her name is Cinnamon. I'll bet she'll be devastated to know the explosion wasn't meant to kill her. She was getting a lot of mileage out of the publicity.' She sighed as she added, 'I didn't put her name on my list so I can't cross her off.'
She read him the names she'd written. All of the MacKenna brothers made her list, and she had even included Anderson and his assistant. She couldn't remember his name.
'Terrance,' he supplied.
'I honestly don't think Anderson or Terrance or Vanessa MacKenna is involved, but I included them because they were in the office when the video was played. I also put Carl's name on the list, but I can surely cross him off, can't I?'
'No, you can't. He's guilty until proven innocent.'
'That's not how it works. It's the other way around.'
'Not when it comes to your life. He's involved in some way,' he added. 'I just don't know how yet.'
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and studied her list for another minute or two.
She couldn't believe she'd forgotten to add Jackman. She wrote the name and was putting the pen down when he added, 'And his associates.'
She was becoming more and more frustrated. 'I'm going to put a name down and then I'm going to cross him off, got that? What about Reece? Should I put him on the list?'
Her voice was becoming shrill. She knew she needed to calm down before she lost it. She just wasn't sure how.
'Why are you so relaxed about all this?' she demanded.
'Waiting's always tough. I've got good people gathering information for me. I have to be patient, and so do you.'
'Easier said than done,' she said. 'Are you sorry you got involved?'
'No.'
The answer was abrupt, almost angry. Kate thought she might have offended.
'What about the weasel's wife who took your ribbon? Would you feel better if you put her name on the list and crossed it off?' he asked.
'She didn't take my ribbon. She and her husband are trying to steal my company.'
'But you've got a plan to stop them, don't you?'
She was able to smile again. 'Yes, I do. And when I'm finished with them, I assure you they'll want to kill me.'
He laughed; she'd sounded so gleeful. 'That's my girl.'
She tossed the pad and pen on the table and turned the lamp off. The room was suffused in moonlight filtering in through the sheers.
'Good night,' she whispered.
He didn't respond. Had he already fallen asleep? Or was he faking it so she'd stop talking and give him a little peace?
She knew she wasn't going to get any rest. All she could think about was Dylan. She wanted to sleep with him, and for a minute or two she was actually able to pretend that she only wanted to be held in his arms, but she was deceiving herself and she knew it. She wanted it all. She wanted to feel him moving within her, to touch every inch of him.
She thought about his mouth, his hot, sexy mouth, and what he could do with it…
'Kate?'
She nearly came off the bed. 'Yes?'
'What's wrong?'
'Nothing's wrong.'
'I thought I heard you groan.'
'Oh. Maybe I did. I can't sleep.'
'You just turned the lamp off. Don't you think you should give yourself a couple of minutes before you decide you can't sleep? Is there anything I can do to help?'
If he only knew. 'Like what?'
'You're going to have to tell me.'
She was certain she heard amusement in his voice. Did he know what his nearness was doing to her?
Hold on a minute. What about him? Was she affecting him the same way? He was the sex maniac, not her… until recently, anyway, or more specifically until she'd spent the night with him. Was he toying with her?
'No. I can't think of a thing you could do to help me.'
